Happy 29th.

You gain some, you lose some.

Think mdm soh have up on me on bio. Meh. But I really need to buck up on bio. Actually I'm struggling with all my subjects. Not confident for any. Oh my gosh. This just made me feel like breaking down now. Think this year has been rather emotional for me..? Probably cause of the stress cause by Os and I get triggered very easily. Happy or sad.

I wonder have I done my best for Jesus
Who died upon the cruel tree
To think of His great sacrifice at Calvary
I know my Lord expects the best from me

How many are the lost that I have lifted?
How many are the chained I’ve helped to free?
I wonder have I done my best for Jesus
When He has done so much for me

The hours that I have wasted are so many
The hours I’ve spent for Christ so few
Because of all my lack of love for Jesus,
I wonder if His heart is breaking too.

I wonder have I cared enough for others
Or have I let them die alone
I might have helped a wand’rer to the Saviour
The seed of precious Life I might have sown

Went to Clementi mall with mingsiew after bio sup.

Little confession...

Was seeing the chanel 8 show while I was eating late dinner after my tuition. They were airing some program in remembrance of Feng Fei Fei. Well I literally grew up with her songs. And maybe other artists like Theresa Teng, Fei Yu Qing and other whatnots parents'/grandparents' era. But they were good singers. Because my parents loveeeeeeee them so much, they play their CDs in car so when they fetched me to school when I was still young and cute but dumb, I used to listen to all those kind of songs. As much as I hate to admit it, I probably know more old songs (grand/parents' era songs) than all of my friends and I probably know almost all of these singers' songs. And I do find some of their songs nice.

So happened to see this part where feng fei fei came to singapore yearrrrrrrrrrrrrs ago and she was sing a song with local artist huang wen yong. And suddenly, it made me realised that she was such a good singer I was kinda actually sad that she passed away :/

The first song is good.




I shall just type so much. My thumb still hurts.

Someday.

Monday blues? Maybe not.
Had this really weird but awesome dream. So anyway, dreamt that I was at c'est la vie itself and I FORGOT TO BRING COSTUME + COURT SHOES like the most important things ever needed for every choir performance. But I wasn't panicking. Searched for my phone but it wasn't anywhere. Then asked Jason for his phone to call papa to bring me my costume. And suddenly, after the phone call, his phone became my phone. HAHAHA. NO SENSE. BUT WHO CARES. Then, again, SUDDENLY, I was at this fashion show thingy but I was like a friend of this super super renown photographer with his assistant who happened to be a super professional newspaper writer(..?) And it seemed as though I was literally living in a drama. The love life of me and that guy. LOLOL. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW HE LOOK LIKE CAN. Maybe just handsome in my impression. So I don't know why but I had to follow him everywhere he went. Finally, after the fashion show, he said he wanted to walk around and take notes to improve memory(..?) so I did follow but somehow managed to wander away from him. Saw this escalator queue. Super cool. It was frolick's queue I think. It was because the queue for frolick was so long that people queued until the escalator. And for every two steps of the escalator, one person moved up. Amused by this coolness, I decided to try queue. When I got to the next floor, somehow instead of feeling cheated, I was relieved to see that there wasn't a long queue. The long queue at the ordering lane I mean. The collection queue was longgggg. Super long. About 100+ people..? Yep.

And suddenly I saw ziyan behind me. Then BESIDE ME WAS SHINee's jonghyun and taemin. Hahaha when I was telling this part of my dream to yuanshan she was like "WHY YOU NEVER CALL ME?!?!!" Then ziyan was like calling them appa instead of oppa (probably cause I watched mblaq's hello baby before I slept, therefore appa) and she was talking to them in simple English while they were replying in simple Korean and super big gestures. Seems as though they've seen her a lot of times before. Heh. Then asked to take photos with them and my dad woke me up. There goes my dream.

Rained super heavily today. Thank God dad fetched me :)

Told yuanshan my dream and she was like being super high with me. HAHAHA due the heavy rain, like half the school population was late and dripping wet. And yuanshan said it feels like a crime to be dry and happy now. HAHAHA :P But I guess we were high cause of my dream that I told her in the morning :P

Had pe. Sprained my thumb quite badly. Heard the crack and it totally just prrrrriack. So I couldn't catch the ball after that and caused quite a lot of outs. Meh. Sorry guys. But pe was fun today. Accomplishment of running 15 rounds non stop and games, and game break. LOL.

Couldn't write properly through out the whole day. And my finger up till now is still swollen. Starting to form blood clot already I think. Cause its getting blue black.

