HUIEN.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

2012-01-28T22:57:00.001+08:00

-Groans-

Drama ruined my life. Literally. Never felt so messed up before. When will I ever learn.

다시배고파요.

Again.

2012-01-28T19:10:00.000+08:00

Heh, felt bad for not going YF today when kenny have been telling me to go since forever. But brother didn't go anyway. Heh heh heh. I'll try to make it to YF okay... It's just that I'm not comfortable with people encourgaing me to go to YF. I'll go when the time is right this year.

Boy oh boy, my Saturday is gonna get hellalot worser. 9 in the morning: choir, then chinese tuition at 12, then probably chem would be at 3. Wa sian. ITS ALL BACK TO BACK. Straight after choir, need to rush to chinese, after chinese, rush again to chem. AND YOU KNOW WHAT. FROM NOW ON, I'LL HAVE TO LIVE ON BREAD EVERY SATURDAY JUST BECAUSE I WON'T HAVE ANYTIME FOR A PROPER LUNCH. And what to blame on? Choir. Seriously, I don't mean to whine and all about how I hate going choir, but I know its unreasonable also for me to complain about choir on saturdays cause concert is coming but... CAN'T THEY LET OFF THE SEC 4ssssss. D: WHAT. IN. THE. WORLD.

I messed up my weekend cause I've got too much uncompleted work. I need to do hw with KAIYING. HEH.

kthnxbai.

2012-01-28T12:52:00.000+08:00

I'm actually rather thankful that school started on a Wednesday instead of a Monday although everyone's complaining about the short CNY holiday. School days somehow seem to pass slower than holidays. And Wednesdays means it's closer to the weekend. And I love Sundays. Well just a tiny confession, I love Sunday because of skip beat. And it's something I've tried to cover cause I thought it wasn't a good thing to like Sunday about when it should have been the Sabbath.

Page 27 of 366

2012-01-27T19:28:00.001+08:00

HAI. :) Was being high and crazy with yuanshan in the morning before all our lessons. HAHAH no wonder I was tired subsequently through the day. And we were bao-ing liao about almost everybody we knew and I think her brain almost exploded cause she was in a state of infomation-overload. Hehehe. The lessons in stall for us today were all so heavy D:

Was folding triangles with christine and ziyan say we no life. TSKKKK. It's fun in a way la haiya.

Goshhhhh somehow I start to feel the stress already you know. Normally my whole weekday is filled with staybacks so my whole weekday-offs are gone. Then on saturday morning, I'll have chinese tuition and followed by chem in the afternoon. Now choir wants to have saturday morning practices. CHAM. No slot to reschedule for either one of the tuitions can. ._. What is this la. And I can't forsake either one of my tuitions cause I really need Chinese. And chem. SIAN. Means the last resort is to arrange my tuitions back to back. MY BRAIN WILL BURN. Pfft.

Anyway, determined to complete most of my homework today. :D Then I'll mug for amaths tomorrow. Leave my sunday available, and revise econs, hopefully.

Love my chem lessons with kaiying :D not implying that I love chem lessons, but I like kaiying being around. I drew the best portrait ever today. :) But it's faceless :P

Alright, shall leave it here.

All scattered everywhere. Bits and pieces of nothing.

2012-01-26T20:42:00.001+08:00

HEY PEOPLE!! PAGE 26 OF 366; HUIEN FINALLY CUT HER NAILS! Because her mother bought he a new nail cutter so she has cut her nails and she can type very comfortably on her keyboard! -likeastory-

Anyway. Hi. :)

Well on the bus just now, I've been set thinking about how I somehow like the way people mistake me for being a dancer/netballer/musician in band and then when they realise I'm in choir, they can imagine that scene too. They don't guess that I'm a chorister on first guess

Not a lot of people think I'm n band, but apparently there's a handful who thinks that I look like I play the flute. Yay! HAHAH cause if I had joined band, I would most probably have been qualified to play the flute too :)

Then we come to netball. Isaac and his friends keep thinking I'm from netball cause me and Hannah are like 24/7 sticking together and hence they say I look like the sporty/athlete kind. Well I used to love perspiring and running during games, but in recent year, I've became VERY, very lazy. But yay! That means I look like I'm fit and toned and healthy! Which in actual fact, I my stamina is like at the bottom pit, I'm quite flabby if you noticed (YES I'VE GOT EXCESS FATS.) and I'm definitely not healthy cause I HATE EXERCISING.

And then lastly, not to forget, dancer. Actually 80% of the people I know actually think I'm a dancer. Somehow I feel really good hearing that. Cause that's my roots! Can't forget my primary school days where I used to be one of the most flexible and now, my sit-and-reach can barely hit 40cm. GOSH. -facepalm-

Next up though. I think I'm a very clingy person. Probably cause of my insecurities..? When I find a friend that I'm comfortable with, I tend to cling onto that person..? Well that's what I feel for the person even if my friend doesn't feel the way so. That's why I don't really like to sms/call them first. I don't want them to think that I'm an irritating despo ._. LOLOL. I feel so sorry for my friends x.x

Whatever. Anyway, ......... awwww, I lost my chain of thoughts already :( Haiya.

Okay fine anyway was talking to mummy slightly after dinner and she was like "you just work hard this year and get into the course you want in poly. Then from then on you'll be quite relaxed already." And I'm like yeahhhhh... I don't understand whyyyyy so many people have this stereotypical square-box mindset that if you go to poly you're not as smart. JC is the best way. Like honestly... They literally look down on the path of poly.

Hey, after poly, you are like qualified to get a job in the course that you studied/specialised in okay. Your A level certs can't get you a better job than a person who has a diploma. And if you're really that smart, you can advance from poly to uni. And apparently I heard that when you further your course in uni from poly, they allow you to skip the first year and straight away go to the second year. So it'll be the same what. And the person from poly has his diploma cert to lie back on to get a better job still, as compared to an A level cert.

And thennnnnn, I realised that a lot of successful people I know did not have the 'best' education. Most of them didn't go uni or whatever prestigious uni you ever know. But still they've surpass theire peers wayyyyy much. I guess it's just the mindset and will..? The paths you take doesn't really matter as long as you get there. And by that I don't imply that I'm encouraging through the bad way. Tsk, I sound like I'm preaching. I mean, I just don't really like the way a lot of people stereotyping that JC is always the best and if you don't go JC almost half of your life is condemned. Like seriously... ._.

Someone told me before, in order to be successful, "不能单靠读书，要学会读人。" #chim. Forgot who though.

But anyhow, still, success is a word that can only be defined by a person himself. So really, it varies.

January is ending very soon. And I've yet to settle down. And the homework have not started piling in. I'm quite worried actually. Cause the longer they don't start giving me homework, the longer in suspense I'll be in. But either way, I don't like both feeling of the suspense and being burried in homework. Gosh, I have not been faithfully doing personal devotion this whole month... Urghhhhh. So discouraging.

I actually secretly wish to get a perfect score for my L1R5. I'll work on it. But only if the Lord willing.

I've cut my nails!! ^^

说出来会被嘲笑的梦想，才有实现的价值。

Nameless, among the multitude. All but nothing.

2012-01-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

用妳給我的翅膀飛　我懂這不是傷悲

再高都不會累　我們都說好了

用妳給我的翅膀飛　我感覺己夠安慰
烏雲也不再多　我們也不為誰掉眼淚

This song suddenly came into my mind.

I realised that this was in his first ever album. Awesome. I was actually listening to the MV at first and I realised that JJ's voice hasn't really changed much since his debut. Probably he just sounds more sentimental since he has gone through so much already. About 8 years right? Ya about there. Yep, and he sounds more matured now. He's vibrato (actually I'm not sure if you call that that LOL) is still about the same, just that it sounds deeper now, and nicer.

Was ~~stalking~~ looking through Jayi's blog just now (got influenced by Cheryl ahem.) and I think she's really cool. Really, heartfelt sincerely, she's cool. Probably the coolest girl of her kind that I know. And somehow it got me thinking, it'll be cool if I changed the url of my blog and don't tell anyone of my blog url and just put it on my twitter bio page. Then let the meticulous people find out for themselves. But then I figured out a good question... "What url should I change it to?" And then I couldn't think of a better url than http://sweetened-bitterness.blogspot.com/. So I gave up the idea.

To be honest, when I thought of this, I just modified from the urls sweetened-vintage and sweetened-revenge. Kay, yes yes, a very lame thing to do. But pardon me, I was p5 or p6 when I created this URL. So there has to be this childishness right? But then in recent years, I've been thinking of this url and I guess, hey, it sounds nice. Sweet is the direct opposite of bitter. And why sweetened bitterness? Maybe because after through the many stupid obstacles me overcome, here comes the sweetness of accomplishment. That's where your bitterness gets sweetened. Do I make sense? Cause I think I do.

#nowplaying 華麗的獨秀 - Super Junior-M.

Today was not a good day. But it wasn't that bad like suckish. I just didn't enjoy today. Was thinking I could pour everything out to channy today but apparently the ulcer in his stomach burst so he's like dying now and we can't talk. Okay. Sian. Never mind, he's health matters. Get well soon dearie! I'll be praying for you okay :)

LOLOL. Have been listening to Jay Chou's songs for the past few ten minutes..? He's songs are nice... But somehow making me depressed with this sinking feeling ._. Ohmygosh. Brother, stop introducing more of his songs that are unknown to me, to me...

Was planning to pour out what I've been thinking about the whole day here, but my nails are in the wayyyyy ._. So sian. #pekcek.

Whatever. Shall attempt.

So actually I was feeling a little depressed in my morning. Like DUHHH, feeling monday blues on a wednesday..? Who doesn't feel depressed when you have to go back to school. Then the depressed feeling to deeper as the day went on. Somehow I managed to suppress it and then got myself to be myself in school. But I feel so out of place during SDL. Urgh. Like I wanted to participate in the conversation, but I've got nothing to talk about. And I was like being quiet like an emo freak. Checked my phone and twitter regularly. You know, sometimes, just sometimes, when I've really got nothing to say and I feel awkward/out-of-place, I'll just hide it with my phone and use it to cover up my 'insecurities' if you would even call it one.

And after all these years spending in commonwealth, I've came to a realisation that since sec 3, I get depressed easily. Sometimes for an unexpainable reason that the sinking feeling just hits me, sometimes of trivial matters that pricks me subconsciously. Then at the end of the day the prick becomes my wound because it managed to bother me so much. But I guess it's okay cause I get over things very easily. At least faster than many of the friends I know. And maybe that's the good thing about it. However all these are only possible by God's grace and sustanance. That should probably be the difference between me and most of my school friends. I guess. Whenever I'm faced with a setback, I'm always comforted by the fact that it's okay, God will see me through this. Instead of emoing in a corner and swallow in self-pitying, thinking why haven't I done better. And I think I'm thankful for that.

Jebal eosso. gomawo.

2012-01-24T21:56:00.000+08:00

Think I injured my left waist somehow during the 2nd day of camp while running around in sentosa. And genius me forgot about the pain there and wore heels yesterday for cny till I realised the pain there. Hahaha. Now it hurts even more. Gosh, is there even people more genius than me that I know off?

Spent the whole day pigging on cny goodies. It was quite boring today cause cny caused all the shows to stop airing AND DAMN SKIP BEAT AIRS ON SUNDAY AND MOST PROGRAMS STOPS AIRING TEMPORARY TO MAKE WAY FOR SENSELESS CNY PROGRAMS WHICH NINE OUT OF TEN ARENT EVEN APPEALING. At least the cast of skip beat made it up with a new year's eve special program with yu bai and it was funny in some parts. Kay. My nails really getting in the way of my typing. Irritating. But I still can't find the nail cutter... Urgh... You can't expect me to bite them right..? It was hard to get rid of that bad habit can. Some more I seldom play the guitar and I don't think it can be my motivation to stop it again if I get hooked on biting my nails again.

MUMMYYYYYYYY please buy a new nail cutter :( HAHAHA I DON'T CALL IT NAIL CLIPPER LIKE MOST OF YOU ALL DO ;D

May be this is the longest I've ever kept cause I've never really realised my past long nails getting in my way when typing on the keyboard. Sighs.

Double Sigh. School starts tomorrow. Actually I don't dread school 100% this time round. I dread it 90% only. 10% cause I miss my friends. 90% cause... IT'S SCHOOL. DUH. Itsn't it a big good reason enough already? :) Yeah and I heard the next public holiday away is 2 months away. MY THIRD SIGH. -SIGH- I've heard a lot from the teachers. They say that the real hell will start from cny onwards. GOSH NO. I'M NOT MENTALLY PREPARED YET. Can already imagining myself dying. Can already feel the stress. The 25 questions Mrs Philip gave us, questions from 12 onwards I'm like WHAT IN THE WORLD? How do they even ask us to find something that seems non-exsistant and can't seem be to calculated?? Gosh. so much catching up to do.

Waiting for yuanshan to send me the pix............................................

kthnxbye.

水龙

2012-01-23T23:01:00.002+08:00

HELLO :) Actually there's something that puzzles me. Why is this the year of water dragon? Cannot fire or earth meh? Heh. Okay anyway, went to bai nian today. The most common heard stuffs from relatives forever:

1. Waaa! So pretty already hor!
2. Aiyo! So tall already leh!
3. This year how old already huh?

And recently they've been staying this this year:

4. Waaa, your hair grow so long leh!

And then my mum have been saying this for the whole day:

5. Your nail very long leh, can you please go cut them??

And it's true cause it's long till I can't really type comfortably cause my nails are in the way. Aiya I'll cut them after cny okay. Need to find the nail cutter... Hmmmm... :P

Alright alright. Ate a lot this CNY. HUR HUR HUR. I can see my fats from my stomach bulging out when I sit down :( And my legs seems meatier. Meh.

Have been in a camwhore mode for awhile :B But think I've grown fatter man :(

It feels good talking to you again after quite a while :)

New year's eve!

2012-01-22T23:40:00.003+08:00

Went to church today. I'm tired.

Have a blessed new year, everyone.

That's probably how a conversation continue.

2012-01-22T00:20:00.003+08:00

Had a longgggggggg talk with BFFL over the phone. Probably the longest yet ever. 3h or so. Heh. We kept digressing! From talking about how level camp was to the 5km run-walk to how bad my stamina is but I still managed to get a gold to everything you can imagine. And then we'll forest our initial point. HAHAHAHA.

Oh. I just realized that it's already 22nd January, not 21st. OH CRAP. HAVEN'T WROTE OUT JOEL'S BIRTHDAY CARD YETTTTT. HEH. Hehehehe! Hope I'll get to go sgbf tomorrow with brother, if not I won't get to pass him his card.

If today's 22, that makes tomorrow 23. Which is cny! Which reminds me I still have untouched homework and unstudied bio mastery test to study for. -sighs- still have econs and chum. Goshhhh. I'll probably win the world's number one beat procrastinator or something?? ._. Yeah. Maybe. Who knows.

Apparently I was talking to BFFL about a person and was looking through the person's blog. After all the talking and reading, I came to a conclusion that the person's really lonely and somehow the person is short of love or something?

I'm sorry I failed to see that you're really lonely and it seems you dot have anyone to confide into. Well we may not be talking to each other anymore and well we were actually probably never very close before, but I just wanna tell you that hey YOU, you know you can confide in me whenever you want? Or like when you're feeling lonely and you have no one to talk to. I'll be here ready to listen to your grievances. Anytime. Alright?

And yes, that applies to everyone who regards me as a trustworthy friend.

And yes yes, before I go off, HAVE A BLESSED BIRTHDAY JOEL C.! :D Though we don't talk much but you're a really awesome person and although it was quite a month ago but it was fun splashing water at each other. I pray you continue to grow in the Lord and do continue to serve Him faithfully! I'll tryyyyy attend ypf camp this year :P heheheh have a blast! And I hope I'll complete your card and hand it to you later today :P

Right.

Goodnight :)

Time makes enemies love each other and the best of friends turn against each other.

2012-01-20T22:35:00.001+08:00

Hi. Last day of camp. Although the activities were honestly lame, but I don't deny that it bonded us as a class once again and I had fun with friends.

So today was dragon boating and 5km PT day. Dragon boating was very fun except the part where mdm soh kept splashing water right in my face cause she wasn't in sync with the team and she didn't row vertically in the water but diagonally almost horizontally and so water kept splashing and splashing IN MY FACE. It was so bad Diana had some of the share too.

Then we had the 5km PT thing. Walked the whole thing like a boss. Walked the final 2km or so with yuanshan and mughi.

Went to Clementi mall with Diana to k and talk talk talk. Told her some secrets I didn't even tell xy papa heh :P and showed her our 40 stores thingy. Turned out BFFL went to check it out on 5th jan! Wrote on that piece of paper today's date and put it back :).

Right that's all I guess.

SO CUTE!!

Saeng-il chugga habnida

2012-01-19T21:59:00.001+08:00

One short post before I go sleep.

Today was eventful. Ran around sentosa in sneakers. Hahaha good job HuiEn you burnt your feet. But it was fine. We're doing dragon boating tomorrow. Leonard-dy say before when we do dragon boating he said I no need paddle. I sit on the dragon boat slack also no difference cause I'm too light xD hahaha. HuiEn is strong enough! She can paddle!!

Okay so happy 18th. Though I think you've probably forgotten about me cause we've not been talking for the past whole year, but still you've made a difference in my life. So I make the effort to wish you. Have a blessed one.

