We are all prostitutes.

The currency of our trade isn’t always measured by intimate nights or folded dollar bills – we play at much higher stakes: we barter our hearts away. While the ladies of the night conceal their faces with layer upon layer of makeup and loiter in dim alleys; we, unlike them, know no shame. We brandish our statuses as prostitutes – flaunt them even – revel in our debauchery.

Of course, you never intended to become a prostitute to begin with. No one does. In kindergarten, when all the children drew pictures of what they wanted to be when they grew up, you drew the obligatory "doctor" or "teacher" with your blunt crayons, and waited for your mother to admire it. It did not matter that you spelt "doctor" with a "k" or that your sketch of a teacher had only three fingers on each hand – the ambitions were sufficient. You did not stand up and declare, "I want to be a harlot." No one does.

In college, when everyone else was out partying and having the time of their lives, you stayed in your dormitory – hungover from too many late nights spent poring over your books. You worked evening shifts at a fast food restaurant to pay off your tuition fees and spent the rest of the time studying. You did not take the easy way out; did not smoke weed or get wasted or sleep with everyone in your corridor.

In fact, you saved your virginity for marriage – you married a nice decent boy and both of you bought a nice decent house and you had a nice decent job with nice decent hours and it is in the middle of the night that you realise that you have been unhappy all along. You are tired of this chaste life of yours that you have been living – and you decide: it is time to do something decadent. You climb out of bed and put on the shortest skirt you own, and take care to hitch it up two inches further.

You take nothing with you as you tiptoe out of the bedroom door and catch a glimpse of your husband’s silhouette stirring in the dark. You know full well that he is awake; he is watching you leave, and you do so anyway. You know that this will break his heart and that you will not return in the morning – so there will be no screaming tearful scene to dread – and you walk out into the night.

How does this work? You aren’t sure and the night is way colder than you had thought it would be. You fold your arms and exhale – your breath comes in pale white clouds – and wait by the sidewalk. You have no idea who you are waiting for; but you recognize him instantly, even from a distance. The golden tip of his cigar illuminates the shadows of his face and his dark eyes are trained upon your face.

"Let’s play a game," he announces as he makes his way to your side. "No one will ever find out."

"What is it?"

"Oh, this is all very simple. We’ll make a trade, all right? I know you’re lonely and you’re tired of your life – throw everything to the winds then! Spend some time with me. I’ll show you what life was meant to be. This could be the opportunity of a lifetime."

A part of you hesitates: it isn’t too late to turn back now - your house is just a block away. But this irresistibly handsome man is making you a proposal; he seems a little tipsy, but he knows what he is talking about.

"So what will it be, m’lady? All I ask is just a little bit – just a fraction – of your heart. You don’t have to give me all of it." He cocks his head and takes another drag of his cigarette. "You come with me – I’ll show you the world – and all you have to give me is just a fraction of your heart. What would you do with a complete heart anyway?"

You nod and his face breaks into a grin, exposing his perfectly aligned teeth. You shake hands.
"Very well, then. It’s nice to meet you: I’m Thrill."

The deal having been sealed; you spend the next few weeks with him. It is completely exhilarating, a whirlwind of perfectly sequenced, impeccably timed adventures. You ride in his convertible at speeds so fast your breath catches and the wind roars against your ears and your eyes water. You dine at an impossibly expensive restaurant without a penny in either of your pockets – and dash. You get high, smoke pot – do everything with Thrill that you had always dreamed of but never dared. You spend your nights in clubs in a blissful haze and dash across roads in a drunken daze with Thrill by your side, always by your side.

The first two weeks are perfect, and then you grow irate and tired. And after too many mornings spent nursing a splitting headache, you decide that you have had enough of Thrill. You find him lounging on the couch, his shirt unbuttoned, his chiselled good looks untainted by the endless wild nights. But he seems to have lost his charm, and you are angry and miserable and upset about the tattoo you had gotten on impulse the night before – a string of Korean characters that you didn’t even understand.

"I’m leaving; can I please have that part of my heart back?"

Thrill shakes his head. "That’s not how things work, you’ve had your fun and now you want to leave. That’s fine. But remember the trade we made? I kept my end of the bargain, so no, you can’t."

That very night, you are out on the streets again – waiting for another proposal, ignoring the leers from the men around you. And this time, you meet Approval – a nice boy with thick black rimmed glasses, a couple of years younger than you.

"You know the rules of the game," he says softly, without the half the charm or witticisms of Thrill, but just as, if not more compellingly. "I can give you what you want. You’ve always wanted me – I’m the one you’ve been looking for all your life. All you have to do is give me a portion of your heart in return."

You squint at him in the dim light and the agreement is made.
He lives up to his word; he is an attentive lover: Approval showers you with compliments, and flowers, and little gifts, and little post-it notes that appear magically in your wallet. He makes you feel good about yourself in a way you have never felt before. "You’re perfect," he whispers as you frown at yourself in the mirror. "You’re beautiful," he assures you – even though no one has told you that before.

"You’re all I’ve always wanted," you tell Approval in return, knowing that will make his day.

But as days pass, Approval grows colder and more distant. You aren’t quite sure if the little encouraging notes are getting fewer and further in between – or if they just aren’t enough to make you happy anymore. He comes back later with each progressive night, and goes to bed tired, with only a cursory, flat "goodnight honey".

You seek Approval out: you buy new make-up, put on a new expensive dress, sidle up to him seductively in the hopes that he will look at you as he once did before. You were never quite in love with him, only with the attention that he gave; but now that he is cold and withdrawn, you are disappointed and bitter.
"I don’t need you!" you yell vehemently and storm out.

You stop at a nearby bar for a few drinks and meet Self-Confidence. She is pretty and tall with sultry dark eyes, and a halter top that reveals more than it conceals.

She takes a seat next to you, and watching you for a while, begins the conversation.
"Tell me your past lovers."

"Thrill and Approval," your voice has all the sulkiness of a scorned woman.

She pauses, downs her drink with a neat flick of her wrist, and smiles. Already she is relishing the words she has to say, and she knows she is making you an offer that you cannot refuse.
"Stop looking for Thrill; you have to stop. Please stop thinking about him. You’re not a teenager anymore."

"What about Approval?" you ask.

"Why would you need Approval when you can have me?" she leans across the counter and gazes steadily at you.

"I could be your new best friend. All you have to do is – "

You already know the end of her proposition. You think of your heart – your half of a heart, rather – and decide that you need her more than you require your heart.

She smiles indulgently. "My dear, you won’t need anyone as long as I’m here with you."

Having Self-Confidence by your side is the best thing that has happened to you. She brings you on shopping sprees, nods at everything in your shopping cart and assures you that you look good – no matter what others may say. Every meal is her treat; every trip out is a new lesson for you. She is your teacher, and the world is your classroom.

Self-Confidence takes you up to complete strangers and strikes conversations with them with enviable ease; she brings you to bars and restaurants and teaches you the subtle arts of flirting, of reeling in a man. She has stripped away your awkwardness and equipped you with the gift of the gab – although, admittedly, it is she who does most of the talking.

You love walking with her along crowded streets – you’re not quite certain if people are making a double take to look at you, or her, but it no longer matters. You love the attention.

One casual Friday night, you are seated with Self-Confidence at a riverside restaurant, when a man approaches the both of you – a stranger you have never met before.

"Hi, I’m R." He says, hand extended toward you.

You glance briefly at Self-Confidence and she nods approvingly at you.
"Hi," you reply. "What’s your full name, R?"

"I’m Relationship, but please, just call me R," he laughs, and gestures toward the empty seat next to you. "May I treat you ladies to dinner tonight?"

Self-Confidence and you have an amazing conversation with R and you feel an instant connection – despite the fact that he is perhaps, ten years older than you. He is witty and charming and soon, you have agreed on the next date. You are in love with him, even though you have only less than a quarter of a heart left, and you have prostituted yourself to Thrill and Approval and Self-Confidence and prostitutes do not fall in love.

You are in love with him, because he hasn’t made you a proposition.

Self-Confidence – your self-declared best friend after all – comes along with you on all your dates, turning your candlelight dinner dates into dinners for three. You are sitting between R and Self Confidence on a park bench, late one night after your date with him, and he turns to you – "I want to know you, really. Tell me about yourself."

Self-Confidence sneaks away quietly to grant the both of you some privacy; and finally, it is just the both of you without her imposing presence. You pull out the small portion of heart you have left and hand it to R, knowing that it is all you have left.
You don’t know where to begin and start blabbering all about your past to R – about Thrill, and Approval, and all your past lovers whom you’ve never quite gotten over. Without Self-Confidence, there is no one to keep your idle words in check, or to give you sharp glances when you have crossed your boundaries. Perhaps, you are a little tipsy, and perhaps you drank one too many glasses of wine at dinner.

"I really miss Approval," you sob. "I’ve been searching so long and hard for him." You are in love with R – you are quite certain of that – but without Self-Confidence, something else in you takes over and draws from you the words that you have actually been longing to say. "Please don’t go, R. I wouldn’t know what to do without you."

R is silent and then he asks quietly, "Where is Self-Confidence?"

It dawns upon you that he only liked you when she was with the both of you – he is quite evidently wincing at your tears and sob stories. Certainly, where is there not to like about Self-Confidence – the pretty, assured lady with a never ending supply of jokes and stories to dish out? You are hurt and silent and R hastily apologises – a half-hearted bumbling apology – and hand-in-hand, you return to a hotel with him, the air thick and heavy with the words the both of you had exchanged.

You sleep with him, thinking you could make him stay – after all you have given him your heart – but he is gone the next morning, and in his place is a stranger.

"What’s your name?" you ask, squinting at the scrawny man seated on the edge of your bed. Your head is pounding too painfully for formalities or courtesy. "I’m sorry... I think I must have been drunk last night, and I don’t remember meeting you. Where’s R?"

"I’m Hurt," comes the reply.

You stare quizzically at him and he interrupts your train of thought. "My name is Hurt. My twin sister is making breakfast – she’s Resentment, and I’m sure you’ll meet her soon. You’ve met R, haven’t you? I’m his replacement. Wherever he leaves, I’ll fill the spaces he has left behind."

"You must be mistaken - I don’t have any more of my heart to give to you. I have nothing left. I gave it all away to people who have left me."

"It’s alright," says Hurt. "I don’t need your heart. I stay with people who have lost theirs. I made a contract with R since the beginning of time – you will always try to seek him, but find me instead."

You sigh and get up to leave, but Hurt follows silently behind everywhere you go, tagging along in your shadow. He is a quiet guy and most people don’t take any notice of him; they don’t seem to see the stranger standing behind you all the time. How could they possibly not see?

At the most inconvenient times, when you’re finally all alone with Hurt, he rips out old photographs from dusty albums and dangles them in front of you. "You’ll never amount to anything," he snarls. "Everyone you love has left you."

After he has left, after he is done tearing you to bits, Resentment enters the room quietly after her brother and whispers, "It isn’t your fault, darling. It was all theirs. They didn’t know what they had when they left you. What jerks they are, aren’t they?"

You finally grow tired of the loathsome duo and you leave the house. This time as you run down the street in a mixture of fear and hysteria, they no longer tail behind silently – they grab at your clothes and pull your hair and try to take you captive once again. You run as fast as you can – missing that familiar pounding in your chest where your heart used to be – run, run, run until they are out of sight and you have lost them in the crowd and you turn a corner and realise that you are on the street where your old house used to be.

And all of a sudden, you see a familiar figure right where your house was. A man. Your husband. The one you left. He is older than when you last saw him, there are grey streaks in his hair and it is then that you realise you have been away for far too long. He pauses at the gate, stares vacantly down the street and suddenly squints into the distance.

You freeze. Perhaps you should run away.
"Darling?" he calls tentatively.