Super high durinhg assembly with yuanshan. Justin bieber's baby sounded nice for the first time. HAHAHA they thought some students how to dance jazz in jb's baby. Yuanshan was like saying "Why no kpop one. If they play kpop I confirm immdiately jump up" HAHAHA cute. The moves were really cool to baby. That's why it probably made baby sounded nice. Heh :P There was this dancer called sheena who was super enthu. Too enthu I thought. Then this dancer from Paris who was super graceful and elegant. He was too graceful and elegant for a male. Then this dancer named Claire. The best amongst all I guess. The one with the best balance of everything. Seemed like she can dance almost all the jazz genre. The whole while I was just focusing on her :P So pretty when she dance :) yuanshan agreed too ;)

Had amath short test. Differentiation was easy, it was just the simplification part that was challenging for me. Log made me blur but thank God I was able to recover fast and finish up. A lot were complaining that log was super difficult but I found it rather doable. Didn't go for chinese mock cause my finger was over exerted from amath test. Anyway think mrs yeo knows.

Had a crazy time in class after amath test. Probably cause we were too drained from amath and we neeed to unwind a little ;) Ashiq was the only one doing his work while the rest of us went... crazy..? Heh heh. Actually honestly I feel that Ashiq isn't that bad of a person. He just needs some self-control la. Other than that he's actually quite fine. We were talking about how we solved an amath log question from the test and we used the same method so being excited, I high fived him. And he actually returned the high five! There guys, he's not thatttt bad right? .....MAYbe only sometimes... :P

Went home and WATCHED SKIP BEAT. WHEEEEEEEEEEE! <3 How can I love this drama anymore?? I said before right? I did initially watch it because of Donghae only, but gradually after ep 2, I thought that the drama itself was very impressive. It really projected how a manga would project it. (Y) Really applause the production crew and the ACTORS <3. Love all 4 main actors :) This week's ep 10: thought that donghae was gaining some feelings for ivy ;) hehehehe. I've got a feeling I'll rewatch the whole drama after it's finished airing. AND I THINK IT'LL END IN ANOTHER 2-3 EPISODES D: AWW SO SAD :(((( Cause it's a 3 months' work. They can't film much. The most, 15 episodes? But STILL, 5 episodes more. AWWW :( I'm sad. But I felt good after watching this week's episode.

I shall bathe now and try attempt my hw with my weak thumb.

Amirah actually remembered about my thumb and texted me when she got home and wished me a gws :)

Bye :)

I have learnt to cherish Sundays more.

My fringe is screwed. It's uneven and ... Urgh. :( regretted cutting it into the length I want so fast. Should have slowly cut my way up. Now it's uneven and short and idk what. Hope I can still pin it up in school and hope IT GROWS FAST.

Cut my finger while cutting my fringe ._.

I can't believe I'm saying this here but, I'm very sad my tweaser is spoiling. :(

Top of the world.

Met brother on the way home while he was going out yesterday. Then he asked me if I wanted to run tomorrow. I recklessly said 6. But I pre-warned him that my stamina suck so much I failed my recent 2.4 test and my jogging pace was probably his walking pace. But he said never mind, if can't run anymmore just brisk walk. And he said on. But I changed it to 630 in the end cause I didn't want to wake up at 5. Woke up at 6, got ready at 630. BUT HE HAVE NOT WOKE UP. LAO KUI. Went up to his room and he woke up immdiately anyway. Ate a small piece of banana and had a sip of water. Target: 30min non-stop running. I FREAKING DID IT OKAY. Ran the whole neighbourbood and then up to kent ridge. Ohmygosh, you have no idea how I almost died while running up the slope and steps up kent rigde. But hey! When we've ran one whole round along the whole neighbourhood, brother said we've completed 12:13 of 30. According to him according to google maps, the distance we covered was 2.4km. But because the measurements were taken with satellites, so the distance may be rather off, so it's better to take the distance in 2km. BUT HELLO! My most recent trial test for 2.4km was 18min 41sec. And I managed to run 2km in 12min 13sec?? Incredible!! :D So proud of me. But I guess it was because I was on bata shoes when I ran 2.4 and in proper sport shoes for the 30min run :) And the banana helped man xD

Brother says he wanna run with me every Saturday morning xD Okay on. I can improve on my 2.4 timing! :D Need to create a running playlist on my phone. If not I'll just use his iShuffle. It's tiring carring a phone around. But brother said phones can be used as weights in hands to increase your legs momentum. Oh and I ran the whole course with my phone on my right hand and now it's super suan. Brother said "That's why you never see me keep changing hands meh?". Can't blame me right Imma beginner runner/in exercising. :( How would I know I had to shift the weight here and there between both hands? The whole while I was concentrating on your bobbing head in front of me, afraid that if I ran too slow, you couldn't cover a greater distant D:

But it was nice and caring of brother to jog on the spot while waiting for me after entering the 35th minute of run or something. HAHAHAHA TOTAL BURN OUT. But the run was super worth it. Cause the view from kent ridge was superb. Nice air there too. Brother says we should bring our ezlinks card when we run next time so that we can walk to hort part then jog to mout faber then take an mrt back to home.