---

Felt ditched by T today. I'm not saying to anyone cause I think I'm just overly-sensitive and I should get over it on my own. I was unreasonable angry when no one could take the blame.

Page 17 of 366

2012-01-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

Heh, I'll use that as a title whenever I don't feel like thinking of a title alrigt? :)

Excited for tomorow cause NO SCHOOL (or lessons if you insist). But not excited for tomorrow cause there's no Adam Khoo workshop to look forward to for the whole camp so I don't look forward to the camp.

Did I mention I dislike the sun since sec 2? Yes I just did. Right I don't like perspiring and smelling like smelly even after I've cooled down cause there's still this perspiration smell. Gosh.

Waking up at 745 tomorrow! Yay me ^^

Kay bye.

Annabel Lee.

2012-01-16T22:43:00.001+08:00

Hello you people out there complaining about how it's the third week of school and are already feeling all worn out. Left two more chapters till Anna and the French Kiss! Its a really... Sweet book I guess..? HAHAHA :P

Thank you yuanshan, katherine, xinyi, cheryl for the really really belated BUT sweet present! You guys really put a smile on my face! :) I was like smiling to myself like an idiot when I finally opened the present and my brother thought I was mad some more ._.

I'm tired. Shall sleep early today :)

因為愛過，所以慈；因為懂得，所以寬容。

2012-01-10T21:38:00.000+08:00

回忆永远是惆怅的：愉快的使人觉得，可惜已经完了；不愉快的，想起来还是伤心。

Let's start from zero all over again.

2012-01-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

Ya ya, everyone has been harping on the O Levels thingy. Got back my results, B3. In the beginning I was like super disappointed. I mean, I've been taking HCL for 6 years and they suddenly want me to drop? A bit bu she de. Then I was on the bus, homing and I took a deep thought; should I insist on HCL or just drop it and get a better score for CL? Reached home and thought my parents would be like diappointed, but nooo. They were... er... normal..? LOL. Okay probably they thought their daughter couldn't do that well anyway ._. ah but whatever. Then they asked me so how? Want drop or continue. Like it was totally up to me to choose! I mean like, for other students, as far as all my friends are concerned, most of the structure of their education is actually 'controlled' by their parents. In that sense, whatever they wanna do they gotta discuss with their parents. But for me, my parents were waiting for me to decide on what to do.

And in the end, I decided and was convinced that okay, I shall drop HCL. I'll go retake my CL and make sure I get an A1 this May. If I cling on to HCL, then I'll have to live with the blemish of a B3 in Chinese and I may not be able to pass my HCL and get my minus 2. Furthermore, it's more likely for me to enter poly, so the minus 2 from HCL won't actually be of use. The other reason why I don't wanna drop HCL is because if half way through I feel like entering jc, the minus 2 from HCL will be of help. And then again, seeing a lot of my seniors in school today recieveing their results, seeing them getting such good scores even with HCL makes me think, hey! I won't die even if I don't take HCL! And then when I was back at home, mummy told me the horrors of how she think I won't survive the strainous accadamic based syllabus in jc and I was like hmmmm... Ya, maybe it's wise for me to not go jc at all.

Yes, honestly, I do feel sad okay. Like I'll be lying if I said I wasn't. I mean, look at twitter and facebook, so many sec 4 HCL talking about how well they did, A1s and 2s blah blah blah as if they wanted to rub it in my face like that. But trust me, I positive that I'm the most positive out of all the candidates who got B3 for their Os. Why? Because I know that God's will is best for me and what he wants me to do, where he wants me to be is the best place to be in. Well yeah I didn't work hard for this exam, just reading through a lot like few days before it, but if it is his will for me to drop it, I guess I will. It's not like the end of the world or something that I have to drop HCL, just give me time to get over this, I'll be fine in a few days :)

A little confession; I have not been really do anything this whole week although I've been telling everyone I was busy with all the overdue holiday homework and tuitions. Yeah, I tried doing them, but I always ended up procrastinating and then ultimately I decided since I couldn't get myself to do homework, I'll just do something else instead. I watched 공부의 신; Master of Studies.

I was left with 2 more episodes which I've finished up today. Spent about 3-4 days watching it. At first, I watched it cause of this handsome guy:

And then as the drama slowly progessed, I realised another handsome guy:

And I also realised Ji Yeon is a really good actor. Okay, but back on a serious note, slowly, it started to motivate me. The reason why my results are like crap cause I'm not doing anything. Right, I did attempt to study for biology last year, but it was kind of done half-heartedly. I guess I thought by "studying" for it, I count at least account for "not doing anything about my studies" if I did badly in it. But the fact was, I believe I didn't give my best. In between while touching bio, I was actually on youtube wondering everywhere.

This drama was not those kind of extreme sad sad sad to the max cause it didn't really make me cry except for one small part of it, but it was a more of a touching moment, quite different from other dramas that I've cried about like misunderstandings or over some grievances a particually character is suffering from in the drama. The drama makes you think about how the characters started outby working so hard although they thought/know that they won't be able to make it but they still wanted to struggle through it. They wanted to fight before they even give up and run away. I must say they've really been an encouragement to me.

I really love the cast a lot! Great cast! :D

Let's start the race! :)

Sometimes, it gets me wondering...

2012-01-08T23:38:00.003+08:00

Oh well, enough of those depressing thoughts. Though I was kinda disappointed this year because things that I've expected didn't really turn out the way I thought it would be, but hey! It's okay! Life still goes on. Live with that.

Even though things didn't go the way I thought it would be, but still, even out of all these, those little surprises here and there really make my day. As I've said, I've gotten a lot closer to my friends during the december teens camp last year. Well because the unexpectedly, there were WAYYYY more guys who turned up for the camp than girls, so naturally, most of the friends I've gotten closer to were guys. And these guys are reallyyyyy sweet! I put my guarantee to it, sweeter than most girl friends I would ever have. One glance at them and you'll think that they're the "cool cool" people and not the kind of guys who would actually take time to write letters. BUT YES THEY DO! And not only those sweet handwritten letters! Knowing that I can't stand ugly handwritting, they even made the special effort to write in their best handwritings! I mean, okay... It may not be comparable to what the girls can do, but hey! I think in terms of effort and thought, it's already way better than what other girls do for me! Awww, thank you so much guys ^^ A less than three for you all.

Okay, and waddup with all the guys?? I can't forget deary Hannah! Love her card too ^^ Yes it's belated but its the thought that counts okay! She knows I loveeeeee her art! So for every card she gives me, be it christmas or birthday, she'll always make sure mine's 100% DIY-ed by her! SO. SWEET. Of course must give her a less than three too! <3

Indeed, it's all those little things that matters! Feels good thinking about all these despite all the depressing things that ALWAYS make me so shitty. Alright, I'm feeling alllll better now! Shall off the computer jiguem! Bye! :)

One week into 2012

2012-01-07T23:04:00.001+08:00

"When you're here slacking, someone out there is working their ass off."

Yes I know I'm a sec 4 this year, but it has not hit me hard enough that it's the last and final year of my secondary school life. It's quite sad actually. Cause I guess primary school was a rather plain schooling experience while in CSS, things were all way different. Oh right. That reminds me, I need to settle down into my chiong mode and stay that way till the end of Nov. well, at least the end of my Os.

Dear dad, I need my study table in my room if not I'll forever use the excuse of saying my previous room is not conducive for any production at all.

Hate it when mum cuts the electricity for the modem suddenly. Makes me irritated 1000000x even if I'm in a good mood.

Kthnxbai

“生命是個華麗的袍，爬滿了陶子。”

2012-01-06T23:25:00.001+08:00

        追求完美是人们永恒的目标，有很多人为追求完美，而放弃了很多不应该放弃的东西，浪费了很多不应该浪费的时间，但到头来还是不完美。

　　有这样一些实事，应该还不算陌生。考上了一所不知名的大学，或不理想的专业，宁愿再花费一年的宝贵时光，也要求得一个完美的结局；若干年前由于缺乏经验或者紧张造成在公开场合出错，于是一直为这个“不完美”而耿耿于怀；不知道什么时候起，人们形成了一个无形的定式，不管什么东西，包裹恋人，“第一个才是最完美的”。

        实际上生活在世上的人们，除了精神病患者和刚刚从痛苦中挣扎出来的人，现实生活对任何人来说都是不完美的，完美只是一种追求。因其存在不完美，人们才有动力，才能促使人们思变；因为不完美，你才会有改变、创造和进步的冲动，才能体味到改变和创造给你带来的幸福和快乐。

　　现实之所以不完美，是由于人们的欲望没有尽头、永无止境，人与人之间有很大的差距，每个人的需求又千差万别，并且谁也没有权利和能力要求别人、乃至社会按照自己的预定目标走。人生一味的要求完美，必然造成对自己苛求，对他人不宽容。自古至今，追求完美的人不计其数，但上下几千年没有一个最终成为完美的圣人。

　　我们追求完美，虽然达不到目标，但我们决不能放弃，决不能有厌世颓废的“犬儒主义”的心态，也不能把一切寄托于“田园牧歌式”的乌托邦之中。现实生活中我们承认不完美，实际上是摆正了心态，把自己真正回归到了一个正视现实、承认现实的健康心境，有向往才有动力，有追求人生才有滋味，我们要戴着放大镜看待生活，不要戴着有色眼镜鄙视生活。要始终保持一个乐观向上的心理，在追求完美中寻找快乐，在不够完美中寻找差距，砥砺奋进。

         人生之所以从懂事那天起就开始奋斗，就是因为我们生活的过程中存在着很多不完美的地方，就是因为我们的人生中存在很多坎坷，我们奋斗的过程就是弥补我们的不完美。人的一生没有完美，办必须付出毕生去追求，去奋斗，只要我们毕生努力去追求了，那就是完美。世间没有任何事情是十全十美的，完美无缺只是一种追求，真正的完美是相对的也是短暂的，它不可能是长久存在，就像一个企业，创业时大家齐心合力努力奋斗，使企业一天天发展，真正到了完美的顶峰，任何一个企业家绝不可能使企业始终保持在这个完美的顶峰，到达顶峰就意味着该走下坡路了，这就是事物发展的规律。一个家庭也是一样，不完美时夫妻团结努力创业，追求完美，一旦基本完美，就会出现挥霍享乐，不思进取，有的家庭就该出现破裂，不是离婚就是家庭出现败家子，最后又回到当初的一穷二白，又从新开始奋斗。这就是人，这就使社会。

         造物主也是这样，一开始就将人间万物残存缺憾，使人们在不完美中追求完美，使世间万物在矛盾中生存，使社会在相互作用中不断前进，使时代在不断创新中更迭，使人类不断追求中完善发展。所以我们可以追求完美，但不一定能达到完美，也不需要绝对的完美，一生当中只要我们追求了，我们自己感到值了，也就算完美了。

    我“我对生命常常感到矛盾：我是个完美主义者，但却会对上帝的赐福感到感恩、知足。人人常说我聪明能干，但有时我会愚蠢，我会无能。在不完美的生活中，我却能够欣赏在生活里的点点滴滴，生活上的艺术。生命是个华丽的袍，爬满了陶子。生命看起来虽然是美好的，但它却总有些小小又无影的事物使带给我们反感。这，就是我对生命的热爱但无奈。”

It'll all be better some day.

2012-01-05T23:39:00.002+08:00

I realized I tend to be super depressed in the first quarter of the year. Exceptionally depressed and frequently depressed. Can't be helped. :( I see a lot of my so called friends claiming that we're super good friends and all but in the end, always leaving me out in conversations and outings. Post all the photos on Facebook and let everyone see. Yeah. It hurts a lot. But recently I don't know if I'm numb to the feeling already or not, but it doesn't affect me as much as before already. Maybe I'm used to it already, or maybe... Hey, I'm actually quite fine already with you guys out of my inner circle.

It's page 5 of 366 today. Third day of school and I see everyone complaining on twitter about how much they dread school and want the holidays back, about how school barely started and the teachers starts to irritate them. I guess I'm no where different in feelings but hey, school only gets tougher as the year proceeds and our work load gets heavier as the o level draws near. So I'm trying to comfort and convince myself that this is the slackest period of the year before my exams and that I need to really savor it before alls gone in February or March onwards. Goshhhh can't wait for cca step down. One of the partial reasons why I dislike going to cca is that I'm sick and tired of staying back in school till late hours just for cca.

Lessons pass rather quickly today but I noticed a trend is that the feeling of school has ended keep dwelling in me in the 2nd last period. Strangely enough to make the day in school seem longer by a bit more. But it was still the same as before, 3 periods before recess, 3 periods after recess. Maybe it's just the "dreading school" syndrome.

Something to cheer me up.

Before the day ends.

2012-01-04T23:48:00.001+08:00

Milt says he can get me a VIP tic to SS4 but I'm not sure if I can go cause to start of with. I'm very sure going to concerts, money was never the problem. My parents just don't want me to go. And furthermore, it's my o levels this year. Confirm chop don't let me go. -MAJOR SIGHS-

Today was boring.

Had a good chat with BFFLNO. 2 HAHAHA I FEEL SO BAD FOR NUMBERING MY BFFLS CAUSE BFFLS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE SOME ONE AND ONLY THING BUT I END UP HAVING QUITE A LOT :P Oh well, I mean, I really love all my BFFs and BFFLs alright :)

2 BFFs and 2 BFFLs :D

Kay I'm gonna sleep now. Bye. :)

-edit- I just realized I have not posted this entry LOL. It was yesterday's post :)

Page 4 of 366

2012-01-04T23:47:00.001+08:00

Hey a lot of 'cool' people think its overrated so they say it's lame. But I think it's really cool ^^ HAHAHAHA! Okay, shall do a really short post before I go to bed and the day ends. Basically I managed to survive a day in school. But actually it's because hell have not started yet. It's still quite back-to-school. So yeah. But still, assignments are flooding in little by little.

Told mummy about the SS4 thingy and she says she'll consider!! ^^ Cause she thinks if I go I can't concentrate on my studies or something. LOL. Okay at least there's this hope there. And I'm not so depressed now. Right. Probably that's all for now :)

Bye.

So it's tomorrow.

2012-01-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

Yep. No doubt. Everything starts and resumes tomorrow.

HELLO 2012.

2012-01-01T15:39:00.000+08:00

Could hear the neighbours counting down to today so loudly.

I'm officially sick. I'm always sick on my birthday due to my every December schedule. Which causes insufficient rest. And then guess it made my immune system down. So I got the flu. And a tiny weeny bit of sore throat.

Well it's my birthday again and I'm fifteen already! Too young for O Levels still in my opinion :(

It's okay.

This year is gonna be busy with stuffs like the nativity play going on in church and O Levels in school. Yeah, I'll go with trust God, because I know He'll help me pull through this year :)

Reflections.

2011-12-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

I feel sick.

Woke up today to a very weird dream. I was talking to brother lingkang via email but somehow it was voice mail. LOL. Doesn't make sense to me. He was telling me the minutes of the messages over this year's family church camp. HAHAHA weird much yeah?

Went to bM's house today for December Retreat. Was rather disappointed that there were only thirty odd people. Sure 'bout the number and it didn't run over forty. That's kinda sad. But oh well, God doesn't look at the number, but the faith. Yep, we had a nice time of fellowship together. Although the numbers were way smaller, but I'm sure we got the chance to say hi to almost everyone. :)

So well, the time now is 10:40 pm, on the 31st of December 2011. I'm not sure what time I'll finish typing this but right now I can say that it's only less than 2 hours before the clock strikes 12:00 am, 1st January 2012, and I'll really, really officially be a sec four.

I remember last year how I took a few hours to come out with a list of resolutions for the year of 2012 but I have failed to keep them for barely even a month. So this year, I'll not make any resolutions. Instead, I'll just type down the only thing I wanna do and improve for the coming year. In every little small decisions I make next year, which will be tomorrow onwards, I want to keep close with the Lord always. And by that I mean every day, every moment of my life. And it includes doing my Quiet Time every day faithfully and willingly. No doubt it'll be hard, but I need to start learning how to commit every single thing every single day in my life to God and trusting that His way is the best for me.

If what of 2011 I've rememebered that has thought me was that I'm of weak faith and I rarely put my trust in Him. Even if I did, I did not trust Him fully. I acted almost everything of accordance to my own will, on my own strength and on my own logic. That made me backslide a lot. Horrible.

Yep, as usual, I commit every 31st December to reflect on how I've been in this passing year and there's really too much I've done that have shown I've been a really bad testimony. I cannot confidently say that I've done my best for Jesus, neither can I say that I've been a good Christian because I've been a rather two-faced Christian; behaving one way outside church, and behaving another in church. Terrible.

I'm feeling sick, think I've not been eating much. Vegetable.

HAHAH if you actually noticed Horrible, Terrible and Vegetable at the end of my previous paragraphs :B

Alright. Anyway, I guess that's all for my short reflection post.

Bye :)

So what you say? :)

2011-12-30T20:35:00.000+08:00

Ouch. Accidentally scratched the sides of my eyes while rubbing it. Now I'm tearing. Painfullll.

Finally moved down. After so long. I.HAVE.MY.OWN.ROOM.NOW! :)

DAYO DAEJUN. DAEBAK! ^^

Cheer up, Be strong!

