Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Nameless, among the multitude. All but nothing.

用妳給我的翅膀飛 我懂這不是傷悲

再高都不會累 我們都說好了

用妳給我的翅膀飛 我感覺己夠安慰
烏雲也不再多 我們也不為誰掉眼淚

This song suddenly came into my mind.
 
I realised that this was in his first ever album. Awesome. I was actually listening to the MV at first and I realised that JJ's voice hasn't really changed much since his debut. Probably he just sounds more sentimental since he has gone through so much already. About 8 years right? Ya about there. Yep, and he sounds more matured now. He's vibrato (actually I'm not sure if you call that that LOL) is still about the same, just that it sounds deeper now, and nicer.
 
Was stalking looking through Jayi's blog just now (got influenced by Cheryl ahem.) and I think she's really cool. Really, heartfelt sincerely, she's cool. Probably the coolest girl of her kind that I know. And somehow it got me thinking, it'll be cool if I changed the url of my blog and don't tell anyone of my blog url and just put it on my twitter bio page. Then let the meticulous people find out for themselves. But then I figured out a good question... "What url should I change it to?" And then I couldn't think of a better url than http://sweetened-bitterness.blogspot.com/. So I gave up the idea.
 
To be honest, when I thought of this, I just modified from the urls sweetened-vintage and sweetened-revenge. Kay, yes yes, a very lame thing to do. But pardon me, I was p5 or p6 when I created this URL. So there has to be this childishness right? But then in recent years, I've been thinking of this url and I guess, hey, it sounds nice. Sweet is the direct opposite of bitter. And why sweetened bitterness? Maybe because after through the many stupid obstacles me overcome, here comes the sweetness of accomplishment. That's where your bitterness gets sweetened. Do I make sense? Cause I think I do.
 
#nowplaying 華麗的獨秀 - Super Junior-M.
 
Today was not a good day. But it wasn't that bad like suckish. I just didn't enjoy today. Was thinking I could pour everything out to channy today but apparently the ulcer in his stomach burst so he's like dying now and we can't talk. Okay. Sian. Never mind, he's health matters. Get well soon dearie! I'll be praying for you okay :)
 
LOLOL. Have been listening to Jay Chou's songs for the past few ten minutes..? He's songs are nice... But somehow making me depressed with this sinking feeling ._. Ohmygosh. Brother, stop introducing more of his songs that are unknown to me, to me...
 
Was planning to pour out what I've been thinking about the whole day here, but my nails are in the wayyyyy ._. So sian. #pekcek.
 
Whatever. Shall attempt.
 
So actually I was feeling a little depressed in my morning. Like DUHHH, feeling monday blues on a wednesday..? Who doesn't feel depressed when you have to go back to school. Then the depressed feeling to deeper as the day went on. Somehow I managed to suppress it and then got myself to be myself in school. But I feel so out of place during SDL. Urgh. Like I wanted to participate in the conversation, but I've got nothing to talk about. And I was like being quiet like an emo freak. Checked my phone and twitter regularly. You know, sometimes, just sometimes, when I've really got nothing to say and I feel awkward/out-of-place, I'll just hide it with my phone and use it to cover up my 'insecurities' if you would even call it one.
 
And after all these years spending in commonwealth, I've came to a realisation that since sec 3, I get depressed easily. Sometimes for an unexpainable reason that the sinking feeling just hits me, sometimes of trivial matters that pricks me subconsciously. Then at the end of the day the prick becomes my wound because it managed to bother me so much. But I guess it's okay cause I get over things very easily. At least faster than many of the friends I know. And maybe that's the good thing about it. However all these are only possible by God's grace and sustanance. That should probably be the difference between me and most of my school friends. I guess. Whenever I'm faced with a setback, I'm always comforted by the fact that it's okay, God will see me through this. Instead of emoing in a corner and swallow in self-pitying, thinking why haven't I done better. And I think I'm thankful for that.
 

No comments: