I've came so far.

It's 23rd June Samuel Theofie is going back. Bye cutie pie. See you next June God willing :( Still remember the time my brother went hooha over him. Like seriously. I've never ever seen this side of my brother before in my whole entre 15 years of life. Total shock. He just completely changed to another person or something because Samuel was too cute. And handsome. Hello pedo. You should get your hands on him. He's too young for you. Even though I dot really consider him thattt young.

Sigh. Just found out A LOT of people that I know and personally, quite close to left Singapore today. And Diana is down with a fever. Probably she misses me too much that she caught my fever via our SMSes :P hahah who am I kidding. I only texted her edterfat or so cause I was too busy with my t camps. Come to think of it, I do miss her. Hahaha but school's opening soon. Nothing to worry about. Good thing my missing only sets in about now. Think I'll die if I started missing her too early cause we won't be able to meet up anyway with my busy schedule.

On a side note, I think nick chou is really handsome. He would have made it big in Super Junior if he accepted SM's contract. But oh well, I guess him returning to his own country's market isn't a bad thing after all.

Coming back to my focus, I have this sudden surge of sinking emptiness. Everyone's leaving Singapore. Diana's down with a fever. Comm elections are tomorrow. I'm honestly quite relieved but yet rather not willing to part with the step down. One year. It just zoomed passed like that. When I ask myself, "What have I done for the Lord while being in teens comm the whole year?" I can frankly think of nothing much but only the desire to be a better Christian and not be a stumbling block to younger Christians. Which I deem to myself as an insufficient service for the Lord. I could have done more. But then again, I can't turn back time. One of the given cruel parts of reality. The inability to go back, but the one-way road to move on with life. Maybe that's why when man gets a second chance in life, it is that valuable. But still, I'm really grateful and truly honored and privileged that God has called me to be part of the comm. It has never really made me felt the urge before serving in comm. The urge to do the best for the Lord; all for His glory and only His glory alone. I haven't been a person that authorities would favor. Teachers, seniors, all think I don't have the capabilities to uphold responsibilities and to some extent, I was rather unpleasant to their eyes. I didn't want any commitments after sec1 because I had total zero confidence in myself. The Lord was gracious and he broke me down, helping me to see that I needed God confidence. Self confidence leaded me nowhere.

It's BFFL's birthday tomorrow and I didn't write him a card. What a horrible BFFL I am. Oh well, looks like I'll have to pass him his card the next Sunday.

Sigh. I'm still coughing. Likeanoldwoman. :( *coughcough coughcough* Wow. So much of thinking and typing my thoughts tonight. Remembered I tweeted something like "I don't feel like sleeping but I have nothing decent to do." Think this reflecting session where I was able to think about my life and type them down has somehow comforted me in a way or another.

Where I am now, it's all by God's grace!

Time to pray before I sleep!