2011-12-28T00:37:00.001+08:00

怎麼在愛裡微加幸福少一點自由就變負
太多了你說我的關心是一種束縛

怎麼在愛裡微加幸福再多的微笑也比不上
一滴眼淚的苦無心犯的錯誤

Went shopping with Diana today. BOUGHT SUPER GOOD STUFFS ON YEAR END SALES :D Quality not bad too :) I will try 떡볶이 ONE DAY. Trust me. Don't care spicy or not. I WILL STUFF THE WHOLE BOWL DOWN MY THROAT JUST LIKE WHAT I DID WITH EXTRA SPICY 신라면 MUAHAHAHA ;D

LOL. I think I went mad. Tsk tsk HuiEn, tsk.

Okay, I guess it's true. Shopping does clear a girl's mood :) That is if you found something relaly worth buying. I was feeling shitty, depressed and all yeaterday up till this morning and after shopping, it was rather cleared already :) #Happy.

Miss Hannah a lot. But don't know when to go out and visit her. Maybe this Thursday before study date..? #Hannahdeprived. LOLOL.

Kaythanksbye.

Maybe.

2011-12-27T10:43:00.002+08:00

Been wanting to post with all those thoughts in my mind but the moment I reach home and go to the blogger page my mind gets blank and I've forgotten what I wanted to talk about. Me and my STM. That's why I didn't post on 25th :(

Oh well, this year's Christmas didn't feel like Christmas at all because usually during Christmas, our whole family would go out and gaigai. But this year's Christmas was on a Sunday. So I spent the whole day in church. Yep, it's a good thing to commit the whole Christmas to the Lord, but still it felt somehow different from previous years.

Then went gaigai at Orchard the next day. Bought a new pair of Levi's jeans :) Went for lunch and then dad dropped the whole family at home while me and brother went to Bugis Street and shop for more clothes. Wow. Ah lian's heaven or something..? HAHAHA. But I hardly bought any clothes there since there weren't any decent clothes there.

Then we went to vivo. Was hopping to buy a pair of Vans but it turned out the designs there wasn't very nice. So... Hai. Left the shop. Bought some more clothes there and went home.
Things are like roller coasters. You feel happy cause stuffs are working out and then something comes by and destroy the whole moment and you feel depressed and all.
Maybe it's just me being afraid.
Maybe it's just me running away from reality.
Maybe it's just me being too sensitive.
Maybe it's just me that I feel I'm being left out.
Maybe it's just me being paranoid and nothing actually's going on.
Maybe it's just me, myself.
Life's hard. And sad.
Bye.

Confused.

2011-12-23T00:19:00.001+08:00

This has totally never happened to me before but I'm actually missing camp. Like seriously having the hangovers from camp. WHY ._. Maybe I've gotten older, and by age comes being sentimental. I feel empty because I miss everyone in camp. Maybe. Urghhhh... Regretted not signing up for YF camp. But I doubt I could have done it anyway. Want to go for Chinese camp, but don't think I can. Was invited to ypf camp, but don't think I'm allow. WHY. My parents think I'm overly-committed to the point that I did not spend enough time for my homework or studies.

November:
First to second week: Taken up by school.
Third week: Rest and preparation for taiwan trip
Fourth to fifh week: Taiwan then Malaysia
December:
First to second: Preparation for camp and a little of procrastination
Third week: Tuitions tuitions tuitions and hangover from camp.

But honestly, I doubt I'd do any work even if I didn't go for any more camps. The year seems to pass so slowly when I'm on my own. Somehow, I can't wait till the start of school. I don't know why. But I know it'll be hard. I get drained very easily. Probably ten times faster than what normal people would because I'm lazy to the bones. Too lazy. But I can't wait to take it on despite me knowing that I'll probably feel worse than death. I don't know. I probably want to see if I really can put all my faith in God. Probably using O Levels as one of the first big trial in my life to strengthen my faith. My faith is probably too weak.

Got my new specs yester yesterday if I consider now as 23 December. At first I thought I looked really ugly in it. But the more I look at me with my new specs, I guess it's alright now. Maybe, we all just have to get used to stuffs. Just like when I just took off my braces and looking at photos of me without braces. But the more I look at it, it seems fine to me already. Yes, maybe I just have to get used to stuffs.

Sometimes I can't help but sigh at how I miss everyting used to be. It's not the same anymore. And it doesn't seem that it can revert back. It's saddening.

Maybe the reason why I feel sad is because I don't like changes. Or maybe its some other reasons that I still can't figure out what yet. I just feel sad for no reason. Just one of those days.

Going there tomorrow to get my study table for my new room and I'm ready to move into my new room :)

Maybe it's not a bad thing to have a small batch. At least it's easier to be cosy.

Recharged and ready to go!

2011-12-17T18:34:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE! I'M OFFICALLY BACK FROM ALL MY HOLIDAYS CAMPS WHATNOTS! No more travelling or sleeping outside already! Staying at home permernantly. Just came back from church camp!

Truely every church camp has been really a blessing and it has recharged me to go even further. This camp was really different because the number of unbelievers were really a lot as compared to the previous camps. Through this camp not only have I been strengthen spiritually, I've made a lot of new close friends. I got to know more people. And they were all awesome in their own ways.

All the while I've been calling Ian BFF BFF BFF but I wasn't really close to him. Engaging in a long conversation with him seemed hard. But through this camp I guess we got closer! HAHAHA I guess like we'll sit in the same table at least one meal everyday. Okay, partially cause there were only three sec 3 girls who attended the camp and half way through Joanne had to go home cause she was sick and then it became two sec 3 girls. It wasn't awkward being with him anymore.

Next one would probably be Jon..? Maybe. Got the chance to sit down and talk to him quite often. From aquaintance, I guess we became friends :) Yeah, And Gabriel too. He is so funny. Those two with probably the ugliest handwritings in camp. Got them to write as neatly as possible. -power of HUIEN- :P Yep yep and Joel chan. HAHAHA another guy that I got to see his other side during this camp. Another funny guy.

Then the cheong sisters. Well yeah, they're easy to talk to, but being close to them is another thing. This camp, joelle was in my group, so we had all the time in camp to ka chaiu each other. As for odelia, I guess it was through comm that brought us closer..? When there were many things she had to do, I'll help her; and likewise when I was super busy, she lightened my load a lot.

And there's this person I can never miss out. JARIUS. HE IS SO FUNNY! Whatever he does its just soooooo funny! During water games he tried to pour/splash a bucket full of water on me but I guess he probably overestimated my height..? Instead of hitting me, the water just ended up flowing directly in front of me. HAHAHAH SO FAIL. BUT FUNNY.

And then there were the juniors that I talked to like Isaac, Jeanon and SengLee.

Oh ya! STILL HAVE KAISHUIN AND KENNY! Probably had like a decent conversation with kaishuin only during this camp when I've actually known him two years back. And then there's kenny who's A DECADE OLDER THAN ME. Spent the last night talking with foonghui, hannah, kaishuin, kenny and william. And I got to see another side of Kenny.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST. Think this camp has brought me A LOT closer to Hannah. Like seriously. Well during normal Sundays we barely have 2-3h to see each other and then its bye bye. But this camp, we saw each other almost EVERY SINGLE HOUR. And practically did almost everything together. In such circumstances, HOW CAN WE NOT BE CLOSER??

Thank God so much that this camp has really showed me the providence of God. During outing day at sentosa, while everyone was making way there, it was drizzling. And as sis Irene gave us exhaltation, the rain got heavier and heavier. And it looked like those kind of rain which would never stop raining. And I was like "Oh dear oh dear, how how?? If we came here just to see the rain and not touch sand then it would be like letting down the rest of the campers" But I then I told myself that I've done all the preperations already and it was my best. I guess I'll just leave the rest to the Lord and have faith. And true enough, after the closing prayer by sis Irene, the rain has stopped. And we could play! How wonderful and merciful the Lord is. Honestly, I really don't understand how can people not believe that a great God like Him exist.

I still feel I don't look like me at all in photos without braces. My mouth looks so... Empty.

Maybe I'll just pop by for awhile.

2011-12-09T23:54:00.000+08:00

So hello. Today is the 9th of December and I still have not gotten back my posting mood. I guess it's probably because I've got too much to update that I'm too lazy to patiently type down everything. Great. I've decided to do everything the last minute way. Not gonna write my reflections until after camp. My heart is not settled down yet. I'm not prepared for reality that's gonna come straight in my face next year where days will zoom pass so fast like nobody's business. Hope I'm somewhat settled after camp.

Two more days to camp. But there's like on 44 campers who have signed up! Hurry people, hand up your forms! Can't wait for camp but at the same time, don't want camp to end so fast.

Milton told me he's gonna prepare a surprise birthday for his sis during camp. SUCHA SWEET BROTHER. LOLOL. Somehow, having a brother and not having a brother, to an extent doesn't make much of a difference cause we barely even talk to each other. My brother and I can live so well without talking to one another for a week and you'll still see both of us alive and kicking. The only common topic I can remember that recently got us talking was korean stuffs..? I'm not as into korean stuffs as he is. He is rather crazy to an extent he learnt how to read hangul -.- And worse off he is making me learn them too so like hopefully one day (it's gonna take forever) we can converse in korean. LOLOL. Whenever I learn something, I don't have the patience, commitment and perserverance. I learn the basics/easy parts and when it starts getting difficult, I sorta kinda give up. That happened to me and piano. And I'm feeling it with me and guitar already. Hopefully I don't give up completely on guitar. At least touching it once in a while is fine with me.

I remember I used to be so hardcore with guitar I had a really thick layer of skin on my left hand. Scary much. It really felt like man's hand to a certain extent. ._. But now it's fine because since I realised I've had seemingly man's hands I took a pause on the guitar for 4 months..? So yep, another reason why I'm not touching my guitar very often is cause I don't want man's hands again.

Today is camp buying date! :) Bought all the stuffs we need for camp and went back to church to print the camp booklets. The guys took taxi and the food back to church while the girls walked from IMM to church with lunch for everyone :) HAHAHAHA FEEL SO ACCOMPLISHED. THINK I BURNT 5mins of fats.

Alright. I'm tired but I don't wanna/feel like sleeping. LOL. So 矛盾. But its 12 soon! But I have nothing on tomorrow! But its not good to sleep late, my bodyclock will go haywired! But I can afford to wake up late tomorrow! But... Okay HAHAHAH was being lame by having an inner mini debate with myself.

OH-KAY. Even if I'm not sleeping now, I'll stop typing.

Bye :)

Suffocating.

2011-12-07T15:19:00.000+08:00

I MISS BFFL DANIEL CHAN :(

I.JUST.DONT.GET.IT. Why are my parents so narrow-minded? It was those rare outings where everyone could gather together and I barely spent 2 hours with them before I had to leave for tuition. Merely asked them if I could have a skip of tuition and they started scolding me. Fine. I went for tuition. But after tuition they didn't allow me to go and eat with my friends. Fine. I went home. But I couldn't see them; I would've boiled if I did. I skipped dinner. I still can't see them. Neither do I feel like talking to them at all. I slept through breakfast. I skipped lunch. The only thing I remembered consuming was the clam chowder at Long John's since yesterday. I don't mind if I faint from starvation.

Experienced gastric because I skipped dinner I guess. But I wasn't allowed to cook instant noodles since I didn't eat dinner. Fine. So I shall skip all the meals that mum cook. Till they allow me to cook my own meal. My gastric pains are over. I'm numb already. Hunger doesn't seem to affect me a lot.

Sudden overwhelmness of sadness

2011-12-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

I don't feel sad for myself nor my life, but I feel sad suddenly. Just, this sinking feeling in me. It's not the sinking depression though, but it feels warm inside. Well, I also can't really describe this feeling in me.

Anyway I just realised today that I have actually very little time for catching up on my work and stuffs :/ Like totally. If I minus off camp, all those pre-camp preparations and tuitions, gosh. I'm left with more or less a week or so to myself. And I'm supposed to spend them doing my homework, studying. Great. Since I've came home from Taiwan and Malaysia, I suddenly do not feel the urge to move to my new room. I guess I still miss staying in my cramped old room with my brother and sleeping with my parents :/ Gosh need to grow up lah.

Need go school collect all my books... Weeee. FREE BOOKS. HAHAHA :P

Kthnxbai.

Once in a lifetime; 11/11/11--11:11:11

2011-11-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

Have I changed a lot? Have I changed a little? Or have I not changed at all? It doesn't really matter as long as it's all for the better right? But recently this year, I guess I've not talked so much anymore. And I don't know to classify it under a good or bad. But I have this feeling that one day sooner or later, I'll lose my social skills completely and be a loner. #D:

Oh seriously. I really strongly believe I may die from overprotection someday if my parents still keep up with such beliefs. It's not meant to be a sad day today! D: I feel so cheated. As usual. By. My. MUM.

URGH. DOUBLE URGH.

Alright. I'm much better already. Phew. In a better mood already. -breaths in, breaths out- Even if I don't feel good, I should not feel angry today at the very least. I don't want to spend such a special moment being totally not worthily angry at mum (some more!). Its too unworth my time for such a special timing.

Okay now lets see. Okay, even so, aside anger, I'm still sad D: #SUCHASADLIFEFOREVERANDEVERANDEVER. Ohmygosh. Just watched finish Protect the Boss! Although JiHeon & EunSeul are the lead actors and couple, I practially skipped all their scences and fast forawrded to the second leads --- MooWon & NaYoon! Think their scenes were way much more interesting and touching as compare to the leads. #dramafail. But oh well! It's not that fail cause the second leads saved the day (drama)! #YAY. OH BTW, MooWon in the drama is KIMJAEJOONG ;) No wonder hahaha. Okay, not realy, but his acting skills are good :)

This' my second 11/11/11 11:11:11 and it's gonna be my last. Oh well, still I'm thankful I'm able to live till this date. Who knows, you may not see me tomorrow. Just as much as I wanna complete great things in life (well in my defination of great things, most likely differring from what the others mostly think), life is too unpredictable and we never know what happens next. And that, is life.

Many a time I wonder how good it'd be if I knew what'll happen in the slight near future. No doubt, things will all be so easy and it'd actually seem fun; in the beginning. But then again, there's a reason why we don't know our future. If we really do, then life will become meaningless because everything is so predictable.

And sometimes, I wonder it'll be great to know your lifespan. How long you'll live; At which age will you die; How much time are you left with. And with that, we can carefully plan our life live it to the fullest without regrets. But, but but but but but, again, it doesn't make sense somehow right? Shouldn't we live to the fullest everyday, even so? Another worry would be most of us would probably start working hard at the end of the journey. Like how 99% of the students prepare for their tests. Ain't it?

Honestly, I don't know why I'm blabbering so much crap suddenly. Alright. Back to the reason why I'm sad. LOL. After expecting so much for my post-exam-for-this-year life, I'm left with nothing nice to watch anymore. All the nice dramas are either currently on air, currently being subbed or I've already finished watching it. OR WORSE, HAVE NOT AIRRED. #REALLYSUCHASADLIFEFOREVERANDEVERANDEVER.

1. SKIP BEAT - EXTRAVAGANCE CHALLENGE
2. Office Girls
3. Flower Boy Ramyun Shop
4. Forensic Heroes 3
5. Ring Ring Bells
*Note: It's according to how much I'm expecting for the next/first episode to air.

So that means I gotta wait and wait and wait till all these dramas are being uploaded or subbed and reuploaded D: You know imma impatient person rightttt :( I don't really care about "patience is a virture" when it comes to dramas lahhhh.

11/11/11 11:11:11 am with choir. It wasn't as bad as I expected, still acceptable.

11/11/11 11:11:11 pm. I'll spend it with :).

Right. Happy 11/11/11 11:11:11 fellow Earthlings. Have a great day.

I don't make wishes, because I believe in God.

I don't believe in wishes, because I believe in pursuing them.

But this special moment the whole world has been waiting for, is worth the wait.

Because it's gonna happen only once.

And it's a once inna lifetime thing.

11/11/11 11:11:11

The awesomest dream yet ever!

2011-11-09T11:11:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOSHHHHHH HYPERVANTILATING!! HAHAHAHA :D :D :D HAPPY TO THE MAXIMUM ^^

Had this reeeeeeally really really really awesome dream! I was performing at MAMA somehow I don't know why. And I was one of the multi-performers (..?) you would say? Hahaha cause I apparently performed in many performance. Like being back up dancers for many celebs. WHY? I DON'T KNOW. Well, as I've said all the while, my dreams usually don't make sense. But the only reasonable reason that I could draw out as to why was probably that SINGAPORE FAIL. NOT ENOUGH BACK UP DANCERS. HAHAHAHA :P

So then after performing with Lollipop F (I also wanna know why them.) I saw SUPER JUNIOR at backstage waiting to prepare to go on stage. They were number 2 in queue :) So I was at first quite hesistant to go up to them, but then I realised that it'll be the ONLY time I'll ever see them thissssssss close and so that instant, I WENT SO SPAZZY. I was like QUICK QUICK! PAPER! PAPER!! AND I DON'T KNOW WHY DIANA SUDDENLY APPEARRED BESIDE ME. HAHAHAHAHA. So in an instant, I spotted donghae. So I dashed forward and was like "Sign juseyo?" giving out the slip of paper to donghae. I was so nervous and anxious that they'll be called to perform anytime so I was really rushing and forgot all the basic horrifics. Didn't even called his name or oppa him. Basically, just went straight to the question if he could give me an autograph. And then I realised kyuhyun was beside him, so I gave him the other only slip of paper that I had. Thank goodness Henry was right beside kyuhyun. HAHAHAHA! He helped me to translate most of my English into Korean. But I did make effort to speak very very very basic chinese for them to understand firsthand :P I KNOW HAE & KYU UNDERSTAND CONVERSATIONAL CHINESE :D They just can't speak much. Just like my relationship with cantonese LOL.