You glance behind, certain that you will see his new wife – but there is no one on the road but you.

"Darling? Is that you?" he calls again. He is walking towards you and you’re too stunned to move. You check behind you a second time and when you turn to face the road, he has broken into a run. Why is he running, why is he running? Your hair is dishevelled, your clothes are in rags, you are barefooted, why should he be running towards you? The last time you checked the mirror you were haggard and gaunt and your face was smeared with tears. You hadn’t even had any intention of coming back to see him like this. Why is he running?

Now he has caught you in his embrace: you’ve been away for so long you forgot how warm his chest was and how comfortable and safe it was to be in the arms of another.

"I can’t believe you’re back. I love you. I’ve been waiting for you all this while. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I missed you." His voice is on the verge of breaking, and you look up into his eyes to see tears.

"Why aren’t you angry with me?" your initial shock gives way to wonder.

"How could I be? You’re back. Have you forgotten me – your first love? Do you not remember how much I love you? How could I be angry with you?"

It is now your turn to cry – and the tears come thick and fast. You are overwhelmed by shock and gratitude and amazement: oh, certainly, this wasn’t the response you had expected.

"Come now, my dear, there shan’t be any tears tonight. I’ll take you out to dinner – at your favourite restaurant – how about that?"

"I haven’t any nice dresses," you begin to blubber, immediately realizing the absurdity of your statement.

"Then we’ll buy you one on the way. Come, come, you are home – that’s all that matters. I knew you’d come back – I’ve been waiting for you all this while." And he reaches to wipe your tears away – your dirty smudged face with his crisp white sleeves.

This is a happy ending – and everyone loves happy ending to stories – even if the stories don’t deserve the happy endings. This is my story; this could be your story – it could be anyone’s story.


But the question is:
Why do we do this? Why are we all prostitutes? Because we are human, and we constantly give ourselves away – even to things that do not satisfy, and people who will eventually leave us. Some of us give our hearts away for momentary thrills, others for the approval of others and yet others remain slaves to hurt and resentment.

This story doesn’t have to end with Hurt and Resentment. In the light of Easter, and what Jesus did on the cross, there is hope yet. There is hope out there for those of us who have fallen so far from grace and who have been searching so hard and so long and giving ourselves away to people, to things that will never satisfy.

This is the amazing story of grace. If only we return to Him, He will restore us. :)
–An excerpt from a place I happened to glance at.

SPSU SPSU FOC.

Hey lovies! Back from a great time at spsuFOC. As usual the first day was super awks but then it got better especially when we barely had 3h of sleep on the first day. Everyone got crankier and as a result, we got closer. Pulled off an all-nighter together along with Mingmin, Kenneth, Jeffrey and Kokwei. Cause I was warned by Jason to never sleep on the last night. HAHAHA. Great senior I got there. :P

Oh oh Aravin found out that I was his junior from qifa to css. Super fail lah he! But then after he found out then he super suan me. And on the last night of camp he even brought a bunch of seniors to camp outside my dorm just to wait for me to sleep and enter to tekan everyone in the dorm. HAHAHA TOO BAD I DECIDED NOT TO SLEEP.

Sat at the staircase with the other 4 and chatted from 4 all the way till 7+. Kenneth plus Jeffrey were super super funny then plus Kokwei wahhhh 3h passed so fast. Laugh and laugh and laugh until no sound came out.

It was a super hardcore camp and I won't deny that at times I felt quite sian cause like everyone were just quiet and I've got no one to high with. But as the camp progressed, we had lesser time to sleep, and we started getting crazier and showed their real side, we all got higher. So overall, I did enjoy the camp. :)

Had lunch with Mingmin, Jeffrey and Sean after break camp. Then Kenneth pangseh-ed his friends for awhile and came to sit and chat with us. Laugh like siao again. The combination of Kenneth and Jeffrey really can give your abs a work out lor. Took quite a number of photos but due to me being too shag from the camp, I shall not post them online lest I scar you all mentally for life. LOLOL. But it's alright, all the poly people shall see my ugly side. LOOK SO GOOD IN POLY FOR WHAT. Study lah. HAHAHAHA. Shall stick to my policy of specs to school and contacts else where. DEAL WITH UGLY HUIEN YO. :P