Went to the SPC next door and got carrot juice and went home for a refreshing bathe and had breakfast! :D

It became so bright in just a few minutes :)

Ever since there were choir practices on Saturdays, I've been feeling so burnt out every Saturdays. Saturdays have never been relaxing for me. It have became tense, rush and demanding. After my last tuition for the day today, had a somewhat long chat with mummy. Told her how recently 2-3 christian friends have been discouraged by how despite they believe in Christ but they have not felt God working in their lives for the past 2-3 years. It's just so hard to explain for me even though if I understand it within me. What is it to feel God working in my own life. So I asked her. And the whole conversation make me feel so blessed that I've got the priviledge that I grew up in CPBPC and it has laid the foundation of my faith. Blessed that CPBPC is clear with every thing that it preaches and it really ministers to everyone because the message have all been faithfully preached, in the bible context. Never felt more blessed.

Thank God.

Shall sleep early tonight.

I lost my post.

Was typing my entry on the bus and decided to complete it when I've got the time like now. BUT I FORGOT TO SAVE. SMART ASS. And I'm to tired to recall everything.

So let's just say I was tired the whole day and awesomeness happened during bio.


Okay bye.

Slack day!

Did I mentioned how I loveeeeee Wednesdays?? :D Not so much of late school but it's a slack relaxing day. Go school late, then first period CEP = free period and you end the school day with self directed learning period which is also = free period.

I've realised that I'm actually more focused than before and I make sure I plan my day wisely. Lesser comp, more work.

So anyway, mdm yeo didn't come today. So no chinese lessons! :D Spent 2h in the library DOING AMATH. HEH. (Y) There' actually quite a lot I wanna blabble on but I'm too lazy to type. So oh well.

Have a nice day.

LOL.

I amaze myself.

I've been very dependent on my phone recently. Msn: iPhone. Blogger: iPhone. Twitter: iPhone(duh). Radio: iPhone. Basically cause I don't want to touch the comp, or not use it for long hours like how I did last year at least. Cause I know I'll get hooked onto YouTube and never do my homework. #sadstateofaffairs

Didn't know there was an Econ test today. Mr chua gave us 20mins grace to "revise" but seriously, I think cause he knows we didn't study for Econ. I'm seriously honest, I didn't know there was a test, a closed book test some more :/ Sorry mr Chua. So thank God Amirah studied and she gave me the point to study/remember. Okay, managed to finish the whole essay, but think my handwriting was a bit... Worse than a guy's. That's because I was afraid I wouldn't have enough time to complete the essay, so I decided to cancel cancel cancel instead of using the correction tape. Not as if my brains weren't fried enough cause I spent the previous lesson, which was SDL, MUGGING bio. And when my head was full of bio, on the verge of exploding, I had to cram another like don't know how much more of Econ info for the test. And the next lesson WAS ANOTHER TEST. We're not some test-taking robots! :( Spent the whole of last night STUDYING bio. Can you actually believe it?? I studied bio! I stayed up until 1 JUST TO STUDY BIO. #whatanerd The mastery test was the FIRST time I failed bio. Meh. So decided to study at least one out of the four chapters. But in the end, what came out was like 1/10 of what I studied -.-

Seriously... As good as not studying can.

Whatever. I miraculously managed to stay awake during eng, amath and chem BACK TO BACK. DESPITE HAVING A LATE NIGHTS' REST. DESPITE BEING SURROUNDED BY 100000 PEOPLE WHO KEPT SAYING THEY WERE SIAN OR TIRED. I managed to keep awake and paid attention! Wowie.

Realized there wasn't cca today due to common test BUT SEC 4 DON'T HAVE. HAHAHAHA (Y)

Alright. Must. Do. Mrs Philip's homework. Cause I love her.

Okay bye. :)

It's okay.

I did mentioned that I hate changes right? I mean at least most of them. Hate the new IE9. Urgh. Now the screen looks so high up and I can't scroll up any further. -.- Seriously...

Okay anyway, LOVE MRS PHLIP. ONE OF DA BEST TEACHER EVAR. Although I still find her terrifying in class but, outside class, she's the best person you can imagine of ever. Understanding, gentle, kind and everything.

Anyway, recieved a super belated birthday card from jingqiau today and present from ziyan, mingsiew, leonard. Hmmm... HAHAHA it's okay, I always receieved belateds. It doesn't really matter to me :) It's just the thought to the present that counts. Thanks guys :)

That makes me having to add them to my birthday list. I guess I've mentioned before that I'll only make cards/get presents for those who give me for birthday right? Yup. It's a resolution I've made this year cause I guessed I've spent too much unnecessary money and love and time and whatnots on those who don't genuinely appreciate or care for me. I'm not trying to be materialistic or whatever but its just that, if you've actually cared, you'd at least be bothered to write a card or letter for me right? Yep. So I came up with this list, listing who actually bothered and take some effort to do something for me on my birthday and thank them sincerely when it's theirs. :)

Present that I got today.