Then I turned and saw eunhyuk! 2nd biased alongside with kyu! So I hurried back and frantically find another slip of paper. WHO KNOWS, the super kind-hearted eunhyuk took the paper, but was like 要签不签, then I was afraid that they'll be called to perform soon so I was very anxious. HAHAHA THANK GOODNESS AGAIN ZHOU MI WAS NEAR. He was like tanslating all my chinese and some basic english that he could understand into Korean. And siwon near by was like say "eunhyuk ah, bali wa sain!" HAHAHAHAHA! But eunhyuk was still sooooo chou pi don't want sign :( Don't know why D: But finally he gave his signature. Like finallyyyyyy after soooo long. Ohmygosh LOL. Then I was so happy I could die at that instant. And I woke up.

But I realised that oh no! I have not thank zhou mi for helping me translate so much! Then I quickly tried to go back to sleep (anyway my alarm had not ring yet!) and hopefully get back to the dream. True enough, this always work! I was back to the dream and I was at the scene where eunhyuk handed me his autograph. OH YA, forgot to say, people like donghae and kyuhyun's autographs were full of words and they wrote my name and date ^^ But eunhyuk's one was simply his signature and a fullstop. Why so bad sia :( HAHAHA but whatever kay. Still happy.

So then, I thank zhou mi in chinese. Thank you zhou mi for helping me translate all my chinese into korean so that they all can understand. You're really a kind guy!! ^^ HAHAHA and then don't know why they allllll started to talk to me. Ask me why I can speak chinese so fluently. "Singapore is bilingual education, duh :P" Do I know Korean? (ohmygosh I don't know why but I answered in koren) "Well a little bit, because my brother likes SNSD so he learnt korean on the net and forcefully taught me korean to speak with him" Then they were like wowwwwwww and I carried on in korean "But I'm really bad in my korean. I can only really basic hangul and not understand it at all usually."

Then I don't know why I happened to turn to Henry and then remembered I have not thank him. So I told him in English thank you so much for helping to translate. Then in chinese for zhou mi to understand also "You guys are really kind and nice. Even if you're not the paid translator, you guys still translate to your members!" Then I suddenly thought of something and went to get more papers!

I gave out paper slips to the other members who I didn't ask for their autograph initially. And while writing they were like why? And I explained in English "I don't know about you guys but if it was me, if I was my other members giving out autographs and I wasn't asked of one, no matter how much I'm used to it, I still can't help myself but feel a little teeny weeny bit sad. So I'll take all of your autographs, unless you don't have to have it because I like Super Junior as a whole anyway :D" And Henry did all the translations. HAHAHA. And when they're done, I assured them that even though its little slips of paper, I'll definately take proper care of them leminate every single one of them! Lastly, I wished them all the best for the future blah blah blah...

And as I was waking away happily, I woke up form my dream. And as I woke up, I realised, they weren't SUJU! They were SUJU-M!! :D

WOWIE! ^^ Kay seriously, this is like the ONLY DREAM IN MEMORY THAT EVER EVER MADE THE MOST SENSE!! Right, right?? :D :D :D HAHAHAHAHAHA YAY <3

I'mma HAPPYGURL97 because of that dream! Totally made my day from DA START :D

The middle guy with cake is some taiwanese celeb I guess.

It's 11:11 :) Bye.

#SUJU6THYEAR Part 2.

2011-11-07T22:16:00.000+08:00

So so so, it's their 6th year. Actually okay, I'm not very good with words so I shall just type a short post. Well I've not followed them from the start, I've not seen them going through their hardest time and I've certainly not seen them in person before. I also can't be sure if I'll follow them till the end. But I really feel happy that you guys are still pressing on no matter how hard it has been and at least for the present, I love you guys :)

6 years.

5 albums.

4 sub-groups.

3 asian tour.

2 words.

1 big family together.

-SUPER JUNIOR-

#SUJU6THYEAR :)

Hear me

2011-11-06T19:40:00.000+08:00

This was a recent movie that I watched. "Hear me". Probably one of the rarest, and purest movie out there you can ever find now. If I'm not wrong it hit cinemas in Taiwan last year or something, but I just couldn't find it any where on the internet. But recently, I happened to stumble on it in youtube.

Well basically, in a movie there would be some things in it that holds the theme and if it were to be an item, I guess it would be a water bird. The girl in the movie is pictured as a person who resembles a lot like a water bird. And really, into about three quater of the movie I was still figuring out, why is the name of this movie "Hear Me" instead of "Water Bird" and then I realised, of course this should not be renamed to "Water Bird", as you'll see why in the end. The title "Hear Me" has a much more significant meaning. Although you never "talk" to each other, you can still "hear" some one, not physically, but from the heart.

Anyway, since it's a Sunday, I shalll not post much. But still, its a 6th nov, Happy 6th anniversay Suju :) Sixth year, and still going strong.

#SUJU6THYEAR

Just like now

2011-11-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

That it’s gonna be okay
That it’s gonna be over right away
That as time goes by, it’s gonna fade away
I’ve been living with that belief

Sometimes because of my bad behaviour
I’ve hurt you
Now little by little
I promise you that I’ll change

Even on cold nights, even on lonely nights
You were always there for me
But where are you now?

So much that I can see only you
So much that I can love only you
Only you can make my heart
Running toward you, breathing because of you

When you look at me, when you love me
I can’t give you for anything in this world
Now stay in my embrace like this

Always stay just like that, just like that
And say that you love me, you love me like this
Always smile just like that, just like that
And say that you’re happy, you’re happy like this

---

Like a little child's inner voice to their parents. Well, that's what's the drama's about.

Went to juroong point with yuanshan today to :) HAHAHAHAHA buy some things. Super tired today don't know why. Yep and I wanted to post yesterday to say a small hello to November, but then I forgot. And when I remembered, it was quite late and I was too lazy to do anything anymore HAHAH :P

Alright, tomorrow's officiall one more week to my Chinese Os. No matter how much like all my other seniors tell me that ordinary chinese was really easy and all but I still can't help worrying. I mean, I'm not even revising for it. And by the time if I get a B3 or A2 (well hopefully not) I'll be regretting like mad D: URGH. I don't know. I'm not really for any kinds of Os right now. Even if it's just the O Levels SPAs. I don't care. I'm too young to deal with all these yet.

Okay, quite a bad start to November. I just hope it gets better :/

Looking back, it's time to reflect.

2011-10-31T23:29:00.000+08:00

One thing I've realised from this month quite rather significantly was that I regret too many things as a teenager. Even from small little things like boarding buses 143,30,51 when I'm tired of waiting for my 176. And just the instant when I step on board, I see 176 arrive at the bus stop. This time I'd blame myself for not being more patient and waited just a few seconds more.

It actually do apply to my life. People keep preaching keep the faith, keep the faith. And then another bunch of people say it's time to let go when you've tried your best and other such things. My problem would probably be that I don't know when to give up waiting, give up trying, or just continue perservering, continue working hard. I can't see the end of the route. My faith then waivers. It applies to almost all the aspects of my life.

This month was a rather roller coaster. Well at least I believe life will never always have it's ups. We'll sure have our downs someday. At least to prove the existance of our ups. I did have major quarrellings with my parents. But I shared sweet moments with my dear friends too.

Honestly, I really don't like the fact that Gimgbin had to post the top 20 of the class positions in facebook. Like seriously, can you respect people's privacy? I mean like so what if majority wants to see top 20?! If it was a class fo 40, top 20 will be not so bad. But the thing is that our class is a freaking class of 33. And a top 20 would be like 2/3 of a class. HOW DOES IT MAKE SENSE TO ANNOUNCE TWO THRIDS OF THE CLASS RESULTS TO THE WHOLE WORLD?! At least, a top 15 would be the very least reasonable alright. So what if 10+ people wanna know who are the Top 20 in class? They want to know they ownself find out lah! Why did Gimbin had to do all these uneccessary things? So what if he wanted to know? Go ask himself, and keep it to himself and shut up about it. Seriously lah, a top 20 isn't anything glam cause its not above average. GET THAT RIGHT. -containing my anger, preventing myself from saying anymore higher degree of hurtful words-

This is really irritating the shiatz out of me. I officially dislike him. I used to think that he was nice. But now he's so over-competitive over studies, it doesn't make sense for me to be in any sort of wincey favor for him anymore. So what if let's say someone's the top in class? 人外有人，天外有天；一山总会比一山高。So pleasue stop being so overly obessed by all these materialistic positions, will you-all-those-out-there-who-are-curious-of-the-TOP20-instead-of-TOP3/10/15? It's downright annoying. You make me depise you guys a lot. It's because I know that those people interested in top 20 are mainly in top 10 or top 15. And even if you guys don't have the intention, but you all are giving the impression that you awanna know top 20 so you can laugh at the laggers in the top 20 by moaning how bad your results are WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY IN THE TOP 10. Like seriously, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?. And you all make me think that you all are acting nice to only reveal top 20 because you do not wanna hurt those that are worser than the 20th position. Oh yes, so do that give you the rights to hurt those who did badly in the exams despite being in the 15-20th positions? Hypocrites.

Okay, you all are really not worth that much spotlight and space on my post already. This blog deserves better. Despite this shitty thing that happened, still, I did had my happy days.

Really loved the time when the comm went to sentosa to do the reece and celebrated Luke's birthday there. And I fell from cycling on the sand cause the sand was slipperly :( And my knee is still not 100% healed yet D: Hurry heal please! Although it also kinda almost always rains whenever I go to sentosa, but WE ALL HAD A GREAT TIME ;D Especially getting the burger king crown for the birthday boy :P

Another happy time I remembered with the outing with other fellow teens who had school near clementi mall :) Jingi, ernwei, ian, eugene, luke :D Played saboteur instead of monopoly deal cause its a sure lose whenever eugene's around for monopoly deal! D: But it was fine, saboteur was equally fun too. Then cause Jingyi & ernwei had to leave early, so it was just ian, eugene, luke and me left. We went to explore the HDBs above clementi mall! xD And our ears popped while travelling up and down the lift! (Y)

Then a recent happy event: MA LOVE AKA TWINNEY CAME BACK FROM CAMBODIA. There's too many thoughts going through my mind that it's too disorganised and I don't know where to start from. So I shall not start. What has to be said had been spoken about :D Tooooo many things already. It's between us, yah? ;)

And lastly, Diana and me have a special highfive! :) -ninja highfive!-

It's time to settle down and get serious about my exams already. I mean my Os. Chinese O Level paper in 10 more days. And I have about roughly 30minutes more till its the start of another new month.

Have I done my best for Christ? Have I put all my faith in Him? Have I worked hard for my goals in life?

Many of such questions still remain unanswered. It's not that I don't have an answer to them. It's just probably just because I don't want to answer them with a 'no'.

Yes, I believe that life will never always have it's ups. We'll sure have our downs someday. It only make me believe stronger that life will always never be down. There will always be a better day. I know there will.

Because I believe that God will give me strength to see joy despite through all these !@#%^&?

Goodnight.

Shining Star

2011-10-25T23:17:00.000+08:00

Shining star
Like a little diamond
Makes me love
Looking at me with the sweet smile that’s like a dream to me
Whisper to me
We’ll always be together
’Til the end of time

Oh day by day
Stay by my side, always
Stay in my heart, dazzling
Shining my love

Always hoping
That you’ll be smiling at that place
Even when you’re suffering
Because of misunderstandings and reasonless hate
Look at a further place
It’s the start now
When you want to cry
Lean on me
Even though I’m lacking
I’ll protect you

Love flies to the deepest part of the heart from the start and makes me warm
The never-changing trembling
You are

Shining star
Like a little diamond
Makes me love
Looking at me with the sweet smile that’s like a dream to me
Whisper to me
We’ll always be together
’Til the end of time

Shining star
Brighter than the sun
You’re like the sunshine
Your eyes give me rest when you’re tired
Shed light on my heart
Promise to believe you
I’ll always be on your side
I’ll embrace your small shoulders with a love larger than anyone else

Love flies to the deepest part of the heart from the start and makes me warm
The never-changing trembling
You are

Shining star
Like a little diamond
Makes me love
Looking at me with the sweet smile that’s like a dream to me
Whisper to me
We’ll always be together

Shining star
Like a little diamond
Makes me love
Looking at me with the sweet smile that’s like a dream to me
Whisper to me
We’ll always be together
’Til the end of time

I MISSED YOU.

2011-10-24T22:29:00.001+08:00

Oh hello hello. Trying to use iPhone blogger app cause my mum tryna pms me again and it's so irritating ohmygosh. Someone save me. Whatever. Okay fine.

Finally saw Twinney!! ^^ Awwwwh missed her so much! It wasn't hello without her because at least I still have (you) Diana. LOL. Okay the joke wasn't funny. It was one of smj's song at least I still have you. Never mind. Continuing... It wasn't hello but I definitely felt very empty without her. It's just so wrong with her absence. :(

But ah my foes ad oh my friends, (LOL. Fail attempt of copying Roahd Dalh) who really cares since SHE'S BACK!! <3 Alright alright, calm down HuiEn.

Right. Came home, watched dramas! Office girls an ring ring bell episodes 10&4 came out today :D HAHAHA SUCHA HAPPY GIRL. And in between loading period, I was sjm-ing. Watched how mainly kyuhyun and ryeowook sing Chinese. It's like totally the best thing ever! Super junior + Chinese songs = AWESOMENESS!! DAEBAK!! JJANG!! ^^

But yes, my day is never complete without my parents trying to ruin my awesome mood everyday. It's either in the morning, in the night, or worse, BOTH. Urgh. When will they learn how to NOT ruin people's good day. It's so irritating. My mum have to ruin it by having some temperament on me. Wth. Like seriously? Is it a pleasure or a daily routine to just RUIN MY DAY. It's very unhealthy both physically and mentally okay.

Physically: I'm angry, and I can't sleep well.

Mentally: it's just so obviously why! -.-

Sua. I'm so tired of all these. Really. The more you tryna ruin, the more I'll tryna give you reasons to be happy.

These will cheer me up. SMTown live was in New York today.

Standing 40 Stories above ground. BOOYA.

2011-10-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

Today was really sucky. I mean the school and the home part. I was already regretting going to school despite the fact that I have not reached school and I was still on bus. The pre-school feeling sucked so much greatly today I was on the verge of breaking down.

WHAT.TO.DO. I know me. No matter how much I don't wanna go school to the extent of not waking up for it, I'll still go to school even if it means I'll be late for it. No matter what I say or do before school that it'll seem that I'll pon it, but in the end, I won't.

Then when I went home today, I told my parents there's no school today and my mum said to me suspisiously "You sure tomorrow no school or you're lying because you don't want to go school." That's it mum. No matter how much I detest what you'll do to me some other times and how much I don't understand why you're constantly doing weird things that seem you just want to simple annoy the ass out of me, I WILl NEVER LIE TO YOU. I'm not a person who will tell lies just to get what I want. LISTEN. No matter how much I don't want to tell you something, I will still say the truth because I cannot stand the after-effect of lying to my parent. GET. THIS. STRAIGHT.

And before that, my mum was liks PMSing me. I didn't even do anything at all and she suddenly talk to me in a super stern/strict/angry tone to do this, that, EVERYTHING. Seriously, I'm honest I didn't even say anything to her and she starts giving this tone. And I seriously can't stand that tone of hers when it's not justified in the sense when I didn't even irritate her. It seems like she wanna purposely come annoy the peaceful me.

OH PLEASE. ENOUGH OF THAT. MUM, YOU OFFICIALLY RUINED MY WONDERFUL DAY.

But before I end this post, I need to talk about something happy today to neutralise this post.

Went out with fellow teens today. THEY TOTALLY TOOK AWAY THAT SUCKY-SCHOOL feeling away from me. Awesome or awesome? We decided to explore the area aaround clementi mall ;) Went ALLLLLL the way up to the 40th storey and I tell you it was awesome. I LOVE HEIGHTS. I always have :) The highest I've been to was most probably only 12 or 13..? AND TODAY IS 40! YEAH BABY! :D And when we went down the escalator my ears were popping! :P

The feeling of on top of the world and the view was totally (Y). Today is 20102011. We wanted to come back excatly one months time to see if the traces we left will be still there but... I'll be away on the 20th next month :/ So we decided on the 19th :) HEHEHEHE

THAT FAT COW IS CUTE. HAHAH Ian can be an artist.

Although we can't be back on the exact date but 19112011, we'll be back ;)

日子只能往前走　一個方向順時鐘

2011-10-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

One of those songs where I hear it once and I'll click the replay button till it's broken.

Today felt empty although it was rather peaceful. One went Cambodia, the other going Malaysia and maybe tomorrow the last one ponning school. Hai. So sian. Saddness maximum.

Got back about 6 out of 8 results. Thank God I was still able to pull through somehow and managed a one or two Bs here and there. I PASS ENGLISH!! ^^ Means I can get promoted to sec 4 -heaves a very huge sigh of relieve- You had no idea how stress I was when I had the feeling and was imagining myself retaining. PIMPLES BROKEOUT CAN :( I've never remembered myself being so stress out or uptight about my studies EVER. And in my impression, I have never studied for an exam EVER. Unless you count last minute memorization in the morning of the day I'm gonna have the exam.