Went to sp today to configure my laptop with Shaowen. Then so happened her family's Dean and Ryan gonna go configure laptop too. So we just went all together luh. Lunched with this senior called Kenyu and then went to configure my lappie. WHO SAID CONFIGURING MEANT 3H OF WAITING. Went there and straight away directed into the rooms. Then my configuration was less than 30 min. Business course FTW! Only needed to download Microsoft office. (Out of about 10 other programs) HEHEHEH. Then while waiting for us, Dean went to Moberly with Keith. So since we didn't know our way around, Dean came back to the configuring place and escorted us to Moberly. HAHAHA awwwww sweet right. MTDC FTW. :D

Slacked awhile at the café then went to get our SP shirts!! WOOOOO. Pretty pretty SP shirts. Bought one black and white dry fit shirt each. Gonna wear those to FOWA with Shaowen and Dean. Then gonna buy the black tank top and sweater soon. ;) Oh oh and I want my cotton shirts mannnn. Oh well, got the whole of the year to slowly buy. No need rush LOL.

Then we headed to the club room but then we didn't see our parents so we just waited outside cause we were being ultimate awkward turtles there. Then finally Angela came and she brought us to SPSU. Super welcoming bunch of people lah! Although we didn't know every single one of them but they were super nice to talk to. And just anyhow photobomb here and there. They photobomb your photos and you photobomb them. And then just suddenly their cams will be in front of you and YOU JUST POSE. LOLOL. Waiting for the photos to go on Facebook. Hope they even remember to post LOLOL. Whata nice buncha people. (Y)

While waiting for our parents outside the place cause it was too awkward to wait inside.

 

With ma daddy! Specially came by to SPSU to say hi to me! ^^

 

 

The Bufalino family! Daddy and Uncles! LOLOL. I look so small around them... This picture had me got #daddyapproved 1000 times! HAHAH YAY! Officially daddy's favourite daughter. LOLOL.

 

 

Now waiting for Aravin to send/post the pictures. 

Because it has always been that way

CHOPPED OFF 5 INCHES OF MA HAIR TODAY!! My hair is so significantly lighter nao. Decided to have much shorter hair for my post-secondary education cause I've decided that I should stop tying my hair so often. It damages the hair especially when you tie your hair, you pull it, so you either "drop" hair or the hair breaks and then you'll have ugly short broken hair that'll stick out when you tie everything up. So at first my hair were touching my erm... elbows..? Now it's about 2-3 inches down my shoulders. Then I got a soft fringe so that it'll accommodate my black specs. Mummy says I look like a doll with soft bangs... Oh wellz.

Oh update: finished watching Five Fingers. Good plot I would say. The lead actors were good too. It's like even up till the last few episodes, it still got you wondering if the father actually loved the mother too much that he was willing to bear all the hate from the mother and bring in the child that his wife had with another man (of which the wife supposed her husband actually had an affair) or was it the father's revenge on the mother that he wanted her and her child (from another man) to hate each other for life. And in the end, I would like to conclude that it was because of his great love for her.

PEOPLE. Recommend me any nice dramas or movies please. Can't seem to find any nice ones anymore ever since completing May Queen. It's like this withdrawal symptom or what. Sigh. Just too in love with the whole cast and plot.

Can't wait for Friday's baking session at Gracia's!! ^^

Welcome back!

Okay this is kind of slow but erm cause I've just been too lazy to blog recently. But hope you can come for June camp too.

Am determined to get used to the horrible key travel that my S7 has to offer so I'm trying to do all the typing of my blog post on this laptop. Yeah, hope that helps at least a bit.

