Didn't really have a good week I would say cause it's only the second week of school and we're all so rushed for time to complete our projects. And it's not like we're given sufficient time to do our projects all together at once. Haven't been doing consistent QT this week too. So yeah...
Was late for YF again cause:
1. Forgot timing was 515 instead of the usual 530.
2. Stomach wasn't coordinating well with me.
3. Saw 176, 51, 30, 143 left right in front of me while I was across the road.
It was YF's 33rd anniversary and so it wasn't the usual YF that we had. At the end there was this photo slideshow to look back at the past year of YF. The happenings of 2013 in YF and all. And this thing struck me: Those who were in the photos in the start of the slideshow, I started not to see them appearing anymore towards the end of the slideshow. And I don't even see them around today even as I glanced around the sanctuary. Where have they gone to? And this set me pondering: Would I still be seated here again the same day next year to celebrate another year of God's providence for the YF on it's 34th anniversary?
隨著年齡夫人增長,回頭看便發現失去了些朋友,也發現失去了些自己。但微笑吧,因為現在的你懂得誰才是真正的朋友,自己也長大了。
I pray and hope that I would.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Friday, January 17, 2014
Two down, five more.
Been a really hectic and tough week even though it's just second week of school only. Week was filled with project work, tutorial, project work and more tutorials. My gosh. Apart from lesson time, we can hardly meet cause every group members are so busy but yet we're so pressed for time. Other than projects, we still have those tutorials to handle, preparing for the exams in end Feb. OH MY GOSH. So demanding.
So went to SPICE centre to download Realtimme and only the T17 guy was at the T21 one. My gosh I promise you the people at T21 SPICE centre already recognise me. Every time I went there for the past two weeks, they're reaction would be "Ey hi, 现在又有什么事?" The number of times I went to SPICE cause of burden acer... 去到跟那些员工都跟我很熟了._.
Alright fast forward to today (being Thursday). Finally wore the outer coat that I exchanged with Hannah on Saturday! She took my floral denim jacket in place. Aravin said I look especially thin today with the clothes I was wearing. Nope. I just hide my fats well. But Hannah's outer coat was a little too big for me.
No appetite at all for dinner. Finished about half of it and did econs project all the way from 9 till 12 in a mind block state. So means my brain was functioning 2 times slower. Felt so sorry when I had to get Gibson repeat his questions a few times cause my brain just couldn't process it as fast. But papa bought me macs for supper at 9+. Double cheese burger and TARO PIE. Yay!
Have been sleeping at 2 the whole week. -Looks at the time now- Sigh.
Alright bye.
So went to SPICE centre to download Realtimme and only the T17 guy was at the T21 one. My gosh I promise you the people at T21 SPICE centre already recognise me. Every time I went there for the past two weeks, they're reaction would be "Ey hi, 现在又有什么事?" The number of times I went to SPICE cause of burden acer... 去到跟那些员工都跟我很熟了._.
Alright fast forward to today (being Thursday). Finally wore the outer coat that I exchanged with Hannah on Saturday! She took my floral denim jacket in place. Aravin said I look especially thin today with the clothes I was wearing. Nope. I just hide my fats well. But Hannah's outer coat was a little too big for me.
No appetite at all for dinner. Finished about half of it and did econs project all the way from 9 till 12 in a mind block state. So means my brain was functioning 2 times slower. Felt so sorry when I had to get Gibson repeat his questions a few times cause my brain just couldn't process it as fast. But papa bought me macs for supper at 9+. Double cheese burger and TARO PIE. Yay!
Have been sleeping at 2 the whole week. -Looks at the time now- Sigh.
Alright bye.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Though I've been cheery
Just when I've decided to re-consecrate my life, start putting my life back together by starting regular QTs, then I was told that cause for the past half year attendance at YF was irregular so cannot renew membership. Path back to Christ just seems to be daunting. Punishment or time to think about my life. Feels as though a door is closed or as though I was denied. How can I not admit that it has affected me? Pride? And maybe a mix of fear as well. To lose my membership. Maybe it time to consider my use of time more seriously. Can't deny that I feel left out too. But oh well... at the end of the day I'm accountable to God rather than to man. And my journey back to Him plus to start growing again begins now.