For this year's I started studying like 2-3 days before the individual exam itself! Somehow my hardwork did pay off. Except for amath. I'm like 100% disappointed in myself. I think I didn't work hard enough. A careless mistake caused me to fail the whole paper by 2 marks. I didn't practice enough to be more exposed to different kinds of questions. URGH.

Okay, but so far I only failed amaths. I have not gotten back CHUM's history and BIO section B&C. Somehow, I have this small little glimpse of hope that I'll get an A for Bio. But somehow, it seems rather impossible. I just pray that I'll pass both papers for my overalls :)

Cause this and that is life

2011-10-17T18:10:00.000+08:00

Went to IMM with Diana to walk here and there. Saw Mr Khoo and Ms Nor HAHAHAHHA MS NOR ISNT A THAT BAD TEACHER LA PEOPLE. She is actually quite nice okay :)

Anyway, got back 4 of my papers. Although I passed all, but they were all no-quality passes. Thank God however it was really through His strength I was able to do pretty well for Economics. I mean, I reeeeeeeally didn't have any time to study cause of the supid reflections thingy -.- But it was really unexpected that I could have actually scored so high for Econs based on the fact that I was really mentally prepared to get another no-quality pass or a FAIL. I guess, it's really all about trusting God.

At IMM, The Face Shop was being so awesome by playing Bonamana, then Sorry Sorry, then the korean version of Super Girl. No doubt man! They are ELFs! :P Then me and Diana were like standing outside the shop just to hear all those songs playing :B HAHAHHA

Right. There's a very very high chance that there'll be choir tomorrow. NOOOOOOOO D: WHY CAN'T THEY LET US ENJOY THE AWESOME-NESS OF END-OF-EXAMS PERIOD BEFORE RESUMING IT?! D: KILL-JOY. :(

Anyway, saw this song some where and it kinda encouraged me to pick up my feet and look forward instead of harping on old things.

The reason is simple

2011-10-15T12:04:00.000+08:00

YAY I DIDN'T GO FOR TUITION TODAY CAUSE MY LEG'S HURT. MUAHAHHAA OKAY. I'm lazy but yeah whatever luh. It still hurts when I walk okay :(

Anyway, just a short and simple post also. Happy birthday LEEDONGHAE :D You're the first korean celeb that I like without any other influences from others. Like honestly :) Stay healthy and happy always! Even though you're like 25 this year and 26 in korean age, but I know you'll still be that 5 year-old kid who is forever bugging EunHyuk HAHAHAH but do continue to bug him cause EunHae is cute!♥

생일 축하한미다 이동해! 사랑해
saeng-il chughahanmida leedonghae saranghae

EXAMS ARE OVER! (Y)

2011-10-14T23:05:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!! :D HAHAHAHA ^^ Alright, seriously, have been waiting since forever before all these end. D: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I SUFFERED. PHEW. Thank God for sustanence through the whole exam period of 3 weeks.

Went for reece with comm today and sort of celebrate Luke's birthday :P HAHAHA super fun ;D MET JONG HAN AND MRS LOH AT VIVO LOLOLOL. HAHAHA :)

Right, but I don't really have any nice dramas to watch now cause all the super duper nice dramas are either on air or coming soon (AKA E.G. 小资女孩向前冲,真心请按两次铃 and NOT FORGETTING MY 华丽的挑战!!) So I watched 娱百 :) But the waiting for all these awesome dramas is killing me :(

Okay. I'll sleep now and wake up early for tuition tomorrow cause I DONT HAVA LIFE D: Yeah. Mummy says if I don't go for tuition I'll forget how to write chinese words. OH PLEASE D: I need to write du hou gans every week and there's a mock test EVERY MONDAY. EVEN IF I WANT TO FORGET ALSO CANNOT CAUSE CHINESE WILL HUANT ME EVEN IN MY DREAMS LUH D:

I have sucha sad life I'm really gonna off my comp now. :(

Bye.

Rain or Shine, it still goes on

2011-10-06T22:23:00.000+08:00

站在晴天和雨天的交界
該微笑還是流眼淚
乾脆放任自己崩潰
站在晴天和雨天的交界
想要放手獨自往前
才發現我走不遠

The first time I saw this MV I was like "so sweeeeeeeeeet!!" xD Sweetness overload! But then as I listened to the lyrics and follow the storyline in the MV its actually quite sad :/ Although the song does sound refreshing on the surface but there is this hidden saddeness in the song. This stubborness yet unbearingness.

Okay, seriously, what am I doing here when I still have an exam going on tomorrow -.- Confession; watched drama the whole afternoon and not done anything excet eating at night. Gosh I'm sucha pig x.x Anyway I feel so slack today. Maybe it was due to the relieve of the fact that one of the major spam writing papers are over. In addition I watched drama in the afternoon -.-

OKAY WHAT AM I SERIOUSLY DOING ITS GONNA BE 1030 BEFORE I KNOW IT. SHALL OFF COMP NOW. KTHNXBAI.

Kiss the rain

2011-10-01T13:03:00.000+08:00

You know when in dramas you see that people shiver from the rain outdoors? It somehow seemed kinda fake to me. I mean like, the rain got so cold meh? -.- But yesterday morning while going to school I got caught in a super heavy rain. And the rain is not cold. ITS THE DAMN WIND THAT WAS SUPER FREAKING COLD. Gushes and gushed of wind not stopping. Even when I was waiting at the bus stop, I was still wet. Cause the stupid wind blew the rain at me. And my whole skirt was wet -.- I was like shivering and my teeth was chattering while waiting for Diana darling to bring me umbrella. No joke and I'm not exaggerating. It was colddddddddddddd. x.x

And this morning I heard brother playing kiss the rain. And it never fails to soften my heart early in the morning. Number one, I was referring to the song, not my brother's play. He's not there yet LOL. Number two, I'm always very moody on a saturday morning when I've just woken up cause I don't have enough sleep. Number three, okay there's no number three.

I really hate Saturdays. Okay maybe hate is a little too harsh to word to express my discontentment with every Saturdays, but it still doesn't stop me from disliking it. Its bad enough. I have two tuitions on Saturdays and it's not that I dislike my tutors. I love them. Their good at teaching. I just hate the pre-tuition feeling I have before every single tuition starts. I get that sian...-tuition-again feeling. But tuition always end up productive and I feel super good after tuition anyway. But my main point is I have a very strong pre-tuition sianness feeling. Makes me feel totally depressed.

So what should I say then?

2011-09-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been really posting very recently or anything and not exactly active on twitter but okay I had a tummy upset today :/ So I wasn't productive at all today. Listened to KTR till 11 and kinda felt sad that it ended at 11 so soon.

Okay anyway, read ziyan's blog and all her posts there. It was touching (..?) Don't know what's the right word. But she made me even more believed that she's beautiful and unique in her own way.

Right. You know. I always dream about the weirdest dream?! This morning. First I dreamt that I was in school and then celebrating this sec 5 couple's wedding IN SCHOOL (!??!!) My dream doesn't even make the least sense. Then the next moment I realised I was in this cruise ship where we used Thailand currency but it was heading to Malaysia cause it was a choir trip and choir ALWAYS go to Malaysia. And then I suddenly see a lot of friends from everywhere, not plainly choir mates. School mates and church mates. LOL. And then suddenly I have a lot of kpop male celeb's hp numbers and apparently I'm good friends with them and they speak good English.

So suddenly I forgot how, I went to safe keep my phone cause of I-forgot-what-already. And by the time I wanted to redeme it back, it costed me 45 bucks and I was in such a state of cannot-think-properly so I forgotten about my own money and tried lending money from others. And then I scrolled through my contact list and I found the name YOSEOB. AND I CALLED HIM AND ASK WHERE HE WAS AND ASK HIM WHERE HE WAS I GO FIND HIM. I remembered in the dream he said something like he was at the rooftop of the cruise but don't want find him so soon. But too late, I was already on the roof. AND I SAW HIM WITH HIS GF HAHAHA. SO IN ORDER TO CHASE ME AWAY HE GAVE ME 50 BUCKS HAHAHA. So here's the thing. When my phone is being safe kept, how does it make sense that I used the same phone to call people?! LOLOLOL. My dreams reaaaaaaaaaaally don't make any sense.

AND I TOLD MUMMY ABOUT MY DREAM EARLIER THIS MORNING DURING BREAKFAST AND SHE SAID I WAS SUCH A DREAMER. Okay, I excluded the kpop part, cause think she'll say worse stuff about me. But I guess I'm really a big big dreamer. From let's say handphone..? I'll think of text (maybe) then maybe a scene of a drama where the actor recieves a text and then think of another actor in the same drama and other activities of that actor. LOL. Okay, that's when I daydream. My nightdream dreams hardly even links to each other, yet it made so much sense when I was dreaming the dream LOL.

Okay. Done with my dreaming bit. Now back to reality. Got the taiwan trip form but not sure what to write for learning outcome since I DON'T TAKE GEOG. HAISH. SIAN. Okay, will see how tomorrow.

Thank you for sending me that text :)

So torned in between :(

2011-09-16T20:39:00.000+08:00

This has been troubling me for awhile. I can't decided if I should go for the taiwan geog trip or choir malaysia trip. LOL. Actually I don't even know if I'll be choosen for the geog trip mainly cause I don't even take geog. But hopefully cause I take bio chem so I can go. But then if I go for the taiwan trip, I can't spend my last choir out of singapore trip (won't use the word overseas since I don't consider Malaysia overseas after being there EVERY YEAR for past choir trips) with the other sec 3s and we've already planned staying up the last night together watching the sun rise so when on the COACH (its not a freaking plane cause its malaysia -.-) back we can sleep all we want. Okay. Sucha killer joy. Totally.

I'm not confident for any As for my EOYs this year since I've been slacking so much and doing nothing productive. But I'll try my best to be as productive as possible this whole period until my EOYs end. I'm mentally prepared to not get good results back BUT I'm imagining myself getting As for O LEVELS. SO WATCH OUT PEOPLE! I may not do well this year, BUT IM DEFINATELY GETTING MY As NEXT YEAR! WATCH ME! #somotivated.

Alright, shall bathe now then mug on bio! :) So thankful I've got ZhiYe to text 24/7 about bio! <3

Probably the best thing ever.

2011-09-12T21:14:00.001+08:00

Choir camp was a blast! :) Well was really hesistant whether should I go or not, should I play or not, should I this or that. But thank God it really turned out well! :)

First day had dry station games part 1: WON ALL THE GAMES (Y). Danced mr simple during talent night.

Seconday day dry station games part 2: win 2, lose 2. :( BUT ITS OKAY SINCE IT DOLCE. Stayed up to watch sun rise with the sec 3s but unfortunately plan failed cause we all konked out when it was 430 am.

Third day wet games was... errrrrrrr.... (N) Cause of the flour part. Other than that, it was (Y)

Dolce 2011 Official Cheer: "EDWIN ICECREAM"
HAHAHA HOPE EDWIN KEEPS HIS PROMISE AND TREAT US ICECREAM IF WE DONT GET TOP 3

So then, again.

2011-09-05T18:25:00.000+08:00

Hello September, well it's kind of late but hahahah whatever lah. Right, so my only official free day would be only Wednesday since I have tuition tomorrow and a tbc dental afternoon appointment. And I don't know if I should follow Dolce to buy the props for camp since it's my ONLY FREE DAY and I've barely got anytime to complete my homework. Which reminds me, gotta complete tomorrow's tuition homework for tomorrow. Siannnnnn... Haizzzzzzzzzzzzzz (z foreverrrrrrrr). I'm quite sick of all the tuitioning but after tuition I'll always feel so accomplished. So tuition gives me mixed feelings.

Thank God oral went rather, pretty, quite smooth for me today. REALISED EXAMINER WASN'T MS HO BUT MR FAZLIN! (Y) TOTALLY AWESOME. When I went in the room he still asked me if he tested me last year HAHAHAHA HE REMEMBERS ME. But the fact is he tests me like EVERY ORAL EXAM SINCE SEC 1 LOLOL. Oh was Yuanshan & Jason loud that I could hear them speak when they were in the next room while waiting for Mingsiew or was the corridor just too quiet? But I could hear Yuanshan & Jason more clearly than Mingsiew. Maybe its just them and not me LOL. Okay, that was random.

Not exactly hyped up for this holiday although I was super expecting it but then I realised the school has eaten up 4 out of 7 days of it. And with my normal life with tuition, it'll be minus another 2 days. Only 1 day to myself. HOW SAD. Yes, I guess everyone's life gets sadder and sadder by the moment. Sec 4 next year. Goshhhhhhhhhhh. Okay, shall put up my target grades now for EOY:
English; B4
HCL; B4
Add Maths; A1
Elmt Maths; A2-B3
Chem; B4
Bio; A1-A2
CHUM; A2
Econs; B3

SHALL NOT SCORE ANY GRADE C FOR EOY RAWR.
#MOREDETERMINDEDTHANEVER
#TWITTERHASHTAG(Y)

Okay, must catch up with my chem and bio. They are reeeeeeeally lacking. As for english... I shall... Just ask for tips lah. Need to get really good grades for EOY and shove it in my parents face. SO THEY SHALL NOT NAG ANYMORE. MUST SHOW THEM I CAN ACHIEVE RESULTS. #nerd

What Mr Fazlin said to me today really make me even more determined to work harder. He say he hope to see me around the top for Os but I'm like in the second worst class. OHMYGOSH #EMBARRASSEDFOREVER. SO, I SHALL ACHIEVE WOW RESULTS. NO MORE WATCHING SHOWS TILL DECEMBER HOLIDAY. The most only 2h per day. (Think I watch like 5h per day now LOL. #die)

Okay then, shall just donwload songs for my phone and start on tuition homework then school homework.
#reallyneedtoworkhard

HAHAH WHATS WITH ME AND TWITTER HASHTAGS TODAY. (Y)

Okayyyyyyy, bye :)

I asked myself the same questions over and over.

2011-08-31T20:48:00.000+08:00

Well today was rather depressing yet super high. Diana kept talking about Suju to me today and her whole person went high. If you've known me long enough, my 'high-ness' (LOL. How do you say it) is affected by people around me. So as a result I was like high in the morning. During econs Amirah suddenly talked to me about Infinite, then SS501 then slowly kpop in general. And she went high, so I went high too. Chum, Yuanshan was high about Ms Alicia being biased to Britain, and then I went high too. So in genral, I was high the whole day. LOL, probably that's why now I'm so tired and I'm processing my thoughts rather slowly.

But come to think of it, I've got so much things so think about, so much things to do, I've actually got very little time to finish what I need to complete. Think I'll write the teachers cards tomorrow. Biology homework... I really don't know.

So recently I've watched 110823's and 110830's broadcast of Strong Heart where it'd be Heechul's last variety recording and what made me realised was that it really wasn't easy for Super Junior to be so successful and now that they are so successful, members have to leave temporarily for other commitments and it's hardly a 12 even without Hangeng because apparently he is not allowed to be on the same stage with the rest I heard. So I somewhat understand how others feel when they hear that Heechul is gonna be enlisted. Well true enough he may not be their biased, but the fact that Heechul's existence does make a difference in Super Junior and the emptiness caused by his absence does make a reality. Well I've never really thought about it before but after watching Strong Heart, it does make me feel sad that Heechul won't be appearing on screens for 2 years. In addition I've been watching his variety since June, shows like Good Daddy and Family Outing 2 and he is really good in variety shows. Honestly, it never really occurred to me of the impact that Heechul's gonna leave for 2 years, until about today that Super Junior is one member lesser.

Really sweet of the fans afterall. Changed the fanchant specially for him.

Come back safely! :)

Probably pop by here for a sec.

2011-08-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

Short post before I remove my contacts and sleep!

Went to Melting pot cafe and had branch! :D Awesome food there! Well a little confession to make though, it was my first time tasting expresso :P HAHAHAHA okay, so fail. I was so full I only had soup for dinner and I'M STILL SO FULL NOW. Ohmygoodness. Hahaha. Right, so tomorrow is tuition :/ Okay shall sleep now :)

Oh wait, I reeeeeeally want anti-radiation stickers especially the ... ones :/ Think I'm in love with them LOL.

Bye!

The Unofficial Start to my Holidays

2011-08-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

Rather busy this whole week... Got a lot of things waiting for me to do. Hope I don't procrastinate too much :/

One thing life somehow always teaches me due to experiences but I never seem to learn is that never expect too much because it'll usually turn the other way round. Things won't happen the way you planned or imagined it to be. And then usually after I'll get disappointed. But I was to be blamed partially because I had too much expectations.

I'm so hungry now. LOL. Randomed. No seriously, I am hungry.

Everything seem to fall out of place.. :/

2011-08-26T20:12:00.002+08:00

Rudely interrupted by mum and was told to go home immediately when we called when I've told her countless times since Sunday I'll be meeting friends on Friday in case she scolds me of not informing her again. Even told her this morning I'll be out. Wasn't even 4 when she called me, scolded me, asked me to go home, scolding me I was being so brazen nowadays that I didn't tell her beforehand that I was going out. And as a result, I must go home right at that instant. Right. Before I even met my friends I even met up with papa to settle some orthortics stuffs and before leaving him, I told him I was off to meet my friends, twice. AND HE EVEN SAID OKAY AND BYE. And then when he came home, he scolded me for going to meet my friends and not going home after school. LIKE SERIOUSLY?! WHY ARE YOU ALL BEING LIKE THIS?! 왜이러니 And when you guys scold me, somehow you add words here and there and WALA! IT ALL BECOMES MY FAULT! You guys specially studied how to scold people? That's why when you all complain to stores, scold them for inefficient service etc, you all ALWAYS end up with something free, or some discounts. I sincerely salute you all for your scolding skills. You guys must have came a long way.