The card that Gina got from the concert! :) SHE GAVE IT TO MUAZ. ;D

Alright. Okay. Bye.

How shallow.

I was in a state of unstable emotion. But I was calm. I kept telling myself it was alright.

Not until my mum came in my room AND RUBBED IT IN MY FACE THAT I DIDN'T MANAGED TO GO FOR SS4.vi don't see how it's rude to lock myself in my room. Enlighten me, someone. But she didn't like the fact I locked myself in my room. Then she scolded it wasn't right of me to lock my door and be angry just because I DIDN'T GET TO GO TO SS4. Thanks. That moment onward, I broke down again.

When I just recovered from a state of emotional distress, SHE HAD TO DO THIS TO ME RIGHT? I just wanted to have a time being on my own. I closed the door cause I didn't want to see anyone. Even though no one's passing by my room, but I just wanted to be alone in my own space. BUT NO, you didn't allow me to. Then how am I supposed to recharge myself?? Guess the only place I could lock myself in is the toilet. I just need to be alone in my own space to do some thinking and cooling down. Why won't you let me?? With the door open, I'll just have this feeling that people will pop by any moment and I repeat, I'm not ready to face anyone yet.

Then grandmother was curious. Why was I so sad? Dad actually told her I was crying cause I couldn't go SS4. Sorry dad, but how shallow.

No. I didn't cry cause I couldn't go SS4. Yes, true enough, I'd be lying if I said that I'm not sad that I didn't get to go. But it's not a reason sad enough for me to cry over. I was sad because I felt helpless and disappointed over how I had a hard time struggling between God and going for the concert. I mean, it shouldn't have been the case. I should have know clearly that it's a no-no. But it too me so long before I said a no.

You had no idea how hard it was.

Yada yada. Call me the dumbest person in the world. I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I actually let 2 opportunities to go for ss4 fly away.

Today Milton called me to ask me if I can make it for today's ss4 cause he had an extra VIP ticket last minute. And I was already at retreat location. And most importantly, it was a Sunday. I had to turn it down. It wasn't easy saying no. I could have easily just take a cab and chiong all the way to SIS. But it wasn't right. I should put God above anything else. I turned down the offer in the end.

I won't say I regretted my decision. But I can't deny that it actually sting me.

보고싶었어

Okaycanwilldoareareallyshortpostnow.

Was really tired yesterday so I slept early with the plan to wake up at 4am. But I was probably too tired that I was so deep in sleep that I couldn't hear my alarm. In the end, dad heard it from the 3rd floor and came down to turn it off. So I didn't get to do any homework today.

Had choir from 9-1230 then rushed to Chinese tuition 1230-230 then rushed home for chem tuition 3-430. Susah la. Didn't eat lunch. Like on diet sia ._. Then I was so tired after Chem tuition, I slept. And cause I was so tired, I didn't wake up for dinner, thinking that I'll skip it and sleep more. So end up never eat dinner. Cham. I'll really lose weight if I carry on with such lifestyle.

Today was unproductive as usual. It's just that I've not touched the computer the whole day. So unlike my usual Saturday routine. Now I feel a little weird.

BUT IM STILL RATHER TIRED. Mist be cause I was so worn out from 15-17 cause I didn't have proper rest.

Today was quite hard to get by. Although I'm honestly cool that I didn't get to go to ss4, but somehow it still kind of stings when you see all the twitter updates and whatnots everywhere right? Thinking that, that should've been me. Thinking that, I was so close to going but I'm still so far away. Thinking that, they're finally in Singapore and why in the world am I stuck at home sucking my thumb.

Guess God didn't want me to go anyway. His way is best.

Because friends fight and get closer after that.

Yesterday was world depression day. Everyone was feeling depressed. Trust me on this, I've never cried so hard about friendship problems this hard before. Then everything came crashing on me. Like the pissed off incident and the can't-go-ss4-anymore incident started to make me even more sad. And then I started to think about my actions that day that what I've done wasn't right and I was being such a bad testimony for the Lord. And that made me feel even worst. I cried so bad until my nose was completely blocked and I couldn't breathe in air through my nose anymore. Used my mouth to take in the air that I needed.

I guess afterall it was my fault of being so caught up in my own depression that I forgot to be sensitive towards you. So after much thought, I decided to take the initiative and apologise and try to make up. And when you saw and replied in the morning, you had no idea I teared right. I know you were going through a lot and I still... Sigh don't wanna talk about it. But you still forgive me :) Thank you.







First thing wake up in the morning, face puffy and eyes so freaking small. Bet my mum knew I cried to sleep, but she just didn't wanna say it. Though she asked why my eyes like so small today, I told her I had nasal conjestion. WHICH WAS TRUE. Just that I didn't tell her the whole senario. So she told me I'm getting the flu and I'd better take care of myself.

