I asked myself the same questions over and over.

Well today was rather depressing yet super high. Diana kept talking about Suju to me today and her whole person went high. If you've known me long enough, my 'high-ness' (LOL. How do you say it) is affected by people around me. So as a result I was like high in the morning. During econs Amirah suddenly talked to me about Infinite, then SS501 then slowly kpop in general. And she went high, so I went high too. Chum, Yuanshan was high about Ms Alicia being biased to Britain, and then I went high too. So in genral, I was high the whole day. LOL, probably that's why now I'm so tired and I'm processing my thoughts rather slowly.

But come to think of it, I've got so much things so think about, so much things to do, I've actually got very little time to finish what I need to complete. Think I'll write the teachers cards tomorrow. Biology homework... I really don't know.

So recently I've watched 110823's and 110830's broadcast of Strong Heart where it'd be Heechul's last variety recording and what made me realised was that it really wasn't easy for Super Junior to be so successful and now that they are so successful, members have to leave temporarily for other commitments and it's hardly a 12 even without Hangeng because apparently he is not allowed to be on the same stage with the rest I heard. So I somewhat understand how others feel when they hear that Heechul is gonna be enlisted. Well true enough he may not be their biased, but the fact that Heechul's existence does make a difference in Super Junior and the emptiness caused by his absence does make a reality. Well I've never really thought about it before but after watching Strong Heart, it does make me feel sad that Heechul won't be appearing on screens for 2 years. In addition I've been watching his variety since June, shows like Good Daddy and Family Outing 2 and he is really good in variety shows. Honestly, it never really occurred to me of the impact that Heechul's gonna leave for 2 years, until about today that Super Junior is one member lesser.



Really sweet of the fans afterall. Changed the fanchant specially for him.

Come back safely! :)

Probably pop by here for a sec.

Short post before I remove my contacts and sleep!

Went to Melting pot cafe and had branch! :D Awesome food there! Well a little confession to make though, it was my first time tasting expresso :P HAHAHAHA okay, so fail. I was so full I only had soup for dinner and I'M STILL SO FULL NOW. Ohmygoodness. Hahaha. Right, so tomorrow is tuition :/ Okay shall sleep now :)

Oh wait, I reeeeeeally want anti-radiation stickers especially the ... ones :/ Think I'm in love with them LOL.

Bye!

The Unofficial Start to my Holidays

Rather busy this whole week... Got a lot of things waiting for me to do. Hope I don't procrastinate too much :/

One thing life somehow always teaches me due to experiences but I never seem to learn is that never expect too much because it'll usually turn the other way round. Things won't happen the way you planned or imagined it to be. And then usually after I'll get disappointed. But I was to be blamed partially because I had too much expectations.

I'm so hungry now. LOL. Randomed. No seriously, I am hungry.

Everything seem to fall out of place.. :/

Rudely interrupted by mum and was told to go home immediately when we called when I've told her countless times since Sunday I'll be meeting friends on Friday in case she scolds me of not informing her again. Even told her this morning I'll be out. Wasn't even 4 when she called me, scolded me, asked me to go home, scolding me I was being so brazen nowadays that I didn't tell her beforehand that I was going out. And as a result, I must go home right at that instant. Right. Before I even met my friends I even met up with papa to settle some orthortics stuffs and before leaving him, I told him I was off to meet my friends, twice. AND HE EVEN SAID OKAY AND BYE. And then when he came home, he scolded me for going to meet my friends and not going home after school. LIKE SERIOUSLY?! WHY ARE YOU ALL BEING LIKE THIS?! 왜이러니 And when you guys scold me, somehow you add words here and there and WALA! IT ALL BECOMES MY FAULT! You guys specially studied how to scold people? That's why when you all complain to stores, scold them for inefficient service etc, you all ALWAYS end up with something free, or some discounts. I sincerely salute you all for your scolding skills. You guys must have came a long way.

I don't understand how me hanging out with friends angers you all so much; not forgetting the fact that I actually took the trouble to tell you all WAYYYYYYYYY AHEAD OF TIME AND MANY MANY TIMES AND EVEN IN THE MORNING TODAY AND YOU ALL SAID OKAY. Perviously when I called you all to tell you all that I was going out until quite late, I got a trashing when I got home just because I told you all claimed-the-oh-so-last-minute; whatever. So I even told you all four days earlier but still get scolded for not telling you all. I just think you all have a problem with me going out right? And when it comes to brother, he just have to sms you all and nothing happens. He doesn't get a scolding whatsoever. I feel so cheated by you guys. You all ALWAYS have to ruin my day like that right? Thanks, but no thanks.

Anyway. A :) and a :@ would summarise my day. :) was where school was slack and everyone was being so funny. But thankfully, there was lzx's clips that ost1nao uploaded for us youtubers and saw a few superman + mr simple clips that made me smile and all cheered up.