I don't understand how me hanging out with friends angers you all so much; not forgetting the fact that I actually took the trouble to tell you all WAYYYYYYYYY AHEAD OF TIME AND MANY MANY TIMES AND EVEN IN THE MORNING TODAY AND YOU ALL SAID OKAY. Perviously when I called you all to tell you all that I was going out until quite late, I got a trashing when I got home just because I told you all claimed-the-oh-so-last-minute; whatever. So I even told you all four days earlier but still get scolded for not telling you all. I just think you all have a problem with me going out right? And when it comes to brother, he just have to sms you all and nothing happens. He doesn't get a scolding whatsoever. I feel so cheated by you guys. You all ALWAYS have to ruin my day like that right? Thanks, but no thanks.

Anyway. A :) and a :@ would summarise my day. :) was where school was slack and everyone was being so funny. But thankfully, there was lzx's clips that ost1nao uploaded for us youtubers and saw a few superman + mr simple clips that made me smile and all cheered up.

Yep, this song is quite BHB but the part where Teukie sang (or should I say rapped..?) was very touching.

Should I pluck the stars for you, count them one, two, three
With the stars we've lost. We're thirteen stars.

This song is sooooo them. The stars they've lost? Those three would have been HanKyung due to contract issues, KiBum due to acting commitments and KangIn due to NS. But in the end, they are all thirteen stars togething in the Super Junior family. And so heartening they got the leader to sing it. Heard it was Leeteuk who wrote this song! Even though this may be their 'last' full length album that they'll be producing because Teuk & Hee will be serving in NS but the last part of the song promises it won't be the last of them.

Who would be able to say we've finished
Super Junior is only missing the 'man' from the name of 'superman'...
Even if the road we walk is barren,
We are in the end, Super Junior
The last man standing.

Make me even respect Teukkie more.

It has always been a blessing.

2011-08-21T21:10:00.000+08:00

WOW! SUPER EGG-CITED! I REALLY WANNA GO TAIWAN VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH! :O Read my email and there was this 8-days imemersion program. Really wanna go very, very much D: Since choir cmi, isn't this like the chance? Immersion program some more x.x Haish, however, don't think I can go though... I've been to Nan jing already. And think a lot of people will wanna go for this trip. Like seriously, compare China and Taiwan, of course Taiwan without a doubt right? :/ But think my chances of going for this thingy is very, very low. Okay, I'm sad already :(

Anyway, today was retreat. Was rather fruitful I guess. HAHAHA. Went to Fat Cow after retreat and played monopoly game! xD HEHEHE, ganged up with Joanne against Ian & Joshua xD Totally won them :) Yay us! Can't wait for Friday! :) We're meeting up to koi! :D

That reminds me, need to meet up with Ben soon x.x have not been attending SGH for a long time :/

But like seriously, ACSI likes to holiday A LOT. Ian doesn't have school on Friday -.-

Procrastination is dangerous.

2011-08-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

Plan to complete all my homework by weekend totally failed. Super Junior shows so much more attractive x.x Ohmygosh. Production rate: 0%. Die already lah, eoy how to get good marks? I know practically nothing about bio, chem and chum. Furthermore I don't know if I should continue being in Mrs Philip's class for sec 4 next year or not.

Ah, so many commitments, so many things to accomplish, but so little self-discipline and so weak determination. Guess this is what I call the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak? I wouldn't really blame it on time. Time is short, but it's never too little for you to not accomplish your tasks. The problem lies with the person. I procrastinate too much. And I don't want to take the first step of stop watching my videos which never starts my motivation of studying.

I'll probably rackey camp's outing venues after my EOYs which would be somewhere after 12th Oct..? Urgh... Need to come up with all the plans and activities before the next meeting. :/ Have not caught up with MingDao & Bro David since last week. Don't know how's web going. Turns out that doing Outing is not that slack, in fact, quite a lot of stress. It's so different from other portfolios in that sense at least for others, you've got the location which is the church and you can peacefully plan everything within the church premises. But outing is so hard to say. If the outing is no good, then bam, you don't really have any time to improve it since its like those few hours. But I don't wish to plan a boring outing. At the same time, planing an interesting one would be a big challenge in this time frame.

I'll probably see how it goes. Afterall, I'm not the person who usually plans things way ahead. I believe time changes a lot of things. If by then what you've plan or thought initailly can't be done cause of changed circumstances, you'll get disappointed, unecessarily. I'm not really promoting last minute work, but I feel I'm the type of person who can brainstorm or come up with things more and better last minute. Afterall, the saying goes, things turns out funner when it's unplanned. Planned things may cause disappointment as it usually doesn't turn out the way you wished. No point worrying too much! Leave it to the Lord :)

Yep. I'm sleeping now :)

Leave it to time

2011-08-12T15:43:00.000+08:00

不喜歡懷疑什麼　並不表示我沒有感受

看你微妙的變化　慢慢不同
我不是生氣　　只是心痛
最討厭被誤會了　但越解釋越覺得難過
你可以説人會變　但不能説　你會這麼做是我的錯

哭過就好了　傷都會好的
這樣相信所以深呼吸著割捨
愛是為了擁抱為了牽手
不是為了爭吵為了調頭

哭過就好了　痛都會走的
記憶有限所以它會淘汰壞的
失眠聽歌想念雖然苦澀
還是謝謝你讓我長大了

越多美好堆疊的過往
想忘就得推倒更大的悲傷
要找勇氣卻不在口袋或手上
但它一定在我身上某個地方

Still couldn't help butshed tears when seeing the coffin go down. But all is well. The Lord is really good.

Just a short post

2011-08-11T19:33:00.002+08:00

A short summary about what I feel today..? Heard Mdm Soh said I went hospital. Lol are you serious?! Seriously, I really don't mind if she said I had a funeral to attend. Just that it's better to keep a low-key on what happened. After all, it's not something to celebrate about.

Just for my friends, don't worry I'm fine okay. Hahah recede so many texts asking if I'm okay or not. So sweet :) thank you people but I'm reeeeeeeally alright so don't don't worry okay!

Surprisingly, experiencing the first death of a family member as far as my memory serves me isn't that scary, or emotional or whatever I've had normally seen in dramas. Fair enough, I do feel sad, but not till the extend where I would be all crying-like-there's-no-tomorrow. And it has made me come to think that, no matter what happens, life still goes on. The farewell of a person does not stop the clock from ticking, there are still many things in life for us to complete.

Maybe the after effects of grandfather's passing away will seep in as time passes, but it still doesn't change the fact that the Lord has taken grandfather away.

I pray the Lord would be merciful and grant that we may be strong and faithful, grant us sustenance.

At peace.

2011-08-10T09:40:00.002+08:00

Well I kinda have a bit of a mixed feelings now. So firstly shall yabble about 8th August where the school celebrated National Day..? Kinda wasted 4 hours of our time listening to speeches and prize presentation. Really did almost nothing. Went to vivo to watch Zookeeper. Well maybe it was for the better. Really don't like the feeling of seeing juniors everywhere in JP where we initially wanted to go to. And furthermore JP would be super boring to go since we go there almost EVERY WEEK, or rather, after EVERY school events. Last thing that I'd like going to vivo after all those reasons that is it's near my house :) Super duper convienent. I can still take a bus home with YuanShan! :)

Then next would be National Day, 9 August. Had kite flying day, but lesser people came this year. Flew kite for the first time in my whole life as far as my memory serves me. Super successful. It flew so high right away Esther & Ern-wei were so jealous :P

Mine is towards the right. The other was Luke's.

While others were in the celebratory mood watching NDP, I was watching suju's EHB. LOL. But I could see everyone still so supportive even in twitter.

SHARON AU IN A HEARTBEAT WATCHING NDP GURMIT SINGH ALL TRENDING! SINGAPORE FTW!

Well this would be President SR Nathan's last National Day Parade as the Head of States. For the past 12 years of my life, and that would be even since I started school as a kindergarten toddler, his photo was hung everywhere. It would really get me awhile to get use to the new photo that is gonna be changed to this coming end-of-august. He's last words being "The sun will rise, the sun will set, I will still see you. All good things must end some day. I take it in my stride." Really make me respect him."I hope they will always be conscious of the message of this National Day. That we are in a continuous relay. There's no end to it. We have to keep on striving, that's the nature of our life."

Today? Grandfather passed away 6.30am in the morning. The first thing that hit me was, pray. And when I prayed, I thanked God for bringing him home. Sub-consciously. Yes, I was sad. I did cry. But I experienced this peace that passeth all understanding. I thanked God for the peace, the mercy, the sustenance, the comfort and the love He had blessed grandfather with all his life. Even though at times he'll feel very useless because he is visually impaired and frail in being, even though as grandchildren we neglected him, even though the outer man grows weaker and weaker in time, God never did forsake him.

Probably the lesson during June camp where we walked in the cemetry did I forget. Death has once again never felt so real. The day before while visiting him, he still seemed fine and his condition had improved. But bam and this morning he had a really high fever, and the Lord took him. I never knew that it would be the last time calling him and I've always took it for granted that he's condition would improve and I would see him at home again. But thank God he passed away peacefully.

Many thoughts came acrossed my mind but this particular verse was suddenly remembered.
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." -Matthew6:33-34

Really, we don't know when our lifes are gonna end. We can never take for granted being young and all healthy, we'll live a ripe old age; being technologically advance, almost all illnesses can be cured.
"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vaniseth away." -James4:14
Life is really fragile and I guess, the message brought acrossed to me today is to live life to the fullest for Christ, as if there's no tomorrow because you really don't know when your time's up. The following verse of James 4:14 goes "For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that."

I'm honestly not all emo-wrist-cutty-whatever over the passing away of my grandfather. I'm just sad , that's all. But I'm fine. I'll remember grandfather always by that caring person who put up with the very mischevious little me when I was very young. Because he had fought a good fight, he had finished his course, he had kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for him a crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give him at that day. The Lord had remembered him and has put an end to all his earthly sufferings which his outer being cause him.

I hope I can keep up to this; Praise the Lord for his abundant mercy, and till He comes, I'll serve Him wholeheartedly, stedfastly and faithfully.

Who remembered when it rained?

2011-08-05T19:39:00.000+08:00

Well probably just a random thought that sumed up my whole day since I'm so tired to be bothered with anything. Need my sleep yeah.

What hurts the most, is being so close, having so much to say yet silently watch them walk away most probably never coming back

Nonetheless, it's still First of August

2011-08-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

Life still goes on. Hmmm... What should I talk about today? :) I don't really know. But wanna write a post today cause it's the first of august. Well, I was asleep on the last day of july till the first of august. LOL. So lame. Hmmm... Aiya, after thinking for 2 hours, I've got nothing to type/no thoughts. Shall leave it hanging..................................................

here.

Bye :)

You all deserve a round of an applause

2011-07-31T21:35:00.000+08:00

Okay, so continuing from yesterday, YOU ALL KNOW WHUTTTT?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOW LUO TRENDED ON TWITTER YESTERDAY AFTERNOON!! Just that I didn't catch it :'(

One of the tweet peep who caught it and shared with everyone :) So proud of this guy who made it there :') Oh, please don't mind the SWC, Scape & SHINee there kay :P The main zhu jiao is xiao zhu :D Really love this guy for being so strong despite the countless attacks he get from the media and so many SFCs readily and steadfastly supporting him. He's forever 25! xD

He deserves it :)

Well next wanna talk about the leaders of groups. Well recently it came to my mind that it's really tough being a leader of a group, especially a famous group.

HAHAHA remember I used to love this group. But ever since they disbanded, ahhh, not really anymore. And their leader ao quan :)

And next, how can we forget SHINee? :)

With their dearest leader Onew

These two leaders are really great. They care for their members like ao quan makes sure his group members does their best so that they can be better. As for Onew, he makes sure his members all get the spotlight and it doesn't matter to him if he has to share it with them. Such sacrifices here and there for their group make me respect them a lot. But I guess, if I were to talk about respect, I would probably say that I really really really (x10000^1234567) respect Leeteuk.

Heard he gets up early just to make sure his members wake up on time for they schedule the next day and he really loves his members a lot. When Hangeng had contract issues and he left the company, he was like crying like mad along with Heechul. And then when Kangin went for NS he was still so sentimental about him. And his last wish before going into NS at the end of this year/start of next year is for hangeng and all super junior members to stand on the stage again and perform once. And lastly, he thinks of Henry & Zhoumi as a part of the suju family. Such a sweet guy. And I've happened to see quite a few videos of their super show and I see him treating all the ELFs so well. He'll do his best to make sure every ELFs he've came across feel special. Really. And brother agrees with me too. Then brother told me he is the most all-rounder in the group also. He is good in dancing (although donghae & eunhyuk dance better), he can sing well (although yesung & kyuhyun can sing better), he is a fab radio dj, he can mc well and can act well. Last but not least, he is the most caring (apparently). So I guess, ~~he is the 2nd person~~ I respect him as much as I respect lzx. Both of them really care about their fans a lot. Just that one is restrained by company, the other has much more freedom.

I prefer the family of 15 although I like the 13 together

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUOZHIXIANG

2011-07-30T22:47:00.000+08:00

HELLO! ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY AND IM GONNA DEDICATE THIS POST TO YOU :D Although I do have new found love, you'll still be my number 1 okay! :D My parents are pmsing and they suddenly cut off my wifi. So I'll just make do with what my phone can offer :) Will continue my post tomorrow. Just wanted to post today to show that I still love you :)

Something we all got called kindness.

2011-07-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

Hello! Today was a really great day! Forced myself to study econ yesterday night until 12+ am cause I didn't want to be the only one in class to not get an A1 or worse, fail the exam. So since I couldn't remember all the points, I forced myself to study by rewriting all the notes that was going to be tested. And this morning, was revising with HuiRu-the-awesome-econ-study-buddy! We were like testing each other! And what we tested each other, EVERYTHING AMAZINGLY CAME OUT! And I was able to answer all of them! Thank God for sustance!

All was well and awesome until chinese. Have to write this 500 word compo reflection thingy on not bringing textbook. Like seriously, I don't know why the teacher is like that. I mean, he is like suddenly so strict on us. Okay fine, we're taking our Os this year, but come on, you all honestly writing this kind of reflection thingy works? Obviously not right. I used to respect huang lao shi a lot. That's why I was willing to stay back for more than an hour just to help him paste some chinese stuffs in the library despite everyone going home early after their O level LC in a celeberatory mood. But him doing this to us is really making me lose my respect for him more and more. And after chinese lesson, whenever I thought of me needing to write the compo, really made me angry and 不甘心. I would properly written out everything. But that only applies if I have enough time. But I don't think I'm gonna hand it up tomorrow. I'm gonna write out what I truly feel. I won't write those TYS answers. I'm serious.

Anyway, went out with Diana RuiLin Trixie & ZiLing. REEEEEEEEALLY miss hanging out with darling RL! (L) Remembered how we were buddies for almost everything from sec 1 to sec 2! And remmebered how she made boring lessons so interesting and fun for me! Awwww, I really love her! And love talking to Trixie today too! :D Had chocolate milk tea! :)

Sapphire Blue!

2011-07-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

Sup. Life have really been up and down for me recently. So many issues. How to be a better and nicer person when all around me are just... Insensitive people I would say. It's hard being faultless and blameless.

Anyway, found a new love recently. Think I've gotten over SHINee. Can't really stand their new hairstyles man. x.x I've done all my homework during the weekend so much so that I didn't had extra time to watch videos or dramas! If homework is really gonna take away my video time, I'll have no life and whole day its just studying and more studying (or homeworking I would say)! What crap do teachers always say, "Oh, it is really important having a balanced lifestyle! That's why even when you play, you must not forget to study!" Please lah, look at all the homework you all gave us. Cannot even squeeze out time for leisure can. Irritated.

Love this song :)

Take a chance

2011-07-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

I realised that I've actually a very limited engery span. Was laughing crazily during recess so I was like super quiet during econs lesson after recess. So I guess laughing consumes quite a lot of engery huh?

Oh ya, and today, mummy told me that while I was sleeping last night, I was sleep talking. And what I said was "I don't want to study!" And she told me afterwards "aiyo, even in sleep also dont want study. really dont know what to do with you" And I was ROFLing the whole time she told me the little story.

Since my attention span is really short and my motivation doesnt last, but I still wanna give it one more try. Gonna start doing my homework now. Well, okay it's so late already. Shall try the resolution tomorrow :P

Think this is really cool

So I guess we're back to square one?

2011-07-15T22:17:00.000+08:00

Facebook is really so depressing sometimes. I'll randomly click on someone's profile, usually people that I used to be close to and from their recent photos, see how well they've been. Make me think of how we drifted, how we're not talking anymore. Maybe we all weren't really good friends in the first place but merely acquaintance and I was the foolish one who all the while one-sidely felt that we all were really good friends that could talk about anything under the sun. So I guess maybe I was wrong.

I realised that even if I don't cry in front of people easily, I'm still a very sentimental person. I didn't cry during the MTDC graduation concert, when the syf result was announced and others despite me feeling sad also. Don't even think anyone in school saw me cry before. But isn't the feeling of not being able to cry worse? So seeing all of us not as close as before, makes me really sad. Who can I tell everything to? I can't even tell the closest person to me everything. And then I keep everything myself, suffocating. Horrible feeling.