Went half of YF March Retreat. Honestly, the primary reason why I hesitated about staying overnight was because there weren't any of my batch mates who were staying overnight. And by batch mates I mean the females. Those who went to poly were ALL overseas and those who went to jc we ALL away on their cca camps. Poor lonely me. :( BIG FAT SIGH. Wanted to go for the first day messages but cause the message ended at around 9 or so, so dad was discouraging me to go. Mustered my courage and went for the second day, which was today. Intended to go for the first message of the day at 10 and even  set my alarm at 830. But due to my super messed up body clock, I woke up at 944 instead. So end up I went for the second message of today.

Apparently according to the timetable, the second message was at 1130. Reached at 1123 but it seemed like the preacher was already preaching halfway. And the message even ended at 1215 or so. End up after the message, heard from Vanessa that cause the first message ended early so everything was pushed up. Okay... No wonder so paiseh like when I first walked into the room got this feeling like I late like that but actually I wasn't, technically speaking. LOLOL.

Feeling so full today. Fullness in the heart. But very tired at the same time. Don't actually remember the last time I actually woke up around this timing if you would not consider the fact that I woke up at 6 in the morning last Sunday to jog with my brother. And talking about sleep... HAHAHA see all my JC friends talking about how they are lacking in sleep, how 4 hours of sleep is normal etc... And I'm all like... Ever since Os ended I've been sleeping for at least 8 hours or more every single day. Heh heh heh. #evil :P

Yawnssss. Really tired now. Shall retire to bed although I know I'll  probably roll on the bed for at least 2 hours before I actually sleep.

Above all

Hello everybadee! Have been watching this drama called May Queen recently. It's really a melodrama man... So much sad things happening in the drama. Came to watch this drama because of Kim Jaewon. Hehehe... Checked him up ever since I saw his 100 Days with Mr Arrogant. But that's not my point. My point is... May Queen is arguably one of the best 2012 dramas I've ever seen and it's definitely the best drama I've seen so far this year.

It's so rare that I love the whole cast! And take a liking to soooo many actors from this cast. I love all three of the main child actors that either Yoojung looked good with either Guntae or Jibin. And not to forget the child actor for Ilmoon and Inhwa weren't those kind of child actors who you'd dislike/find them irritating in the show. As I'm typing, I'm slowly getting irritated with the little key travel that my new laptop has to offer... sigh... And then we come to the adult actors. The initial part where Changhee has not became bad yet and while he was still dating Haejoo, they two looked good together too. And then later you find that Haejoo looked good with Kangsan too.

Well I really really enjoyed this whole drama. The plot had quite a number of unexpected twist, especially at the end. And throughout the whole drama, you'd feel heart pain for every single character at least for once. And that includes characters who weren't even the lead such as Inhwa, Ilmoon, both of Haejoo's mother, Haejoo's dad, Changhee's dad, Kangsan's grandfather and even the most hateful and the biggest villain in the drama, Jang Dohyun. That was how good the scripts were and how good the cast were in delivering the plot. Oh and even the most insignificant roles such as the secretaries, Secretary Choi & Secretary Kim, were both good looking too. I mean, usually when secretaries get casted for a drama, they'll look so average-looking that you won't even bother to remember their faces. But the secretaries for May Queen though they weren't handsome to the extent of stealing attention away from the main scenes (and that's what they shouldn't do for their roles) but they were good looking enough for people to remember their faces. :P

I guess I wouldn't really have minded if Haejoo ended up with either man. And I mean both the young and adult Haejoo. And I guess the scriptwriters really know how to please their viewers. The young Haejoo, although had a crush on Changhee, she had love-line scenes with Kangsan too, although it was a one-sided thing. And then we see that the adult Haejoo was in a relationship with Changhee before ending the drama with Kangsan. HAHAHAHA. Actually I loved the child actors more. But still, I can't discount the fact that the adults did as well as the children. :)

Oh yeah and just searched a little for fun. Park Jibin is '95, Park Guntae is '96, Seo Youngjoo is '98. All three of them acting as the same age but surprisingly Park Jibin looked the youngest and Seo youngjoo looked the oldest... He was so tall some more. And then Kim Yoojung is '99. Handsome and pretty, young actors we got there.