Yep, this song is quite BHB but the part where Teukie sang (or should I say rapped..?) was very touching.

Should I pluck the stars for you, count them one, two, three
With the stars we've lost. We're thirteen stars.

This song is sooooo them. The stars they've lost? Those three would have been HanKyung due to contract issues, KiBum due to acting commitments and KangIn due to NS. But in the end, they are all thirteen stars togething in the Super Junior family. And so heartening they got the leader to sing it. Heard it was Leeteuk who wrote this song! Even though this may be their 'last' full length album that they'll be producing because Teuk & Hee will be serving in NS but the last part of the song promises it won't be the last of them.

Who would be able to say we've finished
Super Junior is only missing the 'man' from the name of 'superman'...
Even if the road we walk is barren,
We are in the end, Super Junior
The last man standing.

Make me even respect Teukkie more.

It has always been a blessing.

WOW! SUPER EGG-CITED! I REALLY WANNA GO TAIWAN VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH! :O Read my email and there was this 8-days imemersion program. Really wanna go very, very much D: Since choir cmi, isn't this like the chance? Immersion program some more x.x Haish, however, don't think I can go though... I've been to Nan jing already. And think a lot of people will wanna go for this trip. Like seriously, compare China and Taiwan, of course Taiwan without a doubt right? :/ But think my chances of going for this thingy is very, very low. Okay, I'm sad already :(

Anyway, today was retreat. Was rather fruitful I guess. HAHAHA. Went to Fat Cow after retreat and played monopoly game! xD HEHEHE, ganged up with Joanne against Ian & Joshua xD Totally won them :) Yay us! Can't wait for Friday! :) We're meeting up to koi! :D

That reminds me, need to meet up with Ben soon x.x have not been attending SGH for a long time :/

But like seriously, ACSI likes to holiday A LOT. Ian doesn't have school on Friday -.-

Procrastination is dangerous.

Plan to complete all my homework by weekend totally failed. Super Junior shows so much more attractive x.x Ohmygosh. Production rate: 0%. Die already lah, eoy how to get good marks? I know practically nothing about bio, chem and chum. Furthermore I don't know if I should continue being in Mrs Philip's class for sec 4 next year or not.

Ah, so many commitments, so many things to accomplish, but so little self-discipline and so weak determination. Guess this is what I call the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak? I wouldn't really blame it on time. Time is short, but it's never too little for you to not accomplish your tasks. The problem lies with the person. I procrastinate too much. And I don't want to take the first step of stop watching my videos which never starts my motivation of studying.

I'll probably rackey camp's outing venues after my EOYs which would be somewhere after 12th Oct..? Urgh... Need to come up with all the plans and activities before the next meeting. :/ Have not caught up with MingDao & Bro David since last week. Don't know how's web going. Turns out that doing Outing is not that slack, in fact, quite a lot of stress. It's so different from other portfolios in that sense at least for others, you've got the location which is the church and you can peacefully plan everything within the church premises. But outing is so hard to say. If the outing is no good, then bam, you don't really have any time to improve it since its like those few hours. But I don't wish to plan a boring outing. At the same time, planing an interesting one would be a big challenge in this time frame.

I'll probably see how it goes. Afterall, I'm not the person who usually plans things way ahead. I believe time changes a lot of things. If by then what you've plan or thought initailly can't be done cause of changed circumstances, you'll get disappointed, unecessarily. I'm not really promoting last minute work, but I feel I'm the type of person who can brainstorm or come up with things more and better last minute. Afterall, the saying goes, things turns out funner when it's unplanned. Planned things may cause disappointment as it usually doesn't turn out the way you wished. No point worrying too much! Leave it to the Lord :)

Yep. I'm sleeping now :)

Leave it to time

不喜歡懷疑什麼　並不表示我沒有感受

看你微妙的變化　慢慢不同
我不是生氣　　只是心痛
最討厭被誤會了　但越解釋越覺得難過
你可以説人會變　但不能説　你會這麼做是我的錯

哭過就好了　傷都會好的
這樣相信所以深呼吸著割捨
愛是為了擁抱 為了牽手
不是為了爭吵 為了調頭

哭過就好了　痛都會走的
記憶有限所以它會淘汰壞的
失眠聽歌想念雖然苦澀
還是謝謝你讓我長大了

越多美好堆疊的過往
想忘就得推倒更大的悲傷
要找勇氣卻不在口袋或手上
但它一定在我身上某個地方

Still couldn't help butshed tears when seeing the coffin go down. But all is well. The Lord is really good.

Just a short post

A short summary about what I feel today..? Heard Mdm Soh said I went hospital. Lol are you serious?! Seriously, I really don't mind if she said I had a funeral to attend. Just that it's better to keep a low-key on what happened. After all, it's not something to celebrate about. 