Mixed feelings

2011-07-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

Ever marvelled at the way things work? And despite the way the earth spins we were able to meet each other? I wowed at the fact that our ear is an organ even more special than you thought. The ear is the anatomical organ that detects sound. It not only acts as a receiver for sound, but also plays a major role in the sense of balance and body position.

Close your eyes, and not see. Stop breathing, and not smell. Stop eating, and not taste. Stop moving, and not touch. But you cannot never not hear even if you shut your ears. Special huh?

Something about these few days. A confession, it's really not easy to be a godly Christian. It's difficult to be a good testimony for Christ. It's even more challenging to not get angry so easily, considering my temperament. It's been really demoralizing the fact I keep making mistakes I try not to make. It's harder than I thought. But I've been encouraged but one of the RPGs and I'm all better already.

I've not recovered from my sore throat since ASG and I still miss ASG and it's finale. Replay those moments for a while. And flash back to the present. Time to do my homework and revise amaths.

I don't see a point in making you my priority when you only treat me as your alternative; your backup tower.

Butter fingers

2011-07-05T21:31:00.000+08:00

Hello. I realised I've been really lazy to post nowadays. Since I do most of the thinking durng bus rides and at school but I tend to forgot my thoughts when I'm at home facing the computer having the screen tuned to http://www.blogger.com/. Well, I can't really be blamed rightt? :) Cause I'm well known for short term memory and I can forget a person's answer and ask a question the second time in a matter of few seconds. :B

Currently, post-camp/retreat I've been trying to do my QTs on the bus and try to memorise the verse if it's kinda short enough. And then I'll try review it again at night before I go to bed. Well I kinda figured out that it's bad enough that I'm not living a very godly live and it'd be worse if I stumble the faith of the younger ones. So I've decided to start doing QT everyday. And try to obey my parents, help them take stuffs, do this and that even if I really don't feel like doing it or I'm really tired max. That's probably the only way that'll help me keep close to God. Everything starts small, and it starts from the heart. So hopefully the inside will help change the outside as time goes by. Pray that I won't backslide and be a bad testimony for Christ.

---

If you guys ever noticed, my blog title has seldom got a relationship with what I'm going to write. That's mainly because, usually the title is just a summary of the day or maybe some words I wanna say to anyone or maybe just a thought that was able to linger on my mind till now. Well just a small HuiEn fact I guess.

So anyway, the last thing I'm gonna type about. I forgot to bring PE attire for 2 consecutive weeks and had to exchange attires with Diana, week 1, she was like bai-kah-ish so she didn't really needed a PE attire. Week 2 which was this week, I swapped with Cheryl. She was blur enough to thought that there was PE so both of us exchanged attires and I saved her from detention, she saved me from mr lim's suans. Thank God for all these people. God works in a mysterious but perfect way.

A to the S to the E - A - N!

2011-07-02T21:33:00.001+08:00

Thank God for a rather smooth ASG performance! Everything was too awesome to be put into words. The finale performance totally made the whole ASG experience worth it. And because most of the sec 3 decided to wait for the last bus home, the wait was totally worth it cause we took TRUCKLOADS of photos! ;D Uploaded some of the nicer ones. I wasn't smiling properly yesterday. Think cause I had not enough rest and face was distaughted x.x

SUPER COOL DANCE INSTRUCTOR!

2/2 CHOIR MEMBERS UNITE! :D

SEC 3s UNITE! ♥

EVERYONE FROM THE ONE WORLD CAST ;D

2011-06-30T22:15:00.001+08:00

Social studies project reflections

In my personal opinion about the reason behind conflicts being so widespread in our present world is mainly because of people's self-centeredness and their constant unyielding concern for self-gain. Especially in this really intense competitive world. People are so caught up with this fast-paced world and their own monetary gains that even the littlest matter can trigger a spark and may later have the flame spread like wild fire that cannot be put out. Thus, I feel that the root of the problem concerning the countless conflicts among everyone in the world today is due to selfishness. And sadly, no one really bothers to bring up this issue as everyone is busy thinking ways of how to be more wealthy or how to make their life better et ceta.

As far as the government is concerned, I believe that they are really doing their best to prevent all these conflicts and arguments as it is really important to keep peace in the country for the country to prosper. But I feel that the government can only prevent all these conflicts up till a certain extent only because ultimately, it is really up to our temperament, principals and upbringing that really prevents all sort of arguments.

Our temperament prevents us from getting angry easily, our principals helps us know what we ought to do and ought not to do and our upbringing keeps our behavior in check. Children can be taught since young to not be selfish and spare a thought for others. This way, many unnecessary conflicts all around us could be avoided.

This project has taught me how important peace was for a country, especially a multi-racial country like us, Singapore. And that we all should do our part in maintaining the peace in Singapore. We should have mutual respect for each other, accepting each other's differences.

Lastly, this project has once again emphasize the importance of group work. It was almost impossible to do the project as there was a lot of work to be done and it had to be split up so that we can all work efficiently to complete the project together.

Camp was fruitful

2011-06-25T13:29:00.000+08:00

I may have been really unproductive this whole holidays without me doing any single homework, but the vbs and teenz camp retreat totally made my holiday so worth it. The messaged by Pastor Quek was really good and I wasn't sleepy in any one of them xD

Honestly man, I say that I have not memorised so many verses in my whole life before! I memorised like about 5-6 verses in one day! And I can proudly say I still remember like about 4 of them till now! :')

Now back to the real world. I honestly have not touched any homework and when I see those ws, I was like what on earth is modulus function??? Totally blank. So I don't think I can touch my homework today.

Half of June is gone! D:

2011-06-13T13:27:00.000+08:00

Hello! :) It's 13 June today already and I've not started on most of my holiday assignments. Oh whatever lah, shall try complete it this week. I realised that I have not posted a single post in June. Fail. LOL. So today shall be my first :)

Okay, holidays is reeeeeeeally packed for me. D: First week: All got eaten up by ASG + eclat practices + eclat performance. Second week: Service for the Lord, had Vacation Bible Study. This whole week is my ONLY free week man :/ Sian to the max.

Shall blab a bit about VBS. :) Totally love VBS man. Met this suuuuuper duper uber cute kid called Joshua. HAHAHAH! Me and evan agree that when Joshua grows up he's gonna be TOTALLY HANDSOME MAX! :D Now you can see that he's already handsome!

3 days just came and go like that. Still miss VBS :/

Ern-wei was so sweet to take my place of being wrapped by toilet paper :P

Carmen, me, Jolene. Ain't Carmen pretty? She has double layer of long eyelashes x.x

Can't stop saying how cute Joshua is. That was the last pic we took together in VBS

Went ice-skating after VBS with the '97 and '98. Urgh, felt so old :/ Somehow felt that I had to take care of everyone since I'm the only sec 3 and the rest are sec 2&1

This was the first shot Joshua took with any helpers I'm positive! :D

And I had the honour for being the first! :B

Before saying goodbye to Joshua, he was sweet enough to give me a goodbye kiss and a hug xD I'll totally miss him D: But I'll go for VBS next year and see him again! <3

Oh hello there, think we've met before!

2011-05-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was not very awesome in an awesome way. It was stupid elearning day and we got to go to school for eclat practices. So dumb. Of all days, WHY ELEARNING?! Don't they know that we'll lose our pensive mood for homework by the time we come home from the practice due to tiredness and then we won't be able to do our work well? By the way, as I was typing all the above, I realised that my typing is very slow now. WHY?!?!?! :O GASP. I think cause I've been watching dramas/shows/videos too much that I have not been really practising typing. And I'm also blogging so little nowadays right? Well yes, I can still type without looking at the keyboard but still, I'm like SOOOOOOOO slow!!! I can hear my brother typing his keyboard while playing! It's like what, I think 3 times faster than me can?! FAIL. I'm so sad now :(

Okay, maybe not. I feel hungry again. Anyway what happened yesterday was that I went out with katz to clementi mall and hanged out there from like after practice which was about 1 to 5! HAHAHA! Awesome max! We literally explored the whole mall (due to my request cause I've never really seen the whole mall before :P ) and then we took time and went in to stores like paper market, minitoons, pop whatnot. :D Well we did really went every level and walked everywhere, well except the last floor which I heard there was a library. And yep, if you go clementi mall but never drink koi, it's equivalent to not going clementi mall at all! :D So of course we had to make a small trip there!

Don't know why but I was feeling kind so I decided to buy back koi for brother. And wow, so much for being kind. When I went home and started doing my elearning homework after overcoming a truckload of sian-ness, I asked him chem questions and he all replied me with a "I don't know". HELLO! HOW CAN AN EVERY-TIME-A1-CHEM STUDENT DON'T KNOW?! Seriously, you just didn't want to help me cause you were busy playing maplestory. Like come on lah, will it hurt to to just help me?! I took the trouble to buy home koi for you okay! Urgh. Whatever, I'll let it pass.

So then because I had a selfish brother, I ended up doing elearning until 1+ am and slept at 2+ am. But I loved the way I did elearning though :) Well since I can't be bothered with quality answers cause it was already so late when I started, I googled about half the chem answers and the found the rest in the ppt slides given. As for chum, I took like 10 different people's answers (well mainly the essence of their answers) from different class and edited it to my style and submitted it. HAHA (Y) Awesome max.

Brother is going shanghai tomorrow to teach kids english through chinese for his cip hours. I asked him of all people, why get you all teach? And he said cause they're pathetic little kids. So mean!!

Okay, that's all. I'm tired of typing. Bye :)

Test test test!

2011-05-28T21:20:00.001+08:00

Trying out this new app!

Circles.

2011-05-17T19:42:00.001+08:00

WOW I've been a reeeeeeeeeally lazy blogger ever since MYE ended. I've not posted in 92384792 days :P TEEHEE ^^ Have been rather addicted to SHINee x.x And I mean SHINee only, not Kpop yeah :) Eveyone's saying I'm listening to Kpop but no! The fact is I only love watching how funny/cute/charming SHINee are in their videos. Psst, sorry but excluding Minho. I can't find his beauty spot. Don't find him handsome cute or charismatic anywhere, anyhow. And I only watch their videos and listen to some of their songs, not other korean artists. Unlike Taiwan pop where I listen to a rather wide spread of artists :) So don't worry, I'm not into Kpop, I'm still a Taiwan-music-listener :D And I still love lzx. :)

So I started off liking SHINee's videos cause I saw how crazy Farha was over the SHINee's Hello Baby so I decieded to try watching it since there's not much nice Taiwan shows out there anymore/recently. And I surprisingly managed to finish the whole show in 2 days. Then I heard about Tae-hee, Hye-Kyo, Ji-hyum (THJ) starring Tae, so I decieded to watch it also. The sitcom was totally sweetness to the max! xD And that was where I found Tae attractive.

Then I started YouTube-ing... :)

This was where I found sica pretty ^^

Tae dancing genie so cutely :P

Minho - Yuri >YOOGUEN!! LOL
Taemin - Yoona >Cute cpl
Onew - Tiffany >Smart cpl
Key - Sooyoung >Perfect cpl
Jonghyun - Jessica >Hot cpl
Totally loved the way how the merged and danced together xD

And I saw this comment "Taemin is the only one who isn't wearing long socks is bcoz he has nothing to be ashamed about."
HAHA! TOTALLY! xD

Randomly clicked and saw this! Totally brought back sec 2's memories! :D Still remember the guys in our class doing their fail dance :P

And so one day I was told that jjong is left-handed. Then I went to search some Hello Baby videos cause he did some writing in there. But he was using his right hand to write! :O Then one or two days later I was watching Maknae Rebellion and jjong mentioned that he is a left-hander :O I was thinking maybe his parents made him write with his right hand since young cause they didn't like them holding his pen with his left hand. Well that happened to Gina that's why she's right-handed now. But whatever the case, him being a left-hander only makes him even more attractive :) And so I was reeeeeeally curious and search videos of him writing. And this was what I found

Notice he wrote/drew using both hand! xD THE MOST SPECIAL CAN!! ^^ Seriously, more attractive than left-handers xD

Cheerios! :P HEH HEH HEH. Watching their Yunhanam now :)

Bye :)

It resumes again.

2011-05-02T12:09:00.000+08:00

Supposed to wake up at 7 but ended up waking up at 11:11. So fail. Now no mood study already. What can I say? Die lor.

Dilemma.

2011-04-30T13:30:00.000+08:00

"If success is the mother of all failure, then how many mothers are you gonna have??" Someone told me that yesterday. And guess what. Today's tuition hong lao shi made me write my first 议论文, and the title of it is "失败是成功之母" LOL. Instantly made me think of that phrase. HAHAHA, it's super funny. But I guess when you use it on someone it's kinda hurtful. NEVER MIND. My point was. 也太巧乐吧! Today's compo writing. LOL.

Anyway, I'm still not sure if I should stay back tomorrow to help to publicise for VBS... Most probably not.

But it's bothering me.

Don't play play. I'm good at guessing.

2011-04-29T23:36:00.000+08:00

Finally watched finish Endless Love, the Taiwan version. LOL. Super sad. It's like every episode, every parts uploaded on YouTube, all sad. Every part never fail to either make me teared or made my heart pain. Like literally. When the plot gets too sad, my pain will pain 起来, I'm serious! LOL. Okay, maybe I'm just too into the drama (OMG, drama geek much? D:) or I'm too emotional (not good either.). Honestly, I've watched so many dramas, but this is the first drama that was able to make me tear without luozhixiang acting/starring in it. This shows it's a good drama ^^

Next, just a random thought. I feel that my guessing skills are AWESOMEZ. I can look at a person's face and know what he does/uses/character. Well, not so accurate about what the person is thinking part. Life would be kinda boring if I knew what other people think. But yeah, it's like 90% always correct. (Y)

Lastly, I think we've drifted apart..? You no longer make the effort to talk to me. And every time me taking the initiative is really tiring and you make me feel that I'm the on clinging on to this friendship. Since that's the case, I guess I won't take the first step and talk to you anymore. Now YOU are gonna talk to me first. And YOU are gonna tell me instead of me telling you first.

---

Today's English was horrible. Had a really, really BAD headache that lasted me the WHOLE examination and I had trouble concentrating. Even when I stood up to walk, I was a little dizzy. Up till tonight still vision a tiny weeny bit unclear. But I tried my best and used my senior's advice of describing every single little detail as possible :) Hope I'll score decently... OH! And you know what?! The English paper 2 passages were like ALL CHINA RELATED and everyone's saying that mdm soh contributed to finding the passages for the paper. LOL. Joke. But really, she's a nice person. Can joke with her, but just don't do things to make her be angry at us. It's not worth it for the both parties.

Chinese tuition resuming tomorrow, finally after syf. I like my tuition teacher, but I don't see how does chinese tuition help me at all since what I'll ever do there is xi zi, ting xie, compo writing occassionally and some really easy compre I guess she uses express chinese. Not the HCL ones. So I don't really see my chinese improving, neither do I see it deproving when I paused it for syf. But mummy said that all for the sake of my laziness, she thinks thta at least if I go for this tuition, I would be able to practice writing chinese once a week. Well, that's kinda true since I can't get myself to do wu lao shi's homework. But then again, I don't think after so long, I'll be able to wake up early tomorrow.

I promised him I'll study chem tomorrow :)

Bye!

Realise the beauty of a person.

2011-04-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

My 365th post! YAY! xD HEHEHE ^^ Today was happy! Went to imm with yuanshan and diana to get jeidy's belated present :P Then talked a lot again. You know what, I realised that actually last minute unplanned decisions are more pleasant than pre-planned decisions. I guess it's probably cause there's more freedon of choice for the former one. Whereas when things don't go out as planned for the latter, people get disappointed and it more "dead" in that sense where you gotta follow everything as planned.

Today I was thinking that actually 3P has all very nice teachers. Firstly, let's talk about our cm. She is a very nice person actually. Well, let's not see the side of her where she has sudden instantaneous mood swings. But other than that, she's a really supportive teacher that makes sure everyone in the class is "loved" and everyone is healthy in mind and body. She is also enthusiastic about the class' bonding. Always suggesting class outings.

Next, let's move on to one of the very few coolest teachers that you'll ever see. Our elementary maths teacher. Now I really think he is the coolest teacher I've ever known that has taught me. He's accent is really funny, but in a good way. Our whole class love him and his sense of humour plus his character. Even when he scolds us, he'll post an apology on facebook saying he's sorry for scolding us or something and encourage us to not give up and keep our work consistent. And he'll post some random stuffs on facebook once in awhile and everyone will start liking it. He's one-of-a-kind that is just so unique he has a good rapport with our class.

Lastly, I'm tired so I shall speak about the last teacher. Let's talk about our combined humanities teacher. Well, although we all don't really like her method of teacher and the way she delievers information to us, you really can't deny that she is a very nice person. She's cheerful and cute. Really, I find her cute. Especially her DENG DENG DENGGGG! Hehehe :P

So actually 3P does have good teachers that cares for us. It's just that porbably we just dislike the way the teacher teaches us because we feel that we can't learn anything from them. So we'll start to dislike them. But time can tell. Honestly, I feel that wu lao shi (yes I'm making myself call her that now) is a really nice teacher. She's really motherly. Well, maybe she can't teach our class, but she's certainly a very nice and caring teacher.

Well I guess that's all for today :)

Greatest man in history, named Jesus, had no servants, yet they called him Master. Had no degree, yet they called him Teacher. Had no medicines, yet they called him Healer. He had no army, yet kings feared Him. He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him. He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

It's all coming too fast lah!