Went to school with a heavy heart, cause I still wasn't sure if you were just replying for the sake of replying me or you really meant it. Face was heavy, smiling was a chore. BUT I HAD TO. If I didn't smile and joke, my friends would think that I'm not alright and not. Until during English you drew me a smiley. I knew you really meant to make up with me.

During English lesson ms yang was like suddenly talking about korean dramas. Then diana went "ey! She talking about korean dramas! Okay okay lets listen to her" Then ms yang slowly digressed from korean dramas to food and diana said "Eee, she not talking about korean dramas anymore. Don't want listen to her" HAHAHAH diana even count down to her lesson :P

Rest of the day was plain dry. But I remebered opening up slowly during the day. Like I was able to laugh and smile without feeling that it was a chore. My face felt lighter, and easier to lift while smiling.

OH YA. AMATH. MRS PHILIP IS OFFICIALLY ADDED TO MY "COOL TEACHERS" LIST. SERIOUSLY. SHE'S LIKE ONE OF THE COOLEST TEACHER OUT THERE EVER! She's just very firm during class time. But a super nice and caring teacher outside lessons. AND A SUPER WILD AND CRAZY PERSON AT HOME. (Y) HAHAHA OFFICIALLY LOVE HER. AND I SHALL WORK HARD FOR AN A1 FOR BOTH MATHS.NO MORE LAZY PAZY. #DETERMINED.

Maybe mummy knew I was feeling really depressed and that's why she allowed me to go out late and have dinner out tonight. Supposed to reach home by 730 but I reached home at 830 instead. Thought I wouldnt get nagged but I didn't. Thank God. Anyway, went to queensway today to search for class hoodies. QUEENSWAY SHOPPING CENTRE IS A LITERAL MAZE CAN. Pfft. Went in circles just to find the shops. Then went to anchor point's bloominton! Missed that place man! Even though I only went there twice :P Then had dinner at ikea. IKEA MEATBALLS. BEST THANG EVAR. I know I mentioned it before, BUT IT'S STILL WORTH THE MENTION. TEEHEE.

Guessed you didn't noticed and I didn't have the courage to tell you. But it was really sweet of you to point to a plaque saying Thank you for being such a sweet and caring friend. It meant a lot. :)

It's amazing how I looked back at today and all the little bits and pieces of today fitted in well so perfectly just to improve my mood. Thank God for the sustanence today He has given me. And the comfort yesterday when Kenny happened to send a text with referrence to a verse reflecting if we were tired or unhappy.

What can I be not thankful for?

I am trying to suppress it as well as I can.

Seems like everyone seem to realize that I'm in a rather bad state. Maybe I was overly quiet today. Gimbin Lucas huiru. They all noticed. Even when I went home my parents noticed. Wanted to pass it off with the ss4 is cancelled for me. But I figured it's not good lying. So I just kept mum.

Lost my appetite. Had soup for dinner. Having slight gastrics now while attempting my last piece of amath ws.

It actually makes me tear more to see my friends trying to comfort me. Because I know they care. And it touches me.

It's not your fault. It's just me. As usual. Being sad about stuffs I shouldn't be.

Thanks for the shoulder I can lean on.

Thank you for being there for me, trying hard to make me smile.

Valentine's.

Today was rather eventful. I guess. Turned out quite well. Thank God.

Recieved a lot of goodies/letters/cards/chocs/roses from friends. Thank you :> Seriously, you guys are really sweet. OH. AND I RECIEVED A KOI FOR VALENTINE'S FROM IAN. HAHAHA SO RANDOM. He was boasting how sweet it was of him to get me koi for valentine's and I was like saying how ordinary koi was. But deep down I was like awwwww. For a guy like him to bother is already rather nice of him. Heh heh.

So had to carry all the gifts and roses to tuition. Paiseh max. Others were like staring at me x.x Then after tuition, on the way home, I had to pass through a cafe. Though my earpiece was on my ears but I have not switched on the music. Then a guy sitting down with his friend followed  my roses as I walked pass them and I heard him exclaimed "Wa not bad, she has so many roses. Popular." And I was mentally like BAHAHAHAHAHA. YOU NEVER SEE PEOPLE CARRY ROSE BEFORE??? HAHAHA.

Tuition was dry.

Went home, ate like a pig.

Texted xinyuan. HAHAHAH TOLD HIM THE WHOLE DAY'S EVENT. BLEH. Poor him. Sick. Ey, get well soon la! Drink more water and get more rest. Don't stalk nuts or alex! :P

I think Monique gave me the most thoughtful present. As in, it's wrapped nicely and done thoughtfully.

Am I making sense? LOL.



Before I go, thank you you sweet loving nice awesome thoughtful wonderful friends that I have! Really thank you for the effort put in in your gifts. I'll keep the cards and savour the sweets okay :) And water the roses until they whither.

Okay, done. Gonna sleep now.

Disappointed.

About one month plus of planning. Meh. The first batch was way better than the second. Should have not listened to mummy's advice for the second batch. IT WAS HELL. Its okay guys, you can throw them away if its too disgusting. Bleh.

Sweetened

Dad didn't want me to stay back in church cause he thinks I have had not enough rest so I should go home early and rest since I was a little sick from yesterday's flag day. Meh. Sound like I so nua D: But lunch with family was awesome xD ATE AT MELTING POT :D awesome buffet that lasted me till dinner. But I was tempted to eat Maggie mee when I was this YouTube video the people in it eating Maggie mee and I was like SOOOO TEMPTED by the smell through the video. Heh. My imagination too colorful.

Was having a brief chat with joelc. HAHAHA he never fails to cheer me up. Asked Hannah to pass him his super belated card during sg. Someone once apologized to me for giving me a rather bated present cause we both couldn't really meet up. And the person said sorry for the belated, it's like not cherishing the actual birthday and it defeats the purpose of a birthday. So the person inspired me to NOT give out any belated birthday cards or presents. Well at least try not to go over a week. Cause it just shows the insincerity behind the giver. Doesn't it..? Well, in most case.

Talked to bffl. Then did Chinese. Okaybye.

Mummy so cute.

가당사랑.

Page 34 of 366. FLAG DAY!

Had choir in the morning. WAS SO HAPPY. Cause I was in my bestest condition ever this whole year to sing. My throat was open and my diaphragm was connected to my voice so I was like super can-sing-everything-nicely. And what made me happier was that I didn't have the horrible morning voice today! :D Awesome or awesome?? Very awesome!

Was released at 1015 for flag day. And went from city mall to raffles city to outram to tiong bahru. SO. MANY. KIND. SOULS. OUT. THERE. At first you had no idea how depressed I was at city hall. Everyone donated to yuanshan xinyi cheryl and jingqiau but THEY ALL REJECTED MINE. WA SUPER SAD CAN. I did approach them okay! They all either reject or donated already D: And I found it super awkward when asking people to donate today. But soon, when I got the hang of it, IT WAS OKAY THAT I WAS REJECTED. I was totally cool with it. And I don't find it think-skinned to ask people to donate ANYMORE.

Flag day totally taught me that going out and asking for donations is SOOOO not easy. So as of today, I'm inspired to donate at least once if a can reaches me in the future. It's really hard work kay. Had quite a few $10 in my can ^^ THANK YOU TO ALL THE KIND SOULS OUT THERE WHO WERE WILLING TO DONATE WHEN I APPROACHED YOU OR TOOK THE INITIATIVE TO DONATE OR YOU DONATED $10 IN MY CAN. Sinagpore DO HAVE KIND PEOPLE LIKE YOU ALL. And that's what make us a caring nation. I guess.

OH. AND I WAS STEROTYPICALLY WRONG. All the angmors that I asked if they would like to donate, THEY JUST DAO-ED AND WALKED PASS ME. Thought they were super nice and kind and generous. Turn out not. Instead, those who donated NOTES, especially those who donated $10 are ALL YOUNG CHINESE GUYS. HAHAHAHAHAHA. WHO SAID SINGAPOREAN GUYS CMI?? GIRLS, NOW GOT HOPE ALREADY?? HAHAHAHA. At least they bothered to donate. And they were generous. HA.

Legs breaking. Have been standing practially whole day. Morning stand cause of choir. Afternoon stand cause flag day. Evening stand cause bus-ed home in a super crowded bus. I'M FINALLY SITTIN NOW. But was kinda sad I couldn't attend YF today. Dad said I'll be too tired so he told me not to go.

Just a random thought, don't feel like wearing contacts tomorrow cause I'M LAZY. Well, we'll see how tomorrow lahh.

Okaybye.

ZOOM.

SIANESS MAXIMUM. :(

The fact that SS4 IS IN A WEEK AND A DAY'S TIME HAS NOT HIT ME. IT STILL SEEMS QUITE FAR AWAY. Whatever. HA. OH SHIZZZ. Means I can't meet Brandon tomorrow again? Hm. That's... Bad :/ Haiyo. Always cannot meet cause I'm too busy.

FEE FOE THE GIANT GOES. Spent my lunch with ziyan. Have not been alone and talking to her for a longggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time. Too long I forgot the last time we were actually alone together.

Jason was trying out to figure out my blog url. LOL. HAVE A NICE TIME FIGURING IT OUT ;) I removed the url from my twitter already. Figured it's dangerous cause recently a lot of YFers from church following me on twitter and WHAT IF THEY CLICK MY BLOG URL. Although there's nothing much to hide but still, DOESN'T IT FEEL WERID?? Meh. HI YUANSHAN! ^^ YOU AWESOME STALKER you seem to be rather updated with my thoughts cause YOU STALK ME :P

HI KAIYING. Although idk how you got my url but still. YOU CRAZY GIRL! :D HAI. :)

Got to remmeber to bring xinyi's present tomorrow and write her card TODAY. LOLOL. If I don't bring tomorrow GG already. :/ Katherine and Cheryl still owes me money. HURRY RETURN ME SO I DON'T FEEL SO BROKE ^^

kthnxbai.