Just for my friends, don't worry I'm fine okay. Hahah recede so many texts asking if I'm okay or not. So sweet :) thank you people but I'm reeeeeeeally alright so don't don't worry okay! 

Surprisingly, experiencing the first death of a family member as far as my memory serves me isn't that scary, or emotional or whatever I've had normally seen in dramas. Fair enough, I do feel sad, but not till the extend where I would be all crying-like-there's-no-tomorrow. And it has made me come to think that, no matter what happens, life still goes on. The farewell of a person does not stop the clock from ticking, there are still many things in life for us to complete.

Maybe the after effects of grandfather's passing away will seep in as time passes, but it still doesn't change the fact that the Lord has taken grandfather away.

I pray the Lord would be merciful and grant that we may be strong and faithful, grant us sustenance. 

At peace.

Well I kinda have a bit of a mixed feelings now. So firstly shall yabble about 8th August where the school celebrated National Day..? Kinda wasted 4 hours of our time listening to speeches and prize presentation. Really did almost nothing. Went to vivo to watch Zookeeper. Well maybe it was for the better. Really don't like the feeling of seeing juniors everywhere in JP where we initially wanted to go to. And furthermore JP would be super boring to go since we go there almost EVERY WEEK, or rather, after EVERY school events. Last thing that I'd like going to vivo after all those reasons that is it's near my house :) Super duper convienent. I can still take a bus home with YuanShan! :)

Then next would be National Day, 9 August. Had kite flying day, but lesser people came this year. Flew kite for the first time in my whole life as far as my memory serves me. Super successful. It flew so high right away Esther & Ern-wei were so jealous :P

Mine is towards the right. The other was Luke's.

While others were in the celebratory mood watching NDP, I was watching suju's EHB. LOL. But I could see everyone still so supportive even in twitter.

SHARON AU IN A HEARTBEAT WATCHING NDP GURMIT SINGH ALL TRENDING! SINGAPORE FTW!

Well this would be President SR Nathan's last National Day Parade as the Head of States. For the past 12 years of my life, and that would be even since I started school as a kindergarten toddler, his photo was hung everywhere. It would really get me awhile to get use to the new photo that is gonna be changed to this coming end-of-august. He's last words being "The sun will rise, the sun will set, I will still see you. All good things must end some day. I take it in my stride." Really make me respect him."I hope they will always be conscious of the message of this National Day. That we are in a continuous relay. There's no end to it. We have to keep on striving, that's the nature of our life."

Today? Grandfather passed away 6.30am in the morning. The first thing that hit me was, pray. And when I prayed, I thanked God for bringing him home. Sub-consciously. Yes, I was sad. I did cry. But I experienced this peace that passeth all understanding. I thanked God for the peace, the mercy, the sustenance, the comfort and the love He had blessed grandfather with all his life. Even though at times he'll feel very useless because he is visually impaired and frail in being, even though as grandchildren we neglected him, even though the outer man grows weaker and weaker in time, God never did forsake him.

Probably the lesson during June camp where we walked in the cemetry did I forget. Death has once again never felt so real. The day before while visiting him, he still seemed fine and his condition had improved. But bam and this morning he had a really high fever, and the Lord took him. I never knew that it would be the last time calling him and I've always took it for granted that he's condition would improve and I would see him at home again. But thank God he passed away peacefully.

Many thoughts came acrossed my mind but this particular verse was suddenly remembered.
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." -Matthew6:33-34

Really, we don't know when our lifes are gonna end. We can never take for granted being young and all healthy, we'll live a ripe old age; being technologically advance, almost all illnesses can be cured.
"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vaniseth away." -James4:14
Life is really fragile and I guess, the message brought acrossed to me today is to live life to the fullest for Christ, as if there's no tomorrow because you really don't know when your time's up. The following verse of James 4:14 goes "For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that."

I'm honestly not all emo-wrist-cutty-whatever over the passing away of my grandfather. I'm just sad , that's all. But I'm fine. I'll remember grandfather always by that caring person who put up with the very mischevious little me when I was very young. Because he had fought a good fight, he had finished his course, he had kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for him a crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give him at that day. The Lord had remembered him and has put an end to all his earthly sufferings which his outer being cause him.

I hope I can keep up to this; Praise the Lord for his abundant mercy, and till He comes, I'll serve Him wholeheartedly, stedfastly and faithfully.

Who remembered when it rained?

Well probably just a random thought that sumed up my whole day since I'm so tired to be bothered with anything. Need my sleep yeah.




What hurts the most, is being so close, having so much to say yet silently watch them walk away most probably never coming back

Nonetheless, it's still First of August

Life still goes on. Hmmm... What should I talk about today? :) I don't really know. But wanna write a post today cause it's the first of august. Well, I was asleep on the last day of july till the first of august. LOL. So lame. Hmmm... Aiya, after thinking for 2 hours, I've got nothing to type/no thoughts. Shall leave it hanging..................................................

here.

Bye :)