Picture perfect.

Things don't always turn out the way you thought it would be. Reality is usually different from all the pictures you see on Facebook. People just do it for the sake of impression. They may actually not live that glamous and fabulous life that you actually thought they were. They may be even worse off than you. Emotionally. Simple example. Was scrolling through the Taiwan trip that me and Jingqiau both taken. Many people waaaaa nice senery, you guys go to a lot of places. But you never knew, for all those photos, we only had 10mins to take everything. Hardly even the time to walk. Running around, seeing a nice spot, take photo, and we went "Hurry hurry!", wanting to take as much photos as possible in the place that we were in. So you don't really have to feel depressed about seeing someone's photos on facebook and then compare it with your life and then think it's pathetic, at least what you think is, because it's always not the case. You never know if others may feel exactly how you feel towards you. You and your fabulous life and awesome friends. And then you know it's not really the case. And then the cycle repeats. Right?

Got back 2 of my tests. Two extremes. Though having the same thoughts about both. Econs was... I guess considered good in the test context? I mean considering the number of 1-2 marks Mr Chua awarded the class with. While I thank God for my marks, I still can't help thinking that it's not good enough.

Calculus test came back to my hands during maths. Was really disappointed that I got this kind of marks. Okay, maybe people think it's good enough that I passed, but it's one of the lower passing marks. All my friends got higher than me. It seems as though that they're all running ahead of me while I'm still slowly crawling, making slight improvement. It's just really discouraging sometimes that I actually bothered to study for this subject, and I spend hours on it at that. But still this kind of marks. And the paper was considered easy. To think I was still aiming for an A1. Pathetic.
And then Mrs Philip started her post-test talk again. It just brings me to tears hearing the tinge of sadness hidden in her voice. It happened too many times. The urge for my eyes to water. The disappointment. The tiredness of failing. The cycle that I just can't seem to get myself to break.

And then I got back my chem test too. It's the only test that I'm fairly satisfied with the results. Considering the fact that that I only studies for about an hour plus and still managed to get just a few marks lesser than the serious students that probably spent a few days on revision. And I only learnt metals on the morning of the test day itself. I can only thank God for these marks right. He helped me to revise and helped me to remember all those facts that I needed for the test. Without Him, I wouldn't have probably even passed.

Everyone got trolled. Liteterally trolled by Mr Chua during econs. Graded Assignment 7. Was so tired taking up tests for the past 2 consecutive days. And more than one tests per day furthermore. Felt so fed up that when we were getting ready for the test I inteneded to just submit a blank paper with my proud name on it. I was so close to doing that. Anyway I from previous graded assignments 1-6 I've scored marks that would suffice if this assignment was 0. They could at least pull up my overall marks to a 50%. LOLOL. But Mr Chua just trolled us like that. TROLOLOL. Felt so own by his Graded Assignment 7. Shall not spoil the surprise for the other class. Will post the content of it tomorrow. :) It was a really hard test. We all were told to tell the other class.

Feeling really useless right now.

NateRuby.Lockandkey.