2011-04-22T10:27:00.000+08:00

I'm so way behind time and plan! Planned to touch a little of my homework last night but didn't do anything. GOSH. Let's see.. I've got:
- 2 Amaths mock papers. Addition of other 2 ws if I was strict on myself
- 3 Chem ws + 1 mock paper
- 1 Emaths mock paper. Addition of other 3 ws if I was strict again.

SO MANY. HOW TO START. WHERE TO START. I JUST CAN'T START.
Why does the school likes to do this to us. Aren't our load bad enough? Still put the MYE period so close when we've not even finish covering our syllabus yet! WHAT THE HECK. Then no time for revision like that you know! I still got Bio haven't start. Need to catch up on blood transport in human. Missed that important lesson on Thursday due to syf and feel like I've not completely understand the topic yet. SHIT. DIE. CRAP. I already feel so screwed and ruined for the rest of my life cause I can picture in my mind me flunking OLevels. But honestly, I really don't have the same level of concentration and focus in school, at home.

Shall try to attempt my questions now. Bye

What happened? Why it stopped?

2011-04-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

See you online almost everyday but we've not talked at all since January.

Today was rainy.

I'm still so tired.

2011-04-17T20:55:00.002+08:00

Tired of everything. Can't seem to touch my homework you know.

Not till now did I realise

2011-04-16T19:42:00.000+08:00

I read your text with a little tear in my eyes. Well I know you do have your difficulties and we cannot have a normal friendship in front of other people because others will go off saying a lot of stuffs that will not only affect you but me too. Gossips will be hard to clear up. We can't talk to each other face-to-face. Not even a hi or exchange a smile. Well to be honest, there was a period of time I thought you didn't care anymore but now I know you do. And I guess that's enough for me :) But I just want you to know I don't blame you, so don't feel regretful. Just thankful for the call I recieved that day.

---

Didn't do anything productive today. HAHAHA die. Need to clear up amaths first. Then try to do English tomorrow and worse come to worst I'll chiong English during SH tomorrow. One thing I'll learn about myself today is that I'm lazy and lack self-discipline so much I think I'm incurable and I can go bang my head in the wall. First, I wanted to do my maths in the morning, then I dragged telling myself I'll do it after lunch. I still didn't touch them after lunch and dragged saying that I'll do it after dinner. But looks like I'm still not doing it yet :/

Where has my studious/homework mood went to?? I'm so screwed. Like that how to score for MYE??? Less than two more weeks to MYE leh! OHMYGOSH. I'm such a GONER.

Bye :/

Happy Ending.

2011-04-15T16:57:00.002+08:00

Went to Clementi Mall with brother cheryl and kat. Had long john's silver and koi with brother's treat :)

100% hazelnut milk tea! ^^

Gonna do my amaths now :)

Bye

GOLD.

2011-04-14T19:51:00.001+08:00

Sorry for not posting the last two days. Was busy preparing for syf.

Ya, everyone cried upon hearing the results. Tears of sadness. I felt that it was easy for the juniors to just cry but the seniors had to control their emotions and be strong to comfort the rest. I guess that's what's about being a good senior. You got to control your emotions and be stronger to comfort the rest because if you topple, the others may just follow and collapse too. They're just like our foundation to support us.

To my other non-choir friends: Sorry for not reply your smses etc yah, cause I really can't bring myself to tell you all the results.

But just wanna say to all the choir mates: I know we can't help in not feeling sad, I know we can't help in not feeling disappointed and neither can it be helped in stopping those tears rolling down. But at the end of the day, it's just an award. So once the tears dries, let's all get over it and move on for more important & greater things awaiting us. Because the strong ones are those who do their best, but the stronger ones are those who fall but stand up and come back even stronger than before, going the extra mile to make sure they are much better than before.

THREEEEE MORE DAYS! :O

2011-04-11T20:31:00.000+08:00

Had been listening to all of JJ's old + latest songs last night with my mum. HAHAH YEAH, SHE'S COOL. :B

简简单单
原来
记得
杀手
江南
一千年以后
编号 89757
木乃伊
心墙

Today was... LOL. No words to describe. But I've got something to say to ALL of my friends, brothers, sisters, cousin, basically, all my sworns & friends. I'm honestly not a good

Got this song stuck in my head since morning.

等不到天黑煙火不會太完美
回憶燒成灰還是等不到結尾
她曾說的無所謂我怕一天一天被摧毀
等不到天黑不敢凋謝的花蕾
綠葉在跟隨放開刺痛的滋味
今後不再怕天明我想只是害怕清醒

Like that phrase.

"If someone asks me what kind of music do I hope to create, my answer will be this - 'I hope to write a type of song; for example, in the middle of the night a girl walks into a 24-hour convenient store. She's feeling down after ending a relationship, and she hears a song playing over the radio that coincidentally describes what she's feeling which makes her feel like she's not the only lonely one, that someone heard her inner voice. That's the type of music I want to write.'" -JJ Lin

Bye!

Let's do it, right.

2011-04-10T20:44:00.000+08:00

Today was really warm. Both ways. I felt that you still cared about me despite everything that has happened. Thank you :)

Was hearing this for the second time but not looking at the MV. Felt like crying cause it was really touching by listening to the lyrics alone. The first time watching it I only concentrated on how handsome he was :P But anyway, it's so heartwarming :)

Thought of the night:

BYE!

Sharing Session!

2011-04-09T20:10:00.000+08:00

Been YouTubing and found this cover artist. (Is that how you call them?) He is Jason Chen. HAHAHA find him awesome ;D

Oh I really love this cover! :) Other english cover kinda sucked :P

Some say its not over til its over
But I guess its really over now.
Theres something I gotta say before I let you go
Here it goes

Every time he breaks your heart
You would hit me up and say
That Im the only man who knows how to treat you right
And so I comfort you but right right right away
You go back to him and make the same damn mistakes
Girl I was always there to care for you when you were down
Dont say that friends are all that we are ever gonna be
Cut out the drama
Come to me, I know you wanna
Girl I know thats what we both dream of

Baby, please dont take his hand and leave me here
Cause you should be my lady, come with me and wipe away those tears
Once the music ends you will take a vow to be with him forever
But you know Im the man who you want to be with for the rest of your life
Dont put on that wedding dress
Girl dont put on that wedding dress
(Its not me next you)
Dont put on that wedding dress, oh no

Snappin out this misery
Depression this aint me
But I always turn around
180 degrees

You got control of me
And I, I cant explain
Somebody call 911 Emergency
Before I go insane

Since youve moved on
You took a piece of me give it back
So much pain in my chest
Blacking out, heart attack

It's too late, Im dancing this dance alone

Baby
Can't believe that you are not with me
'Cause you should be my lady
All I want is to set your heart free
But if you believe that you belong with him
Promise me, you wont let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you
In that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress

Single life aint used to this
How does one live like this?
Wake up alone, with nothing but pictures of me and you
Memories were better when I, I was with you
Now I just sit here as I cry, cry over you
You moved on with your life, and now in love with another guy
I couldve been the one, but I gotta wait, should you be mine
Im just a lover, just waitin for his other
Dont care how long Ill love you forever

Baby, please dont leave so suddenly from me
You used to be my lady, now Im hopin we just remain friends
But always remember that baby you are always beating fast inside of my heart girl
And always know that Im still here, waiting for you
And that day to finally arrive
When youre in that wedding dress dress
Girl, when youre in that wedding dress dress
Wedding dress dress
I promised in your wedding dress
Oh no

And I see you with your man and it's hard to understand
If we belong, if I did you wrong, where we even began
We would always fuss and fight and it seems nothing was right
But I loved you girl and you were my world but you'd never trust this guy
'Cause the things I do when I'm on the stage, they say I'm a superstar
You couldn't understand all the female fans and then we grew apart
And I just don't get when you're acting like some other person
But I try my best to hold on at the times when it ain't working
And everytime that you say it's over it breaks my heart and I don't know why
'Cause you've done it a lot of times in the past but I get back up and try
You said we could work it out, how could you hurt me now
And you moved on to the next, I'm left with an imperfect smile

But if you believe that you belong with him
Promise me, you wont let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you
In that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress
See you in that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress

Can't find the words to say to you
But all I wanna say is I do
I just want you in my life
Baby, come back be my wife
Cant endure the pain no more
CPR, need surgery
Just cant live another day without you in mind
Its just too difficult, I want you back, I need your love back in my life
Whoa

Once the music ends, Ill be saying my goodbye to you forever
And just know even though our love didnt work out, I am still here for you
Now youre in your wedding dress
Girl now youre in your wedding dress
(Shouldve been me, shouldve been me)
Oh youre wearing that wedding dress, oh no

---

Oh oh! And this one!

Ahh, forget it, I'll just emblem all those that I watched and liked. I'm running out of comments! :P

Okay I'm done. ;D

Really, start the coutdown.

2011-04-08T18:49:00.000+08:00

Woke up with a little sore in the throat. First thought of the day: Crap. How come like that?? Took peipagou and two bananas cause I didn't feel like swallowing bread. Felt really really tired cause I haven't been sleeping at 10 sharp. Had usual morning rowtionals and I felt my voice wasn't right. Went to class and had boring lesson. Actually I feel that it's not boring but more of me and my tiredness. We had listening compre during chinese that was going to be counted in our SA1. -sneezed 2 times while typing the previous sentence. I feel sick.- I'm so going to sleep early tonight. I can't remember any homework we're given except english which I also forgotten what we were supposed to do for it.

Choir. Had combined sectionals with Altos with Mr Foong. At one point of it while standing I felt like collapsing. Then when he left SLs were practising with the sop 1s. So I stoned cause I was really tired max. Then Jing Hui talked to the choir. She did a visualisation with us. There were two senarios. The first was us getting a GwH and the other was us getting gold. Most of the girls cried.

Well I tried to hold my tear. I just feel that now it not the time to cry YET. It's only six more days to syf. Like what I've said, "Fight fatigue, keep the faith. Hang in there, 6 more days. Let's do it." That's really all what we've got to do for SYF. This is the first and last SYF that I'm participating. I wanna make it special. I wanna make it memory-worth. I wanna create a legacy, together with the SYF team. I wanna get a Gold with Honours. It's not totally impossible. I know it's that tiny hope that keeps us moving. Grab it. The visualisation was just a wake up call, like what Reine said. Let's do it, let's really put our all for that goal.

Bye.

Today is so screwed.

2011-04-06T21:51:00.000+08:00

I really hate today. It's so screwed that I feel like shutting myself from the world and not talk.

Bye.

More motivated.

2011-04-05T21:16:00.000+08:00

Got back my Bio and Econs. My bio moved from a C6 to a B3 and my Econs moved from a C6 to a B4. This really proves a lot to me that with hard work I can actually achieve results. So because of that, I plan to aim for better marks for my mid years.
English - B3/4
HCL - B3
EMaths - A2
AMaths - B3
CHUM - A2/B3
Chemistry - B4
Biology - A1/2
Economy - B3/4

I'll try to aim and work for it! :D

It's 8 days to syf from tomorrow. We've got to hang in there. Cause I was told the last week before syf is when everyone gets tired and sian of the songs + trainings. It's the final lap. It's the test of our mental strength & perseverance I guess..? I feel very tired of all those training and homework + studies and to add my daily devotion to God clump together. Well althought it's not to the extend of me feeling like dying, but I can feel the drag. I still need to study for my Mid Years. Gotta chiong after SYF! :/ Then I'll start to fool around after the Mid Years again :) And get serious nearing my Chinese Os.

Bye!
Today was in a way sad cause I feel that you didn't want to talk to me anymore :/

I'm gonna wanish from AMaths class.

2011-04-04T20:44:00.001+08:00

Today's retest: bad. All the questions that I didn't know how to do totalled up to 17 marks when the passing mark was 17.5 great. I'm sure to fail this test and get kicked out of mrs philip class.

Today was tiring.

Bye.

Study study study. Mug mug mug.

2011-04-03T19:03:00.001+08:00

Okay, I shall officially start mugging amaths after this post.

Morning. Almost got a shock of my life. But I thank God for seeing me through it. I felt more comforted after smsing clara. Still, can't help but feel worrying for Tuesday, if not Monday. I'll pray for sustanance.

Afternoon. Went to alter the choir costume.

Evening. Had cover it live with half the class and half the time I was like zoning out cause I couldn't understand what they were saying and probably my presence there didn't made any difference. Apparently my prank for april's fool didn't work very well but oh well. My friend's response was super epic.

Now. Okay, I guess that's all. Gonna study for amaths now.

Bye!

-WTF. WHATS MY FATHER FREAKING PROBLEM LAH. I GOT 30/40 FOR EMATHS HE HAD THE CHEEK TO SCOLD ME. 2nd IN CLASS OKAY. STILL COME PINCH ME UNTIL ORH CHEH. WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM LAH.-

I love Singapore.

2011-04-02T21:51:00.001+08:00

NOT. Okay, maybe yeah, but so a lot. Today was fun.

Kthnxbai.

April's Fool.

2011-04-01T21:09:00.002+08:00

Managed to fool a lot of people. HAHA. okay. sleeping early and seeing CAT HIGH GUYS TOMORROW.

Bye!

How I dislike people replying with one word.

2011-03-31T21:14:00.002+08:00

Well this isn't really against anyone but just a random thought I got. Don't you think it's really its annoying in most situations? I mean like if you really don't wanna talk, can't you nicely excuse yourself by saying that you're busy or something? One word reply never mind, some people still give one letter reply. K. Like excuse me, when was I ever talking about Potassium here?? I think K is very irritating even though the people doesn't mean it. The letter K simply Kills the conversation. The letter-reply K annoys me the most to be honest. Because when the person say K then you like don't know what to reply after that. So the conversation ends.

Well okay, say, the person don't know what to reply, so reply K, and maybe the person was trying to extend the conversation, waiting for you to come up with a new topic to chat. But then again, think. If the person was trying to extend the conversation, he would come up with a new topic right? And say if he doesn't know what topic to come up with, he would at least make an effort to HAHA back or like ohhh okay. Not a single letter reply K right? Right. I make so much sense. LOL. -BHB-ness runing the moment of chimology-

So all in all, afterall, that's where you've got to accept the fact that you and the person don't click so well afterall. Then let's just remain normal friends till we can find a topic to chat on. If not, let's just go our seperate ways since we don't click at all.

Well, I heard that cause I tweeted a tweet on that thought, many people mistaken that I've had fallen out with MingSiew/YuanShan/ZiYan. LOL. NO LUH! PEOPLE, DON'T THINK TOO MUCH OKAY! I'm perfectly fine. It's just some such random thoughts that'ld pass through my when I'm day dreaming/zoning out/stoning on the bus or while doing homework halfway where I'll be stuck at a certain question and my mind begins to wonder, or simply just in front of the comp when I have no sites to visit.

---

Realise this? I'm fourteen this year. It's fourteen days to SYF. SYF is on fourteen of the fourth month. And our choir number is fourty-four. WOW. HAHAHA. Must love the number four lah.

Went to buy the April babies' presents and currently, my wallet has a BIG HOLE. So, as for now, under my table, has like 3-4 presents waiting to give away. LOL. It's good to buy early, like maybe a week or so. It makes you broke earlier, so you'll recover by the time the birthday comes. You'll not be so stressed up on what to buy. You know that everything is done, and all you need to do is just to wait for the day.

Anyway, tomorrow is the First of April! Yep, it's Aprils' Fool! HAHAHA! Gonna prank people again! xD One of the only ways to prank girls is to prank them with stuffs very emotional like telling them that you're migrating soon. Well, this trick may not work again, so I gotta think of something better if I've used this last year on friends like Farha WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVED. The 90% confirm work prank on guys is to fake a confession to them! So far, it actually do work! I've not failed before, but I believe this year, not everyone will fall for this anymore Dx AWWWWHH, Aprils' Fool is gonna be super boring if I don't manage to prank at least three people :/ I'll try to prank 5 people tomorrow! xD
Bye!

Time passes so fast.

2011-03-30T21:24:00.000+08:00

So one day I was chionging my chem WS and I really need help but apparently I couldn't find anyone. So in my pekcek-ness, I posted on my facebook wall saying "Why no Chem pros online?? x.x" and I got these replies

HAHA, I know, I've got very sweet friends :) Honestly quite shocked that Russell would reply :P

Sooo... Back to today :) Was on 175 busing home while I got bored. So I decided to go read up on dimples cause I heard that Yuan Shan said that dimples is a form of disformity in the face muscles. And look what I've found! Wiki said that single dimple is a rare form! And I went to another website saying that the single dimples triat can be endearing. Well I didn't know that single dimple are better than double dimples! :P Apparently they are more dear/beloved according to the dictionary on what does endearing means. LOL.

And finally... We got to see what does our new costume look like. Honestly, if you look at the first picture below, it looks very chinese-like and its super long and its just plain hideous and horrible. But after I tried it on, maybe it isn't so bad. But I still really prefer the old choir costume by a lot more. And seriously, I think they over measured for me cause when I wear it, I can literally step on it even if I'm not walking. If I don't lift my dress, I won't be able to walk. Jodie got the same problem with me. While other people like Katherine and Nazira doesn't have much of a problem. Their dresses almost touch the floor but it's still managable for them. I think even if I wear the court shoes on, I'll still have quite a high chance on trip on my dress :/

So when I wore it... Look at how long the dress is!! x.x Well yeah, it's wearable, but again, as I've said before, the old costume is 1000x better!!

Yep that's all. Bye!