Ahhhh. Really love staying at home to nua and watch all my dramas. But the bad thing is that sometimes I run out of good dramas to watch, or dramas that I enjoy watching and POOF, I feel like I've wasted the whole day away. And also not to forget that when I've just finished a good drama, I feel like there ain't much good drama left for me to watch, like the rest just aren't as good to capture your heart once again. You know that feeling? :/

Fingers honestly feel a little strained right now after typing this whole post cause it seems that I'm using a lot of effort to type on this keyboard... Sigh. I may resort to getting a portable keyboard if I don't get used to this by this year. Don't think one's gonna be affordable anyway, so need to save up on that money T.T

Apsire S7!!

Hi loves!! Got a new lappie yesterday. Yayz! Currently trying out on the new laptop's keyboard. Key travel is really horrible and battery life is like what... 3h+ only. But considering it it's usual price is $2398 and I got it for $2050, I honestly think it was a good deal. Not to forget it has touch screen too! Was convinced by the salesman that all ultrabooks can't have good key travel cause it's just too thin already. So oh well... Although this laptop had the worse key travel among the 3 laptops that I had in mind, but it has the best performance out of the 3. I guess I can get used to the keyboard with time... If I really can't stand it, I'll just get myself an external keyboard then.

Loving almost everything about it so far! Just hope that when I bring it out, it won't run out of battery too fast and also not be noisy.

This pretty little thing. ;)

This is love.

Sigh. What a bother. Don't know which laptop to get for school use. The brands that school recommends is like... Bleh. Not that good either. It's gonna last me for at least 3 years so must get at least a decent one that won't break down after one plus year of usage. But all the good ones I'm looking at are around the 2000 range. So ex. Grrr. Can't really bear for my parents to fork out that money. But dad insist a good laptop. Haish. Brother's laptop was only 1.2 zzz... So stress. Then mummy saw me browsing through the net ask me why I sighed. Told her all the core i7 processor laptops that I'm looking at all around 2000. Thank God for Ethan a lot. He helped me a great deal in narrowing down my choices. Now what's left is to tell dad which are the two models I'm looking at and see what he says.

Have been rewatching Skip Beat! Extravagant Challenge these few days. Ahhhh totally fell in love with the show again. They should just make a second sequel!! Like seriously. There's so much to say! How Shang tries to win back Gongxi, how Lian slowly opens hi heart to Gongxi and finally how Gongxi works hard towards being a better actress slowly together along with Qin; the drama only talked about Gongxi's entry to the showbiz and her journey to rediscover her lost ability to love after being dumped by Shang. So in the second sequel, showing how she slowly climbs the showbiz ladder to be that best actress would be quite interesting to watch. Oh oh and they have not fully talked about Lian's mysterious past and his relationship with his father. After all, in the manga, his dad was some big star in Hollywood and Lian was super pressurised by that fact; how to come out of his father's shadow and live a life under his name. There were quite a lot of parts in the drama where expectations weren't met in that sense where the plot could have been developed further. And with a second sequel, we can see those expectations being fulfilled.

Have never felt so torn watching a drama anyway. Just imagine, if all those that I've said were to be in the second sequel, wonder which side would I root for. Lian or Shang? I'll be honest right here and it's probably partially cause I'm Donghae biased, so I didn't really disliked his character in the show. But at the same time, being the common stereotypical drama audience, I always almost like the "good" side/person, which is Lian. Honestly I did dislike Shang (Fuwa Sho) in the anime version but erm... heheh. Can't bring myself to dislike Donghae's character in this live action rendition... xD Hope they can get back both Donghae Siwon & Yihan to act together... or at least I hope the director actually considers shooting a second sequel.

Those days back in sec 3 where I anticipated the whole week just for a Monday and catch the latest episode that would be uploaded online. Just one episode managed to put a smile on my face and chase those Monday blues away. I still remember how eager I was to watch the new episodes that I would even watch them on my phone at school during Study Hall periods. Well, these two songs to keep me company while I reminiscence those sweet times.