That Angst.

My heart is gonna explode any moment now. Urgh. Its like the feeling you wanna bang and just rant but YOU CAN'T. THE MOST MISERABLE FEELING EVER. YOU CAN'T RANT AND YOU GOT TO BOTTLE EVERYTHING DOWN AND KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. I CAN REALLY FEEL MY HEART GONNA EXPLODE ANY MOMENT SOON. RUINED ALL MY GOOD MOOD THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE POSTING ANYMORE. KTHNXBYE.

What happened to everything??

Went to clementi mall to buy xinyi's present. LOL. Am I spoiling the surprise? Hope not. At least hope xinyi doesn't read this. Heh. Just realised its 8 Feb. Means one more month away from benc's birthday. GOTTA THINK OF WHATTA BUY AGAIN. Shall give him something epic :)
Friends. Probably the third most likely thing for me to cry about.
Was actually in a good mood at clementi mall :) Met ernwei on the way back. HAHAHA. HE SAW MY NERDY SIDE. GOSH. PAISEH. He actually managed to recognise my back. LOLOL. With nerdy specs, fringe pinned up, long skirt. HA. #nerdforlife man.
I was disappointed in you.
Maybe when I'm alone my thoughts start to drift and wonder off..? Started the whole depression thing again. I GUESS I'M QUITE AN EMONEMO PERSON. THIS IS PATHETIC MAN.

But felt much better after talking to joelc.

I always believe things will be better tomorrow.

Before the last few words of Page 38 of 366.

Let's just say I was thankful mrkwei left at 430 to go sa. Ha. So means he came CSS to see us and then sa to see xy papa.

So tired as usual. I'm already starting to feel the strain somehow or rather.

Not much thoughts today though. But I hate dislike every Tuesday as long as it's not the school holiday, period. Forever. Tuesdays have been rather miserable for me ever since I was a sec 3.

OH YA. MRSP SAW ME "RUNNING THE WHOLE ROUND" while I was trying to run away from Diana. ALL YOUR FAULT LA GIRL D;

#nowplaying 下一个我 - 炎亚伦 Love 93.3

Okay bye.

Still not settling down! D:

Bused home with BenC yesterday. HAHAHAHA finally got to see him after a long while. This sweetie brought my belated present. HEHEHEHE Don't know, but the pillow and notebook seemed rather expensive adding up together. But what was precious was that he wrote his FIRST EVER LETTER. He said he's never ever written such a long note which was able to be actually considered a letter but he was determined to write me a letter cause he was touched by the letter I wrote him on his birthday. HAHAHA. I'M SO HONOURED I'M DA FIRST.

Had bahu with bread this morning! Everyone's like bakwa bakwa bakwa and I'm like BAHU!. Ha. Was unexpectedly high in the morning with yuanshan. Don't know why.
Then I felt neglected during the course of the day again.
Was listening to expat radio. THEY WERE PLAYING SO MANY SONGS I KNEW FOR THE FIRST TIME. Then was creating puns with esther and eugene LOLOL. EPICNESS MAXIMUM.

The pressie he bough me! Cute or cute??

Kay. 10:10 bye

Contrast

The day I've been waiting for. Monday; the day I look forward to.

Guess you don't need me anymore.

Been feeling crappy the whole week. And this kinda sorta cheered me up a little bit.



But it's sad how I find comfort in such stuff.
-
-
-I have fears.
-I have many insecurities.
-I get jealous very easily.
-I'm not as understanding as you think.
-I'm just as fragile and weak.
-
-Everytime me taking the initiative to talk to you,
-makes me think that you find me irritating and you don't wanna talk to me
-You make me doubt our friendship this way.
You make me pause for awhile.

난싫어.이알게나?

Oh its 9 now. Okay just a very short lil' post.

Was depress the whole morning. But I couldn't put the blame on anyone cause it would be unfair. It wasn't the person's fault. It's just me. I didn't like what the person did. But I couldn't tell anyone about it. So I kept the depressed feeling within myself. Choir made me even more depressed.

Had a little talk with Leehui and she cheered me up. Ha. Her epic phrase "Never mind its good, look more. It's good for the eyes." TSK. LEEHUI.

Need wake up early for breakfast tomorrow with 4P bio mates!

kbye.

25th. The evil maknae forever!

생일축하합니다규현이! (^_^)
건강하고안전하게
훌륭하게노래를계속해서
사랑해!♥

Brrr. It's cold.

Been either in air conditioned room or a place where the raw cold wind slaps your face left and right the whole day. Although hanging out with jingxuan influenced me to be rather resistant to coldness (well at least being lazy enough to whip out our jackets despite freezing to death).

Met Jason in the bus this morning. HA. Talking about how mdm soh demonstrated petting to papa surf for our CEP lesson. And other little little whatnots.

English => Econ => Chem.
Had my usual fun with Kaiying as what always happen during Chem :) I really find it amazing how despite the fact we talk and make our own little jokes during ms lee's lesson, but we were still able to learn and take back some with us (or not..?) hahaha. Think my drawing skills of mslee is getting better ^^ Yep. We have a tradition. Every Chem lesson I'll be drawing a portrait of her and write one classic phrase along with it. And not to forget the date! HAHAHAHA It started cause I was really bored to tears during her lesson. Like whatever she teaches within the week, Brandon covers all of them in 1.5h and probably even faster than what she teaches together with more details. But gradually, I discovered a passion for sketching out mslee clothes. LOLOL. THAT KINDA SOUND PATHETIC :(

Anywayzzzz, did I mention? Almost all our chem lessons are like the third consecutive lessons that mslee will take. So she's always high during our lessons. And the reason she gives is that cause she hadn't had any break, water or food during the last two hours and she still have to put up with another hour. Poor thing. But I like her being high! :D Oh and this' how she link her highness to how a person would be crazy after not eating and drinking for 3 days or something. HAHAHAH cute :P

It's Friday tomorrow? Yes right? Yep I'm right. Just checked the calendar. Sigh at how time pass so quickly. It's once again another week that's passing soon. How being let off early and going to teban with ziyan & Christine is still fresh in my mind. It feels that passing the day itself is excruciatingly slow, especially when you're doing something you don't like. But then when you look back again, you'll see another week coming to an end.

Don't have any homework today except for the two questions in amaths. Shall complete my Chinese compo then go and redo all the questions in the differentiation notes. Need to be really quick and efficient in solving those.

Yay mummy bought my "Okay lor. Errrr subway melt 6 inch. Parmesan oregano as bread. Veg want ONIONS and tomato. Sauce want chipotle southwest. If you buying the meal I want chocolate chip macadamia nuts if don't have, double chocolate also can. Then the drinks can put anything but coke" SUBZ HAHAH ^^

Waiting for her to come home now~

kthnxbai

Hee.

Well I'm just thankful that I wasn't slaughtered by mrs philip when she handed me my emath script. Ha.



This guy is so good.

Hello there, February.

HAHAHA YAY. I'M FINALLY ATTEMPTING TO POST ON THE BUS. HEE.

Had like two consecutive free periods today cause mdm yeo wasn't around and it was SDL after that. So it was kinda slack for today.

The first period was CEP. Mdm soh was talking about sex and the different stages in a bgr. But I thought the fort step was kinda... Retarded. (HA. HAVEN'T BEEN USING THAT WORD FOR A LONG TIME) It was eye contact. So jonghan was like telling to have eye contact with mdm soh and asked if that was considered a relationship. LOLOL. Anyway, as usual, mdm soh was talking away and no one was listening. We were either talking or doing our own work. LOL. :P BUT NO. I WAS COLLECTING THE BIO CONSENT FORM AND SIX BUCKS FROM HER BIO STUDENTS OKAY. HAHAHAH. Then Jason purposely asked her in front of me if she likesme and she ACTUALLY SAID "Ya ya I like HuiEn what." and before that she was complimenting I was a capable person cause I managed to collect stuffs so fast and efficiently. #BIGGESTACCOMPLISHMENT OR WHAT??

English was alright at first. But then I got bored and sleepy at the last 15minutes. And then suddenly time began to pass excruciatingly slow. -sighs- tried very hard to stay alert. But the Diana beside me was like dozing off. Somehow spreading the sleepiness to me. So I didn't manage to be alert. BUT HEY I STILL KEPT AWAKE OKAY :)

As if I wasn't drained enough already. Next period was amath. BUT I WAS FEELING HUNGRY ALREADY :( whatever. Ha. I survived amath lesson. Yeah I don't hate amath nor the lesson, nor the teacher. I just feel uncomfortable with the stress I feel from amath lessons. But still, I think it's good in its way. It drives me to work harder. Especially for an award-winning lazy ass like me, I really need that.

Jack was mentioning. He doesn't think I'm weak in maths cause I grasp the concepts well. So well I guess it's just probably I have this subconscious of fearing ALL KINDS OF AMATH EXAMS IN CSS. That's probably it. If not, it's just my brain being too square-minded and I don't do enough processing.

Whatever the case, I actually enjoy learning and working on amath among all my subjects.

Went to collect my emath paper. #disappointed. I failed by 2 marks. How can I fail emath?? If I can't even pass it, then how to expect myself to pass emath?? -sighs- But oh well, it somehow made me more motivated to work harder on my maths :)

It's the 32nd page already. Time to settle down.