Think I am a person who really doesn't think much on the surface. Not much thoughts to a lot of things that I do. But then there's still many things that goes on in my head and honestly you don't see me sharing my inner thoughts to people. I feel like cause I'm a really sensitive person and so when I'm upset, if I tell others about it, they'll brush it aside and go "aiya it's cause you're just sensitive" and sort of brush it off and then maybe leaving them the impression that I'm a really sensitive person so don't ever touch me emotionally. And then I'm afraid soon after they'll find me a burden and not wanna talk to me as how they usually do. Yep, being a burden to people, my greatest fear.
So as a result, I just sort of deal with my own feelings and emotions. Upset? Let time help me get over it. Swallow it. I don't really know how much or how serious it has to be so that I can share it with close friends and they'll think it's "normal". So in the end I just don't at all. And while I'm dealing with these stuffs on my own, I pretend like I'm fine. Maybe too fine. Do people take it for granted? Jokes they start making about me soon becomes more hurtful than funny. How serious must it be before I can consider it to be hurtful in normal people eyes? So I keep swallowing all these hurt while keep telling myself that they mean no harm and it was all for fun & laughter or they are still young and insensitive with their words. Sometimes although outwardly I smile, inwardly I struggle not to cry. But how can people be so insensitive? And they are just no more than 12 months younger. How can I convince myself that it was their ignorance due to age?
Maybe that's where the complexities of a teenager comes in. I am still figuring out myself now. But I feel as though I've never been so confused before. And it's as if the older I grow, the more my eyes open up to more things and finally so many things I finally realised, that I'm just an outsider.
These inner turmoil I've been going through recently.
---
Dinned with Huimin Tim Weiern and brother today. So got a lift to jem and had a budget dinner at EAT. But the rest weren't satisfied cause they found the portion a little too small. But if it would make any sense, we went Sogurt after that and shared a MY BIG CUP SOGURT that cost $17+. But gone in awhile since 5 people were sharing it.
Awkward conversation at the table with Weiern while the rest went to get Sogurt. Brother said cause I was too young. Well maybe. Everyone there were technically above 20. But okay... dinner out today was a good idea cause it kind of cheered me up. And sort of witness Weiern's childish side when we were talking about Tim's new perms.
Things that made me genuinely laugh.
Maybe people who are more senior in age don't hurt. People who are more junior hurt. Sometimes.
Think I am a person who really doesn't think much on the surface. Not much thoughts to a lot of things that I do. But then there's still many things that goes on in my head and honestly you don't see me sharing my inner thoughts to people. I feel like cause I'm a really sensitive person and so when I'm upset, if I tell others about it, they'll brush it aside and go "aiya it's cause you're just sensitive" and sort of brush it off and then maybe leaving them the impression that I'm a really sensitive person so don't ever touch me emotionally. And then I'm afraid soon after they'll find me a burden and not wanna talk to me as how they usually do. Yep, being a burden to people, my greatest fear.
So as a result, I just sort of deal with my own feelings and emotions. Upset? Let time help me get over it. Swallow it. I don't really know how much or how serious it has to be so that I can share it with close friends and they'll think it's "normal". So in the end I just don't at all. And while I'm dealing with these stuffs on my own, I pretend like I'm fine. Maybe too fine. Do people take it for granted? Jokes they start making about me soon becomes more hurtful than funny. How serious must it be before I can consider it to be hurtful in normal people eyes? So I keep swallowing all these hurt while keep telling myself that they mean no harm and it was all for fun & laughter or they are still young and insensitive with their words. Sometimes although outwardly I smile, inwardly I struggle not to cry. But how can people be so insensitive? And they are just no more than 12 months younger. How can I convince myself that it was their ignorance due to age?
Maybe that's where the complexities of a teenager comes in. I am still figuring out myself now. But I feel as though I've never been so confused before. And it's as if the older I grow, the more my eyes open up to more things and finally so many things I finally realised, that I'm just an outsider.
These inner turmoil I've been going through recently.