Goodbye. :)

Stop being stubborn. z.

I like it how when you're so close to a guy friend that you can insert as much hearts in a convo like how you do like it's a girl-girl conv and they know it's cause you're really so close. So far I can only do this to Ian Milton and yx only. And maybe xy if he's considered a friend..? HAHAHAH. MAH DADDY. HAHAHAH. Bet if I did ♥ x10000 to a normal guy friend he'll probably think I'm a flirt or a super high person and get freaked out. Yayz I love all my close guy friends.

Have been chatting with Diana recently. If you see this... I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TAKE CHINA STUDIES AND JOINED INDIAN DANCE. But I take that as a sign you love me. Cause you've became a CHINdian(a). HEHEHEHE YAY for you too.

Didn't actually wanted to go to STAND's group lunch on Sunday honestly cause thought not a lot of people I knew were going. Plus it was at Thai Express... Not a fan of Thai food and erm... It's so darn expensive it takes up about half my weekly allowances. I mean based on my food intake. Plus I would be going out several times this week so I was kinda hesistant on not going. Not keen on getting more money from parents in the case where I run low on money. And no intention on touching my wages either. Serena wasn't around in Singapore, Luke had comm meeting, Dana and Jingyi most probably won't go too since they're still in teens. Didn't think Stacy and Jingwen would go either. But turned out they were going! Okay... So decided to go anywayz. Then shared some beeef stick noodle with Stacy because the looking at the price of the food in the menu probably filled our stomach by half.

Headed to gongcha to get some gongcha (duh). Heheheh. Not a fan of gongcha either cause of previous bad experiences such as ordering their milk tea and it tasted so horrible I almost puked. Their milk is just too... overwhelming for me. Then their fruit tea, even at 50% still tasted like koi's 100%... Then Claire introduced me to their wintermelon milk tea. Goodness gracious... By far the best gongcha experience I ever had. And even while typing this entry I crave for one cup too.

Enrolment package arrived today, 3 days late. The message SP sent to me stated "You would receive your enrolment package by 1 March." Sigh feel so cheated.

Lots of going outs during the March holidays!! Er.... Think all my days are booked out already x.x My dear jc frenzzzzzzzzz. Luke's inviting me to USS saying that he'll sponsor $30 if I go but I'm still contemplating if I should go. After all it hasn't been long since I last visited USS. May get boredzxc.

Okayz. It's 1 in the morning and I gotta wake up by 8 tomorrow. -claps- Good job. Sigh. Really tired and sleepy but I don't wanna budge. That means doing all my before-I-go-to-bed procedures and then finally walk to the switch, switch the lights off, and finally painstakingly walk to my bed with the last ounce of energy I'm gonna use up for the day JUST TO SLEEP.

Gonna collect my passport tomorrow. Shall grab a cup of gongcha's wintermelon tea!!

Goodnightz.

I need to run.

Good morning!! LOLOL. Jk. Wanted to post something and then while surfing through the net I forgotten what I wanted to type. So oh well. Gonna get my teeth washed tomorrow! Like finally after agesssss since I removed my braces. Oh andz Foreign Lang in poly is so. darn. expensive! :O It's like $160?! Or more expensive than that since that was np's rate. Not sure about sp. And yes I have not received ma enrollment package. Urgh. SP is so slowz. Or is it the post office's problem? But heard from seniors who're from the sp admin that I'll receive it by 3 March. Bleh. And I'm considering to start using Instagram to post pictures instead of plainly following people. Heh. Maybe when I start in poly. Then I'll start using..? :) Oh well. You'll know when I start using if you follow me on Twitter cause I'll definitely link it to Twitter if I start posting pictures on Instagram.... Or maybe not..? ;) LOLOL. We'll see. :)

ANYWAYZZZZ. Happy 17th dear girl! Hope you've had a blast today! Words to say, akan datang where you'll find it in your card. Heh. Just a mention to let you know that I've not forgotten about you throughout the day! HAHAH.