---
Dinned with Huimin Tim Weiern and brother today. So got a lift to jem and had a budget dinner at EAT. But the rest weren't satisfied cause they found the portion a little too small. But if it would make any sense, we went Sogurt after that and shared a MY BIG CUP SOGURT that cost $17+. But gone in awhile since 5 people were sharing it.
Awkward conversation at the table with Weiern while the rest went to get Sogurt. Brother said cause I was too young. Well maybe. Everyone there were technically above 20. But okay... dinner out today was a good idea cause it kind of cheered me up. And sort of witness Weiern's childish side when we were talking about Tim's new perms.
Things that made me genuinely laugh.
Maybe people who are more senior in age don't hurt. People who are more junior hurt. Sometimes.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Old time classics.
HELLO FRIENDS. Today was SP open house to the secondary school students. Had stats in the morning. Could have been on time but the tap out machines at Dover greeted me with a "Please try again". OHHHH MY GOSHHHH. Had to walk all the way to Customer Service Area (if I remember the name correctly...) and then go all the way back to the queue cause I don't wanna get judged by cutting queue. Wasted 5 minutes there I think cause every 1min there was an incoming train. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW LONG THE QUEUE TO TAP OUT WAS AND I HAD TO REJOIN THE QUEUE.
So had Stats lab, then Econs tutorial and was pleasantly surprised with a cancelled Stats lecture. Hip hip hooray! Although I was outwardly complaining on how I finally brought my Stats lecture notes and Mr Robert had to cancel his lecture, but no students can deny the inward and pure little joy when they hear their lessons being cancelled rightttt. HAHAHAHA.
So had a two hours break before PACC. Installed Realtimme onto my comp before heading to the SPICE Centre at T21 to fix my computer. This weird problem whereby there wasn't the desktop title in the start screen and I also couldn't customise my laptop. This T21 spice centre guy that was there when I installed my SPSS the very first time and also the T17 guy was there too idk why. He was the one who helped me download my SPSS the second time. HAHAHA. So it turned out my laptop had some issues that required a full reset.
So as previously mentioned, it was SP unofficial open house. There was a performance at T21 foyer. And one of the songs the performer sang was Forever Love. And the T17 and T21 guys were totally singing out loud along with the performer outside. So when the performance was over, the T17 guy started to play his own songs in the SPICE Centre. First song in the playlist that was played was Kiss Goodbye I still remember. HAHAHA. Then it was like a WHOLE LIST OF OLD CHINESE SONGS. MUAHAHAH. My favourite I likey. ;) If you think Kiss Goodbye is old enough, you have not heard older songs that he played. There was like 夜来香，给我一杯忘情水，吻别，至少还有你，爱上一个不回家的人，征服 and many other older Chinese songs. But I was totally humming along with all the songs played! HAHAHA. Cause I've heard those old old songs (like those that existed even before I was born) playing of papa's car since young. And the not-so-old old songs, they're pretty much classics and any cpop music listener should know them.
But cause I didn't bring my charger along, my laptop died in the end and I'm left with SPSS and Realtimme to install. Haishies, need to get the Realtimme installer from Mr Hoh again. So burden...
Went over to the auditorium to find Aravin and was introduced to a bunch of kids from GESS. And one of them was Lin's sister! Woah! So cool! Chatted from 4+ all the way till 6. Okay still trying to get used to talking to new people comfortably. There was a moment of awkward silence when Aravin and Max left me alone with them. Almost died. But Anston (I think... he was one of the students from GESS) tried to make an effort to talk to me. Thanks. HAHAHAH. Thankfully they came back soon enough though.
Open House duty on Friday guys! See you all there! ^o^
So had Stats lab, then Econs tutorial and was pleasantly surprised with a cancelled Stats lecture. Hip hip hooray! Although I was outwardly complaining on how I finally brought my Stats lecture notes and Mr Robert had to cancel his lecture, but no students can deny the inward and pure little joy when they hear their lessons being cancelled rightttt. HAHAHAHA.
So had a two hours break before PACC. Installed Realtimme onto my comp before heading to the SPICE Centre at T21 to fix my computer. This weird problem whereby there wasn't the desktop title in the start screen and I also couldn't customise my laptop. This T21 spice centre guy that was there when I installed my SPSS the very first time and also the T17 guy was there too idk why. He was the one who helped me download my SPSS the second time. HAHAHA. So it turned out my laptop had some issues that required a full reset.
So as previously mentioned, it was SP unofficial open house. There was a performance at T21 foyer. And one of the songs the performer sang was Forever Love. And the T17 and T21 guys were totally singing out loud along with the performer outside. So when the performance was over, the T17 guy started to play his own songs in the SPICE Centre. First song in the playlist that was played was Kiss Goodbye I still remember. HAHAHA. Then it was like a WHOLE LIST OF OLD CHINESE SONGS. MUAHAHAH. My favourite I likey. ;) If you think Kiss Goodbye is old enough, you have not heard older songs that he played. There was like 夜来香，给我一杯忘情水，吻别，至少还有你，爱上一个不回家的人，征服 and many other older Chinese songs. But I was totally humming along with all the songs played! HAHAHA. Cause I've heard those old old songs (like those that existed even before I was born) playing of papa's car since young. And the not-so-old old songs, they're pretty much classics and any cpop music listener should know them.
But cause I didn't bring my charger along, my laptop died in the end and I'm left with SPSS and Realtimme to install. Haishies, need to get the Realtimme installer from Mr Hoh again. So burden...
Went over to the auditorium to find Aravin and was introduced to a bunch of kids from GESS. And one of them was Lin's sister! Woah! So cool! Chatted from 4+ all the way till 6. Okay still trying to get used to talking to new people comfortably. There was a moment of awkward silence when Aravin and Max left me alone with them. Almost died. But Anston (I think... he was one of the students from GESS) tried to make an effort to talk to me. Thanks. HAHAHAH. Thankfully they came back soon enough though.
Open House duty on Friday guys! See you all there! ^o^
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Dancing queen, young and sweet, only Seventeen.
Hi friendsssss. Seventh day being seventeen.
Second day of school was quite good I would say. I mean well, at least it was bearable. Set my alarm at 830 thinking I would have ample of time to wash up, prepare for school and cook MAGGIE for breakie. Turned out I overslept and mummy came into my room at 948 asking me if I wanna go to school or not. OH NOZE. Plan of eating Maggie for breakie may not work out moment. But nicely asked mummy if she could cook Maggie for me and she said okay. So YAYYYY. MAGGIE FOR ME. Puny though.
Went for Stats lesson and cause the SPSS on my lappy kept giving me an error notice, I shared with zhiyi her lappy while doing labwork. GUYS, never ever ever ever get an Acer if you're looking for an ultrabook. Only about 9 months of purchase and it's giving me so much problems. Same goes for my other 2 friends with an Acer ulltrabook. Problems never seem to end. Totally regret not getting a Mac Book Air. Haishies.
Technically I've got lesser project work this term, but it seem as though there's a humongous portion of the work that requires research and finding articles. Which so to speak, is really tedious. Sigh much. But okay, still thankful for lesser project this term.
School just started and I can't wait for holidays in March already. Hehe.
Second day of school was quite good I would say. I mean well, at least it was bearable. Set my alarm at 830 thinking I would have ample of time to wash up, prepare for school and cook MAGGIE for breakie. Turned out I overslept and mummy came into my room at 948 asking me if I wanna go to school or not. OH NOZE. Plan of eating Maggie for breakie may not work out moment. But nicely asked mummy if she could cook Maggie for me and she said okay. So YAYYYY. MAGGIE FOR ME. Puny though.
Went for Stats lesson and cause the SPSS on my lappy kept giving me an error notice, I shared with zhiyi her lappy while doing labwork. GUYS, never ever ever ever get an Acer if you're looking for an ultrabook. Only about 9 months of purchase and it's giving me so much problems. Same goes for my other 2 friends with an Acer ulltrabook. Problems never seem to end. Totally regret not getting a Mac Book Air. Haishies.
Technically I've got lesser project work this term, but it seem as though there's a humongous portion of the work that requires research and finding articles. Which so to speak, is really tedious. Sigh much. But okay, still thankful for lesser project this term.
School just started and I can't wait for holidays in March already. Hehe.
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